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The Circles of the Wise(OOC)

Started by Dolnikan, March 24, 2011, 02:36:50 PM

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Dolnikan

Hello everyone,

I am new to the Conclave but not new to Inquisitor, I decided to try and write a little something myself. I apologise for my bad english, I'm not very good with languages and it isn't my first.

The Circles of the Wise is about  an acolyte who has been sent to infiltrate a cult. She is a moderately powerful psyker who specializes in shapeshifting.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Dolnikan

I have just posted another piece, please comment on it so I could make it less painful to read.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Zephon

Interesting - I was expecting an infiltration story right up until the end of the second post, what with the seemingly perfect disguise and extensive preparation. It was a real surprise when everything fell to bits. Are we going to hear more about the Circles of the Wise and whatever they're up to?

Dolnikan

There will certainly be more on the circles, I just have to write some more before I get back to them.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Dolnikan

I have posted another part, I really hope that people aren't being bored to death by my bad writing.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Consulaire


Torerador

I have certainly enjoyed it. Keep writing!!

Dolnikan

Hello everyone!

After a long time I finally got the time to write something again, I hope you like it.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Draco Ferox

I am liking it so far. Personally, I don't find it painful to read at all, and in fact, it's written in a much better way than many of the people I know would write.

Keep it up, and I'll stay waiting for the next installment.
Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

MarcoSkoll

The writing is good, so don't take this as a criticism of the actual content - but this is somewhat awkward to read, as solid block of texts without paragraphs usually are.

Breaking it up into paragraphs to make it easier on the eye would probably mean more people would take the time to read your work.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Dolnikan

I have posted another piece. It took a while to find the energy to write it. I also rearranged the older bits to be more readable.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Dolnikan

I posted another update, please comment, I'm sure that there is a lot left to be improved on.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

MEHughes

Really liking this Dolnikan, looking forward to further updates :)

Dolnikan

Thanks, I finally got to update again, I had a part of this already and completed it with my fevered brain. I hope that it is at least half decent.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Dolnikan

And another small update, I have the feeling that inspiration is returning to me.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.