Inquisitor Ani Lycanson

[Frostspear]

Uh...hi.
This is my first post here so forgive me if something's not quite right.

I'm fairly new to Inquisitor and some of my group *ahem* persuaded me to post my current warband here in hopes of criticism and advice, preferably the constructive kind. I don't have any proper background story written up, but the first two do have a filled-in questionnaire I found on here, I believe posted by Kallidor, and I'll try to provide justification for stats and such where necessary to avoid having to do so later. Sorry in advance for the length, and without further adieu...

Inquisitor Ani Lycanson

Ws   Bs    S    T     I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld
71   73   56  58  72   83   82   71   82

Ws & Bs - Trained to Inquisition standards with a slight preference for ranged.
S & T - Fast and agile as opposed to heavy and powerful. Ties in with initiative.
I - Already covered.
Wp - Inquisition levels of will plus a natural aptitude for the psychic.
Sg - More intended to represent natural intelligence than actual knowledge, the sort that might incur knowledge-based negative modifiers.
Nv - Inquisition standard.
Ld - I'd sooner have it lower, but being an Inquisitor would naturally require a certain level of leadership.

Equipment :-
Master Crafted Bolt Carbine [1 reload, 10 Inferno Bolts, 10 Stalker Bolts], Power Sword,  3 Blind Grenades, 2 Melta Bombs,  custom Targeting Visor [Aura Scrye, Range Finder with motion compensator, Comm-Link], Psi Booster, Carapace Armour [helmet optional], Long Coat [no sleeves or hood], Medi Pak, Med Skull

Custom Targeting Visor - Optional kill-timer can track number of enemies taken down by self or HUD-synced team members in given time period. Audio link plays music per user request. 

Abilities:-
Heroic, Feint, Medic, Psychic Natural

Heroic - Intended more as a natural trait than something achieved, though perhaps unwarranted.
Psychic Natural - Provides a bonus modifier to psychic tests. Perhaps a bit much, but I wanted to represent a natural talent.

Powers:-
Force Shock, Force Shield, Mind Scan, Seal Warp Breach, Bind Corruption

Force Shock - A probably overpowered psychic attack;

Range  Mode  Accuracy  Damage  Difficulty  Special
    C     Single        -         2D6+5        10       Ignores armour, cover, and force fields absorb all damage or none.

Force Shield - Psychic Shield by a different name.

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Kallidor's questionnaire:-


Where is your character from? Be specific, not just a planet or a city.
An unnamed Medieval-stage world near the Belis Corona sector. Specifics are irrelevant as he was saved from being burnt as a witch at a fairly young age by Inquisitor Tybalt Garvin, Ordo Xenos, and holds no fond memories of the place.

Does your character have a family? Give details; who are they?
Yes, but also fairly irrelevant, they were part of the witch-hunting mob.

What does your character look like? Not numbers or clothing but style, looks, et cetera.
Fairly young-looking, appears around 20-ish, with long, red hair generally tied back and a goatee. His eyes are blue and he adopts a fairly plain style.

How does your character dress? Does their wardrobe contain twenty identical outfits or do they have dress-up/dress-down clothes? Go mad, look in your own wardrobe for ideas.
It's a rather small, plain wardrobe favouring dark colours, with a ceremonial outfit in black with gold trim, fairly basic casual wear in black and grey while out of combat. In it, he wears a suit of custom-fitted carapace armour in a shade of argent. Common to each, however, is a black long coat.

Does your character have physical quirks, ticks or habits? Does he sweat profusely when nervous? Does he scratch himself in unflattering places or chew his fingernails? Has his nose been broken and never set properly?
He has a tendency to fidget with gloves or other hand/wrist wear when idle or nervous.

Where did your character learn their skills? Where did they first shoot a gun, wield a sword et cetera?
Mostly in the training facilities aboard the Shadow of Intent, Inquisitor Garvin's cruiser, while serving as part of his team.

What else does your character know, stuff that doesn't come into the combats like a passion for Terran Wines for example? Where did he learn it? How did it develop?
A particular interest in alien cultures and history, developed from reading of such in his spare time.

Where did he get his goodies?
Most would have come from his late mentor who was rather experienced, including his ship, its armoury, including an antique power sword, and an aura-scrye. Anything else required would have been requested from the Administratum.

Where does your character live? Again, be specific.
Mostly in his personal quarters on the strike cruiser Shadow of Intent, the small, simple one he used as an Interrogator. Technically, the large one his mentor used is his, but he's more comfortable in the smaller one.

