I don't recall reading about the exploits of this character before but she seems very interesting
Well, this is the first experiment of writing her at an age other than up to her current age of 45 (current as far as the present "Conclave date" of M42.010). Even without that restriction, there's not much to read of the exploits of this particular version of the character yet, as I only recently rewrote her (her character sheet, and a summary of some of the larger differences from the previous version, can be seen here
And as far as the "meat" of the character... obviously, a first person character is going to need depth, mutant or not. But I do think the mutant perspective is a pretty rare one - psykers, yes. "Regular" mutants, less so - so there's some potential for exploration.
It was good to see you discuss how mutants are normally perceived and yet Lynn doesn't hold a grudge
I think after twenty-four hundred years, she's probably realised that such grudges are pointless, and actually more of a problem. Still, I bring it up because I do intend to cover in more depth why exactly this mutant is helping a society which so ostracises her in a later instalment.
I'll admit that Jax isn't quite the typical 40k mutant, as she doesn't look like a waxwork which has been put in the microwave - here's the concept art for her
(this version of the picture fixes some of the flaws in the version I linked from her character thread).
Like I say, not typical, but there are some precedents for "mutants who would be pretty but for X" in the canon, so not exactly unreasonable.
I think the use of the offspring of Skoll was quite effective, with the undying servant of sorts now holding the position of authority; they may well be the descendants but Lynn actually knew the Inquisitor.
I had originally conceived other possibilities for the other characters in this, but the idea of a family which Jax had watched go by for many generations appealed. It seemed like a coping strategy - the thought that she hasn't really lost the people she once knew, because they live on in their descendents.
It also seemed like the kind of thing I could imagine Marco and Silva doing. Their relationship is certainly strong enough that they'd want
children, although they'd both recognise the fact it really wasn't possible to mix children and the work of the Inquisition. So, that's the solution they came up with - and it's actually very interesting from a roleplay perspective, thinking about how characters have planned for their death and legacy.
It also has to be assumed that Jax will gain a lot more of Marco's trust in coming years - not that they're suspicious of one another currently, but you do have to be very sure about someone to let them bring up pretty much every descendent you're ever going to have.
I found the first-person narration to be well handled too, not too laboured and Lynn wasn't prattling on in her own head.
I don't actually write in first person very often - mainly because I'm often swapping between the actions of several characters, and first person isn't practical in such a case.
However, this time, it seemed appropriate. Jax is very definitely the lead character here, and being able to present her particular take and explanations on things is going to be pretty important as I go along.