The Conclave

The Ordos Majoris - Roleplay => Out Of Character => Topic started by: Inquisitor Sargoth on August 03, 2009, 11:12:21 PM

Title: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Sargoth on August 03, 2009, 11:12:21 PM
AM was probably the best thing I ever wrote, and I really enjoyed it. University put paid to my weekly updates and it was left on a backburner, perhaps to simmer forever, incomplete. The new forum has given me a chance to inject some adrenaline directly into the heart muscle.

However, you may have noticed I've barely posted any of it! It was the best I wrote, certainly, but it places it my storyline was lazy, it jumped too often whenever I got bored and it was a little too dogmatic. So I'm going to redraft it, over time. Please reread it; it should be better and I daresay my former readers have forgotten about it as it's not moved in nearly a year. 
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Kallidor on August 03, 2009, 11:51:17 PM
I don't think I'll bother with an 'analysis of the character', I doubt I'll say anything that others haven't said or that you yourself aren't aware of, or even anything decent, but certainly, for something with such pace, it gives a real insight into the personality and mentality of the man.

I think that that can be the real flaw of any fan fiction, that the characters are always this or that, radical/puritan/et cetera, but as individuals and people they have no character beyond a basic archetype so I definitely think you've overcome that here.
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: MarcoSkoll on August 04, 2009, 12:38:20 AM
AM was (and is, I suppose) fantastic work, to the extent that was one of the few things unrelated to me that I had off-line saves of it.

I couldn't say I'd forgotten it, given I was actually re-reading all of those only two (or perhaps three, my timekeeping is awful) days ago...
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Sargoth on August 04, 2009, 01:46:19 AM
That's rather flattering, Marco.

Kallidor - At the risk of sounding pretensious, AM was written to be partly an investigation into the psychology of the Inquisition and its factions and philosophies. The main thrust of this part was never posted, however. I spent many, many pages just setting the scene...
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: kormas on August 04, 2009, 12:05:32 PM
well, just read it and i want MORE!!!!!. it was very intreaging. and i like your writing style :D
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Sargoth on August 04, 2009, 12:38:35 PM
Thank you!

Another update, this one sizeable. No significant changes from the old, just a bit of cleaning up on bits I found unwieldy and the odd bizarre typo when spellcheck put in words which made no sense. The first few ones shouldn't change much until the dramatic finale of this section - the same with the next part, really. Though I hope to really improve the investigation/game.
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Dosdamt on August 04, 2009, 02:07:14 PM
Read first time around, will continue to stay abreast....
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Gideon Sterne on August 06, 2009, 12:11:23 AM
This is really good! More please. :)
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: kormas on August 06, 2009, 09:33:40 AM
wow, i am realy liking the updates :D, please keep them up, will continue following with great intrest :D
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Ranovack on August 07, 2009, 02:12:52 PM
Ive just finnished reading it and imlooking forward to the next bi whenever that may appear :)
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: kormas on August 10, 2009, 10:15:37 AM
wow, just wow. i loved that last installment, especialy the part about "sometimes the prey wins" brillient story line and very nice writing style :D
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Sargoth on August 10, 2009, 10:30:48 AM
Thank you all once again - tell your friends! Perhaps one is a publisher who might be interested in my work.  :P

Next bit needs a bit of reworking but really shouldn't take that long. The final update of this episode of Dorian's life will take a while longer to improve before posting.

EDIT: Upon checking, my last update seemed to be missing several key paragraphs at the start. These have now been added and mean that the rest of it actually makes sense rather than just being a random fight...
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Mohauk on August 19, 2009, 04:22:12 PM
Just read this again, and it doesn't lose anything in the rereading. The editing must be quite subtle (or my memory quite bad) because it seems pretty similar to me. It reads very smoothly, and I'm enjoying picking up on all the little allusions.

Raguel as a character feels like an unanswered question to me. Not sure why. I assume because he's down and out that that's it for him, but there's a feeling that you have somewhere else to go with him. Certainly Dorian seemed subtly interested. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Anyway, keep it up! I'm looking forward to the next installment (especially because I know something of what's coming.)

MM.
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Sargoth on August 19, 2009, 05:32:47 PM
So far, editing has been light and subtle. I think the next bits will be edited more heavily for clarity.

Raguel (and poor, dead Leto) will never return. They were temporary companions, partly developed so you'd be mildly surprised when they died/suffered severe head trauma.

EDIT: Overdue update, but it is big. Always been unsure whether or not the oddly romantic overtones were too blatant or not...
Title: Re: Aurea Mediocritas OOC
Post by: Inquisitor Sargoth on April 09, 2010, 10:38:18 AM
My continual re-tooling continues, I'm afraid. It's changing once again, adding more dialogue and trying to get more of the weird feel of the 40kverse into the prologue section. Also a few less conincidences and a bit more explanation of the villains, when it gets to it.