Who does your character know? Some of these may be warband members, others not. Detail them, do the twenty questions for them if you have time.
Well, his current team consisting of Storm Trooper Sergeant Kai Andon, the House Orlock Heavy "Boz" and the ship's chief Engineseer, Magos Technicus Drake Feron, as well as all the ship's major crew, most of the minor ones and its small compliment of Storm Troopers. Outside of that, there's a few warbands he's worked with; a group of Savlar renegades "Quelli Santificati", with whom the relationship is strained as a result of significantly differing methods and ideology, a team of Valhallan spec-ops and a merc band with whom he's on quite good terms.

Who are your character's enemies? Does he have any? Or are enemies something that will only come in here? If so, what are your character's primary threats? Tyranids? Eldar? Mutants? Psykers?
Outside of the late Inquisitor Rammerstein and possible hostilities with the Savlar renegade band, most experience has been limited to small missions, nothing significant enough to develop real enemies or threats. However, Inquisitor Nihlus Callidon, Ordo Hereticus, has recently begun speaking out against him, questioning his methods and use of psychic abilities, despite being under scrutiny himself for suspected radicalism.

How did your character develop their psychic abilities; a special question, if your character is a wyrd or non-psychic you have one less question to answer.
He developed a few telekinetic and telepathic abilities over his childhood but, knowing the penalty for witchcraft, kept them to himself apart from the odd, subtle prank, stunting his psychic development until he was discovered and nearly crisped.

What are your character's likes and dislikes? Is he nervous of space travel? Does he hate cabbage? Does he love to drive ground cars at ludicrous speeds?
Most of the wonder that initially came of being taken to the stars has faded, but he still rather enjoys messing with people with minor psychic tricks.

What is your character's Moral Code? Where does he draw the line? Where does Radicalism or Puritanism become Heresy?
He sees himself as a puritan within reason. How extreme his methods are dependant on the importance of the mission, but he would rather cause as few casualties as possible, and would rather learn from or contain an artefact than destroy it. Of course, others see his behaviours as borderline radical.

Does your character have goals? Is he a point and shoot weapon for the hierarchy or is the vaguest hint of ork stink going to have him running off to find Orkimedes?
He's got no immediate goals other than protecting the Imperium in general. Most of what he's been engaged with recently involves minor clear-up missions following the most recent Black Crusade.

Does your character have personal beliefs? Does he follow the Imperial creed to the letter? Is he a Thorian et cetera?
He's a Thorian in principle, as was his mentor, but hasn't investigated anything relevant as of yet, and as far as creed goes, he's all for formalities and such up to the point where they keep people from doing their jobs.

Does your character have any personality quirks? Is he Arrogant? Humble? Laid back? Stressed out? Opinionated? Superstitious? Paranoid?
Out of the options? Humble yet opinionated.

How did your character become an <Inquisitor/Rogue Trader/Arbite/Whatever>?
He was discovered by Inquisitor Tybalt Garvin as a teen while he was discreetly investigating a medieval-stage world for potential psyker threat. Intending to send him to the black ships, Garvin found him to be bright and quick to learn with a significant potential, after which he began training him as an Interrogator. He was awarded the rank of Inquisitor shortly before the 13th Crusade, and inherited his mentor's belongings, including his ship, when he was killed in action during it.

How does he see his role? Is he a crusading knight? A subtle schemer? A Diplomat?
He sees himself as an arbiter who has a chance to make the grim darkness a little brighter, through non-violent and diplomatic means wherever possible.

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Sergeant Kai Andon

Ws   Bs    S    T     I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld
66   74   60  62  70   69   63   72   74

Pretty much all the stats can be justified by having been trained as a Kasrkin Sergeant and subsequently part of Inquisitorial work.

Equipment:-
Kantrael Hellpistol [Thermal Scope, Range Finder, Power Feed backpack], Chainsword, 3 Frag Grenades, 2 Smoke Grenades, Sealed Suit [helmet optional], Average Bionic Eye, Bio-Scanner, Comm-Link

Kantrael Hellpistol - Crafted with the aid of MarcoSkoll's armoury;

Type  Range  Mode   Accuracy  Damage  Shots  Reload  Encumbrance  Special
Pistol      J     Single/       -          3D6-1        8          4           20+30       Blueshift
                    Semi(2)

Abilities:-
Deadeye Shot

Powers:-
Wyrd - Distraction

Distraction - To be honest, I can't justify it and should probably ditch it.

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Kallidor's questionnaire:-


Where is your character from? Be specific, not just a planet or a city.
Kasr Gerth, Cadia. Specifically, the upper class from a nondescript dwelling.

Does your character have a family? Give details; who are they?
Not any more. Both his parents were in the military, as if the way on Cadia, and he was an only child. They never had much of a chance to become close before both were killed and their dwelling destroyed during the Crusade.

