Raptors Chapter archive: Battle Notes, Tuloni III

[Wulf]

Hello all!

After some time lurking on the forums, I finally decided to write something. The Tuloni III incident is my first attempt at WH40K, so bear with me if it's utter crap.

Comments and criticism welcome.

[Baraltax]

Well done, Wulf. I've read it beginning to end today, and, though at first, with the formal introduction of the characters and so, I thought it a bit slow paced, the detail and built-up in the end do contribute to my enjoyement of the whole.

Hope to return and see more of this.

[Wulf]

Thanks, buddy. I must say that I'm not completely satisfied with it. It'd need quite a bit of tweaking, but I can't seem to find the time. Especially the dialog is weak at best, and I'm not real happy with the storyline either.

But I do have something simmering, so expect to see more at some point.

[Wulf]

An update. Somewhat dialogue heavy, and a classic failure of "show, don't tell", but meh... *shrug*