What does your character look like? Not numbers or clothing but style, looks, et cetera.
Military style, naturally. Clean-shaven and short, black hair with deep, green eyes.

How does your character dress? Does their wardrobe contain twenty identical outfits or do they have dress-up/dress-down clothes? Go mad, look in your own wardrobe for ideas.
Generally military style again. Usually dresses in guardsman fatigues in dark grey but owns a ceremonial dress uniform he used in the guard back on Cadia, a khaki/military green piece with gold trim. In combat, he wears a Kasrkin style sealed suit in Inquisitorial red and black fatigues.

Does your character have physical quirks, ticks or habits? Does he sweat profusely when nervous? Does he scratch himself in unflattering places or chew his fingernails? Has his nose been broken and never set properly?
Any fidgets or habits were disciplined out on Cadia, but part of the right side of his head and the corresponding eye are bionic; the result of a wound on a recent mission.

Where did your character learn their skills? Where did they first shoot a gun, wield a sword et cetera?
Guess.

What else does your character know, stuff that doesn't come into the combats like a passion for Terran Wines for example? Where did he learn it? How did it develop?
There wasn't much time for anything like that, and there hasn't been much since to acquire anything.


Where did he get his goodies?
Most is standard Kasrkin gear, anything else would be from the Administratum at the behest of the Inquisition.

Where does your character live? Again, be specific.
Personal quarters on the Shadow of Intent. It's a small, militarily meticulous living space with a cot the softness of lead to remind him of Cadia.

Who does your character know? Some of these may be warband members, others not. Detail them, do the twenty questions for them if you have time.
Firstly, his Inquisitorial Kasrkin unit. Other than that, his direct superior, and perhaps more, Inquisitor Ani Lycanson, Ordo Xenos, as well as some of the higher-ranking crewmen aboard the Shadow of Intent. To a lesser extent, he knows the Inquisitor's chief Engineseer, Magos Technicus Drake Feron, and he makes an effort to disassociate himself with the House Orlock Heavy "Boz". Outside of that, he's familiar with a number of higher-ranking officers in the Cadian 812th, some of whom are still alive, as well as some of the Inquisitor's acquaintances; a Savlar renegade band "Quelli Santificati" whom he disapproves of, a Valhallan spec-ops team and a merc band whose methods and morals seem quite similar to the Inquisitor's.

Who are your character's enemies? Does he have any? Or are enemies something that will only come in here? If so, what are your character's primary threats? Tyranids? Eldar? Mutants? Psykers?
His enemies are whoever his Inquisitor deems necessary, but he does harbour a personal grudge against the Black Legion for reasons made obvious.

How did your character develop their psychic abilities; a special question, if your character is a wyrd or non-psychic you have one less question to answer.
<not applicable>

What are your character's likes and dislikes? Is he nervous of space travel? Does he hate cabbage? Does he love to drive ground cars at ludicrous speeds?
For the time being he's too disciplined to let slip any such attributes.

What is your character's Moral Code? Where does he draw the line? Where does Radicalism or Puritanism become Heresy?
He follows his orders without complaint, so his personal morals are unclear. However, serving under the Inquisitor might relax his discipline in time.

Does your character have goals? Is he a point and shoot weapon for the hierarchy or is the vaguest hint of ork stink going to have him running off to find Orkimedes?
His goals are that of his superiors, but any objective that would cause a blow against Chaos, specifically the Black Legion, would meet his approval.

Does your character have personal beliefs? Does he follow the Imperial creed to the letter? Is he a Thorian et cetera?
He's a Cadian Kasrkin. Take a guess.

Does your character have any personality quirks? Is he Arrogant? Humble? Laid back? Stressed out? Opinionated? Superstitious? Paranoid?
Disciplined. Not much else is clear for the moment.

How did your character become an <Inquisitor/Rogue Trader/Arbite/Whatever>?
It's Cadia. They get drafted into the military almost immediately. Other than that, he and his unit were highly skilled at high-risk, high-reward missions, and they were noticed by the Inquisition.

How does he see his role? Is he a crusading knight? A subtle schemer? A Diplomat?
A soldier. Derp. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magos Technicus Drake Feron

Ws   Bs    S    T     I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld
65   65  140 70  74   82   97   66   72

Now I just know that's fairly overpowered, but he's intended to be equipped for utility; working as much with heavy warp engines as with more delicate tasks, and I did include his upgrades in the stat line [the majority of which are from the Building a Better Tech Priest article].

Upgrades:-
Average Bionic left arm [Strength 55, +1 left arm armour], Luminen Fist [custom Advanced Bionic Power Arm, Strength 85, +2 right arm armour, can be used to parry, grants Luminen Shock and Luminen Charge, Magnetic and Thermal Shielding, Enhanced Neural Interface], Bionic Left Hand [Magnetic and Thermal Shielding] Average Bionic Legs [+1 leg armour, +1 yard to movement rates], Bionic Head [+2 head armour, Comm-Link, Re-breather], Standard Fit Auto-Senses [Auto-Cutout, Memorance Implant], Advanced Circuitry, Memory Coils [+10 Sagacity], Standard Potentia Coil, Auto-Sanguination [+20 Toughness], Armoured Exoskeleton [+2 armour], Fire Suppression System

Shielding, Exoskeleton with other armour & Fire Suppression System - Designed for working with engines and other heavy-duty things.

Equipment:-
Plasma Cutter, Flak Gown, Servo-arm, Manipulator, Utility and Ballistic [Las-Cutter] Mechadendrites

Plasma Cutter & Las Cutter - Tools for cutting and welding...mostly;

Type  Range  Mode  Accuracy  Damage  Shots  Reload  Encumbrance  Special
Pistol     A      Single    -10%      2D10       10          4           30          Tool, Cutter
Basic      J      Single     -5%      2D6+2      20          6           45          Tool, Cutter

Tool - Can only make a ranged attack outside of close combat when set to high power.
Cutter - Blueshift by another name.

Abilities:-
Tech-Magos

Tech Magos - Grants a bonus +15% to tech tests. Probably a bit much, but character defining.

Powers:-
Energy Field, Haywire Pulse, System Shut Down

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"Boz", House Orlock Heavy

Ws   Bs    S    T     I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld
43   66   71  61  63   59   43   37   48

Nv - He'd experienced some...trauma...shortly before recruitment.

Equipment:-
Flak Armour [chest and abdomen], Autogun [Manstopper Rounds, 1 reload], Heavy Stubber [1 reload], Comm-Link

Abilities:-
Quickload, Slightly Unstable

Slightly Unstable - He has a 3% chance of acting as stunned each turn. Relates back to the unspecified trauma that shattered his nerve.

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Evidently, I've put a bit more effort into the first two; mostly because I can't think of much of a backstory for the third, and the fourth was granted to me by a GM during a mission.

Again, apologies for the length, but I would greatly appreciate constructive criticism from those with more experience.

[MarcoSkoll]

Well, going through in order:

~~~~~

Ani Lycanson:
I don't know exactly what stat levels are usual for your gaming group, but around here, 70+ on both WS and BS is not "Inquisition standards" and would be unusually high.

Similar things could be said of his Wp, Sg and Nv. There is no such thing as an Inquisition standard. Each Inquisitor and their approach is different. All will be reasonably strong willed and intelligent, but that really just means Wp and Sg of about 60 and up (most closer to 70 though).
As far as Nv, many Inquisitors will have at least some self preservation instincts, so there's no guaranteed value here.

On the note of his Ld... not all Inquisitors are brilliant leaders, don't feel you have to have any particular value.

Abilities:
I'd lose the "Psychic Natural". He's already got a good Wp and a Psi-booster, so it seems unnecessary.

The other thing is yes, "Force Shock" is very powerful. It's not a good idea to combine that kind of damage with ignoring armour.
What exactly IS Force Shock meant to be? How does it work?

Equipment: I'd say his equipment was pretty formidable. Bolt and Power weapons, along with carapace armour is going to make him very dangerous.

Two things: Firstly, you describe him as a diplomat rather than a violent type, so such nasty weapons immediately make less sense.
Secondly, anyone with such powerful psychic abilities would be likely to equip themselves more modestly - why bother with boltguns when your mind itself is such a powerful weapon?

However, Inquisitor Nihlus Callidon, Ordo Hereticus, has recently begun speaking out against him, questioning his methods and use of psychic abilities

Of course, others see his behaviours as borderline radical.

Why? What is there in the ways of a reasonably diplomatic Inquisitor to question?

Secondly, Inquisitors are permitted the use of psykers. It's quite common to assume that using psychic talents make someone Radical, but it's not actually the case - they just mean they're unlikely to be a monodominant!

If you're going to say people think he's radical, explain why.

but he still rather enjoys messing with people with minor psychic tricks.

... but continuing from above, I'm not really sure I like the idea of an Inquisitor who thinks psychic powers are a good prank. It implies they really don't realise how damning they can be, and just doesn't fit into an Inquisitor's mindset.

His current team consisting of Storm Trooper Sergeant Kai Andon, the House Orlock Heavy "Boz"

Bit of a problem here. Cadia is in the Segmentum Obscurus. Necromunda is right on the other side of the Segmentum Solar.

There's about 12,000-13,000 light years between the two, so it's very unlikely any Inquisitor would ever visit both. (Yes, we really DO pick apart your background here) I'd recommend making "Boz" a ganger from some world in the Segmentum Obscurus instead.
That would make it so your background was properly centred around the Eye of Terror. There are a lot of hive worlds resembling Necromunda, so there would be quite a few a darn sight nearer to home.

Intending to send him to the black ships, Garvin found him to be bright and quick to learn with a significant potential, after which he began training him as an Interrogator.

One of my pet peeves is when someone is immediately recruited as an Interrogator - an Inquisitor might decide someone is useful enough to keep around rather than being rid of, but that does not mean they immediately think that they're a potential Inquisitor. More likely, an Inquisitor would decide after some time that a member of their staff had the potential to be an Inquisitor, then start training them for the role.

Also, unless an Inquisitor was willing to take a lot of risks, they would still have any psyker properly sanctioned by the Black Ships.

~~~~~

Sergeant Kai Andon:

Firstly... just so happens I also have a Kasrkin Sergeant called Kai - Kai Gillmore, but still an odd coincidence. (He's not actually from Cadia though, just a world with a military structure that emulates the famous regiments of Cadia.)

Not much to say on the profile other than lose the Wyrd power. It just feels tacked on and not actually part of the character.

I can't really comment much on the background, as most of what you've written explicitly says "Generic". The problem is that you haven't really done anything to make him stand out as really worth the attention of the Inquisition, other than a brief line that said "a bit better than his comrades".

~~~~~

Not much to comment on with Drake, given the absence of background to base my critique of his stats and equipment on.

~~~~~

For Boz, how about this as a simplification of his "Slightly Unstable" rule...

Most characters get at least one action, even if their action dice come up completely failed. How about just saying that he doesn't get that guaranteed action, and if the dice come up with no successful actions, he's also stunned (perhaps always, or maybe only on a 50% chance or so)

That does increase the chances of him being ineffective a bit, but it saves on having to roll extra dice each and every turn.
(Interestingly, it also increases the chances of stunning as he takes speed penalties, which wouldn't be unrealistic. He probably would become less reliable as pain and injury started to distract him.)

[Myriad]

Marco gives a good perspective as always.   While none of the Ani Lycanson's stats are too high by themselves, he's a good example of a character that's good at everything, and also heavily equipped.  I'd drop psychic natural - his high willpower already represents his psychic ability.  The same with Drakes Tech magos ability, except with sagacity.

Going back to Ani himself, the main problem with psychic bolt is ignoring armour, but I could pick out a few more powers of similar effect from the rulebook.  I'd up the difficulty a bit at the least though.  He doesn't have many skills, but heroic is quite a big one, since it reduces the risk of bad action rolls.  I'm not clear why he's got medic either - is this just as a bonus?  Might be better given to one of his lackeys.  On the question of unsanctioned psykers, yeah, there's too many of them, and normally no particular reason why they haven't gone through the system.

As Marco says, his equipment is set up to fight a small war by himself.  Bolt carbines and power swords are both top level weaponry in inquisitor, and having these and powerful psychic abilities makes for a seriously heavy character.  At the least, I'd lose some of the specialist ammo and master crafted.  Probably I wouldn't give him a bolt carbine, but I'm guessing the model has one.

I like Kai, but I'm with Marco about his wyrd power, it feels tacked on and wyrds really aren't common.  I don't mind so much that he's generic, since presumably even the inquisition need some generic muscle on occasion.  For a right hand man though, he could use some development, but you can always play with him for a few games and develop him further later.

Drake Feron seems okay, the high strength not unusual for a heavily enhanced bionic arm, and he seems modestly equipped otherwise.  It does kind of seem as if he's enhanced mainly for construction or engineering work though, which makes me wonder how he fell in with the inquisition (lots of possibilities).

Boz.  It's always fun to have a few low nerve characters running around.  The cast of inquisitor games often seem to take an awful lot in their stride.  Marco's suggested modification to the unstable rule would remove the need for an extra dice roll, which is always good.

[MarcoSkoll]

I don't mind so much that he's generic, since presumably even the inquisition need some generic muscle on occasion.

Yeah, but while often, the Inquisition is just looking for "a soldier that knows his job and does it well" (and let's be honest, there's quite a lot of that in my own Kai), Inquisitor is a game of personalities.
I'll echo what I just said in Elva's thread: A good main character is one whose story you want to hear the rest of.

And a Kasrkin who is pretty hard to tell from the basic stereotype isn't going to make a character whose story is going to be particularly riveting - even his basic likes and dislikes are omitted. His job as a character seems to be "stoic soldier" and his motivations seem to be "what the Inquisitor tells me to do".

What makes his life/death more interesting/important than any other Kasrkin?

[Flinty]

I think most of the points have already been covered by Marco and Myriad, but they did forget one thing,
Welcome to the Conclave

More semantics than anything else, why is Drake a Magos? His position suggests a senior Engineseer or junior Adept at most; I can't see any reason in the fluff as to why a senior member of the Mechanicus would be acting so far below his station. His Sg certainly suggests considerable experience, but that doesnt necessarily have to be converted into a high rank - it could add a couple of hooks to his background. Did he fall out with a powerful faction on his forge world? did he lose/was abandoned by his Explorator fleet? Is there something unusual about  the Shadow of Intent? Is he just an egotistical Tech-Priest bluffing his way about?

He also seems to have developed his combat abilities compared with his colleagues - due to his shennanigans with Inquisitor Garvin no doubt? Im personally not overly keen on the use of cutting tools doubling as weapons. He has a mechdendrite fitted with a las-cutter, so far so good as it has the standard drawbacks associated with having a dual role; but the plasma cutter looks like an attempt to have a plasma weapon with no risky action attached. His stats suggest he knows a bit about combat and would appreciate something that is specifically designed as a weapon, surely he could gain access to something (and tinker with it if you fancy the idea) if he wanted?

[Frostspear]

Welcome to the Conclave

Ah, thanks. 
Now, let it not be said that I don't heed advice and criticism:

Ani Lycanson:
I don't know exactly what stat levels are usual for your gaming group, but around here, 70+ on both WS and BS is not "Inquisition standards" and would be unusually high.

Similar things could be said of his Wp, Sg and Nv. There is no such thing as an Inquisition standard. Each Inquisitor and their approach is different. All will be reasonably strong willed and intelligent, but that really just means Wp and Sg of about 60 and up (most closer to 70 though).
As far as Nv, many Inquisitors will have at least some self preservation instincts, so there's no guaranteed value here.

On the note of his Ld... not all Inquisitors are brilliant leaders, don't feel you have to have any particular value.

Marco gives a good perspective as always.   While none of the Ani Lycanson's stats are too high by themselves, he's a good example of a character that's good at everything, and also heavily equipped.

It's a new, inexperienced group, and we were mostly using the templates in the rulebook and the Conclave Standard character thread as a guide. Evidently, the rulebook is too high and I overshot.

Ws - 66, Bs - 68, Wp - 78, Sg - 72, Nv - 67, Ld - 71

Abilities:
I'd lose the "Psychic Natural". He's already got a good Wp and a Psi-booster, so it seems unnecessary.

I'd drop psychic natural - his high willpower already represents his psychic ability. The same with Drakes Tech magos ability, except with sagacity.

Both removed.

Going back to Ani himself,  He doesn't have many skills, but heroic is quite a big one, since it reduces the risk of bad action rolls.  I'm not clear why he's got medic either - is this just as a bonus?  Might be better given to one of his lackeys.

As if I need any worse luck with dice rolls, but Heroic is removed. Medic, and by extension, the med skull, was intended to tie in with the preferably non-violent attribute, and it doesn't really translate well to any other current members.

The other thing is yes, "Force Shock" is very powerful. It's not a good idea to combine that kind of damage with ignoring armour.
What exactly IS Force Shock meant to be? How does it work?

the main problem with psychic bolt is ignoring armour, but I could pick out a few more powers of similar effect from the rulebook.  I'd up the difficulty a bit at the least though.

It's meant to be a kinetic blast. As such, piercing properties have been removed and damage reduced to 2D6+2.

Equipment: I'd say his equipment was pretty formidable. Bolt and Power weapons, along with carapace armour is going to make him very dangerous.

Two things: Firstly, you describe him as a diplomat rather than a violent type, so such nasty weapons immediately make less sense.
Secondly, anyone with such powerful psychic abilities would be likely to equip themselves more modestly - why bother with boltguns when your mind itself is such a powerful weapon?

As Marco says, his equipment is set up to fight a small war by himself.  Bolt carbines and power swords are both top level weaponry in inquisitor, and having these and powerful psychic abilities makes for a seriously heavy character.  At the least, I'd lose some of the specialist ammo and master crafted.  Probably I wouldn't give him a bolt carbine, but I'm guessing the model has one.

My conversion skills don't allow a significantly different ranged weapon, and I don't have the parts to replace one, but the sword is far from distinguishable and, as such, can be replaced with a regular one. The master craft and inferno ammo has been removed.

As far as diplomacy goes, it's the preferable option only until it's not viable any more. Plus, most, if not all, of what he's been involved in so far involves combat, and it's been known beforehand.

As far as the aether goes, the warp is dangerous. If you can do something the mundane way, it's probably preferable to do so.

However, Inquisitor Nihlus Callidon, Ordo Hereticus, has recently begun speaking out against him, questioning his methods and use of psychic abilities

Of course, others see his behaviours as borderline radical.

Why? What is there in the ways of a reasonably diplomatic Inquisitor to question?

Secondly, Inquisitors are permitted the use of psykers. It's quite common to assume that using psychic talents make someone Radical, but it's not actually the case - they just mean they're unlikely to be a monodominant!

If you're going to say people think he's radical, explain why.

It was mostly a last minute attempt to form some sort of nemesis. I know that psyker=/=Radical, but I'm sure there is at least the occasional jerk on the far side of Puritan who disagrees.

but he still rather enjoys messing with people with minor psychic tricks.

... but continuing from above, I'm not really sure I like the idea of an Inquisitor who thinks psychic powers are a good prank. It implies they really don't realise how damning they can be, and just doesn't fit into an Inquisitor's mindset.

Noted. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but I'll remove it.

His current team consisting of Storm Trooper Sergeant Kai Andon, the House Orlock Heavy "Boz"

Bit of a problem here. Cadia is in the Segmentum Obscurus. Necromunda is right on the other side of the Segmentum Solar.

There's about 12,000-13,000 light years between the two, so it's very unlikely any Inquisitor would ever visit both. (Yes, we really DO pick apart your background here) I'd recommend making "Boz" a ganger from some world in the Segmentum Obscurus instead.
That would make it so your background was properly centred around the Eye of Terror. There are a lot of hive worlds resembling Necromunda, so there would be quite a few a darn sight nearer to home.

That's what I said, but it wasn't my idea. Now replaced with...some other world, not sure yet.

Intending to send him to the black ships, Garvin found him to be bright and quick to learn with a significant potential, after which he began training him as an Interrogator.

One of my pet peeves is when someone is immediately recruited as an Interrogator - an Inquisitor might decide someone is useful enough to keep around rather than being rid of, but that does not mean they immediately think that they're a potential Inquisitor. More likely, an Inquisitor would decide after some time that a member of their staff had the potential to be an Inquisitor, then start training them for the role.

Also, unless an Inquisitor was willing to take a lot of risks, they would still have any psyker properly sanctioned by the Black Ships.

On the question of unsanctioned psykers, yeah, there's too many of them, and normally no particular reason why they haven't gone through the system.

My fault for not being clear; he didn't go straight to Interrogator, rather he would have served on the team for a period, probably in a role similar to Zaed in the Ravenor novels.

As for the risks...er...can't really think of a clever way around it to be honest...suggestions would be helpful. 

Sergeant Kai Andon:

Firstly... just so happens I also have a Kasrkin Sergeant called Kai - Kai Gillmore, but still an odd coincidence. (He's not actually from Cadia though, just a world with a military structure that emulates the famous regiments of Cadia.)

Heh...well, I'm not familiar with your characters, and assure you it was purely a coincidence.

Not much to say on the profile other than lose the Wyrd power. It just feels tacked on and not actually part of the character.

I like Kai, but I'm with Marco about his wyrd power, it feels tacked on and wyrds really aren't common.

Agreed and removed.

I can't really comment much on the background, as most of what you've written explicitly says "Generic". The problem is that you haven't really done anything to make him stand out as really worth the attention of the Inquisition, other than a brief line that said "a bit better than his comrades".

I don't mind so much that he's generic, since presumably even the inquisition need some generic muscle on occasion.  For a right hand man though, he could use some development, but you can always play with him for a few games and develop him further later.

Yeah, but while often, the Inquisition is just looking for "a soldier that knows his job and does it well" (and let's be honest, there's quite a lot of that in my own Kai), Inquisitor is a game of personalities.
I'll echo what I just said in Elva's thread: A good main character is one whose story you want to hear the rest of.

And a Kasrkin who is pretty hard to tell from the basic stereotype isn't going to make a character whose story is going to be particularly riveting - even his basic likes and dislikes are omitted. His job as a character seems to be "stoic soldier" and his motivations seem to be "what the Inquisitor tells me to do".

What makes his life/death more interesting/important than any other Kasrkin?

I had fully intended to start off as generic muscle and allow the character to develop naturally. Whether it'll work or not is another matter.

Not much to comment on with Drake, given the absence of background to base my critique of his stats and equipment on.

Drake Feron seems okay, the high strength not unusual for a heavily enhanced bionic arm, and he seems modestly equipped otherwise.  It does kind of seem as if he's enhanced mainly for construction or engineering work though, which makes me wonder how he fell in with the inquisition (lots of possibilities).

More semantics than anything else, why is Drake a Magos? His position suggests a senior Engineseer or junior Adept at most; I can't see any reason in the fluff as to why a senior member of the Mechanicus would be acting so far below his station. His Sg certainly suggests considerable experience, but that doesnt necessarily have to be converted into a high rank - it could add a couple of hooks to his background. Did he fall out with a powerful faction on his forge world? did he lose/was abandoned by his Explorator fleet? Is there something unusual about  the Shadow of Intent? Is he just an egotistical Tech-Priest bluffing his way about?

He also seems to have developed his combat abilities compared with his colleagues - due to his shennanigans with Inquisitor Garvin no doubt? Im personally not overly keen on the use of cutting tools doubling as weapons. He has a mechdendrite fitted with a las-cutter, so far so good as it has the standard drawbacks associated with having a dual role; but the plasma cutter looks like an attempt to have a plasma weapon with no risky action attached. His stats suggest he knows a bit about combat and would appreciate something that is specifically designed as a weapon, surely he could gain access to something (and tinker with it if you fancy the idea) if he wanted?

Does natural character development work in reverse? Gradually learning the backstory? If so, I fully intend for that to happen, and had intended such all along. *cough*

Oh, and with regards to the plasma cutter, I had no intention of bypassing weapon failures. Just another case of not making myself clear again. I'll look at getting a proper weapon.

For Boz, how about this as a simplification of his "Slightly Unstable" rule...

Most characters get at least one action, even if their action dice come up completely failed. How about just saying that he doesn't get that guaranteed action, and if the dice come up with no successful actions, he's also stunned (perhaps always, or maybe only on a 50% chance or so)

That does increase the chances of him being ineffective a bit, but it saves on having to roll extra dice each and every turn.
(Interestingly, it also increases the chances of stunning as he takes speed penalties, which wouldn't be unrealistic. He probably would become less reliable as pain and injury started to distract him.)

Boz.  It's always fun to have a few low nerve characters running around.  The cast of inquisitor games often seem to take an awful lot in their stride.  Marco's suggested modification to the unstable rule would remove the need for an extra dice roll, which is always good.

Good idea, noted and applied.

Well, that was good. All feedback was greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to help a little newbie. 

[GAZKUL]

i told you putting this guy on the clave would be a good idea

suggestion for the avoidance of the black ships: He might have been capture by pirates when he was young and imprisoned to be released when his mentor during a pirate hunting session. 

[MarcoSkoll]

As for the risks...er...can't really think of a clever way around it to be honest...suggestions would be helpful. 

There's no real reason to need to avoid the Blackships. With the power of the Inquisition, they can easily take a psyker and order the Adeptus Astra Telepathica to make sure they have the proper training and testing then ship them back after they're done.

In many cases, the Inquisition's mark upon the the associated orders and paperwork might well ensure that the psyker went through the system a lot faster than normal - doubly so as most psykers the Inquisition might take an interest in are probably the more stable and naturally skilled ones.

Dark Heresy tends to increase the age of any psyker by 3D10 years for the time taken for the sanctioning (It can take a LONG time to get through the system!) but these are unimportant psykers who may have to sit around in the hull of a Blackship for decades while it trawls a sector picking up a full "cargo" before taking them for sanctioning - and then have to wait for the actual processes.
An Inquisitor could make sure that their pet psyker got an express trip and rapid assessment. It would probably still take at least a year or three, but a LOT less time than most. Aside from those actually picked out from a Blackship haul, that's what I do for most of the psykers I write.

It's meant to be a kinetic blast.

I see. I wondered if "Shock" was meant to refer to some kind of  lightning (like the Emperor in Star Wars).

[Frostspear]

With regards to the Blackship idea...

Fantastic. 

My knowledge of the Adeptus Astra Telepathica is sadly lacking and I would never have come up with that.

Would you mind terribly if I...er, commandeer the idea? With an appropriate reference, of course.

[Alta]

Here are some of the other characters from the gaming group:
http://www.the-conclave.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=1019.0
http://www.the-conclave.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=1071.0

Also Frostspear, is that symbol in your avatar Lycanson's personal symbol?
I was just wondering as it is the one on his shoulder pad.

Also, Happy Birthday Marco!

[MarcoSkoll]

Would you mind terribly if I...er, commandeer the idea?

Feel free. I'm not even sure how much of the idea is mine anyway.

Also, Happy Birthday Marco!

I see someone's being paying attention to their deviantART messages.

[Frostspear]

Also Frostspear, is that symbol in your avatar Lycanson's personal symbol?
I was just wondering as it is the one on his shoulder pad.

That was the intention.

Thanks again for the help to everybody and happy birthday Marco.