Author Topic: Defiant Echoes: OOC  (Read 37033 times)

Online MarcoSkoll

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #480 on: December 16, 2012, 06:07:35 PM »
Actually, I guess I have at least one more question. Have we determined which way Saithvairg turns*?
*Although personally I think my favoured way to define cardinal directions is that a planet's east is the way it turns, I know not everyone will want to agree.

I know you said (although only OOC, I think) we were travelling west, but if we've got flexibility on either that or where the sun is rising, there's a section that would work better if the convoy is travelling towards the sun.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

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Offline Koval

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #481 on: December 16, 2012, 06:23:24 PM »
I haven't given that any thought -- if you'd like to give it a clockwise rotation, then that's fine.


EDIT: I've got to work out where all my notes went now -- I have some rough ideas for what's supposed to happen (which mostly centre around people dying and Tyra surviving -- a foregone conclusion given her attendance at the Twin Arches), but the specifics escaped me many beers ago and I've now got to hunt around.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2012, 07:49:59 PM by Koval »

Online MarcoSkoll

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #482 on: December 17, 2012, 04:57:31 AM »
Don't rush to find them. As I earlier alluded to, I'm not very happy with what I wrote before - not the actual storyboard in my head, that's fine, but the actual way I've put those scenes into words.

It's actually tricky to make it read interestingly as a scene. There's several protagonists and an antagonist who all have plot armour, so there's a challenge in getting it to read as something other than a lot of impotent flailing.

Agares, for example, can't really do more damage than mess up the vehicles/scenery, kill the voidsmen or slam around Steren - there's not really a lot of room for him to plausibly only inflict flesh wounds on the other characters.
(At a pinch, I guess Steren could fix up more serious injuries, but I really don't want her to be a walking deus ex machina*).

*As I may have already said, I think she's only not the most powerful character I've written because of how the M44 version of Jax Lynn is intended to be.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

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Offline Koval

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #483 on: December 17, 2012, 06:28:38 AM »
The plot armour is slowly disappearing -- feel free to beat up Agares as much as is necessary.

That said, you do have a point, if only because hellblades don't tend to "only inflict flesh wounds". :P

Online MarcoSkoll

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #484 on: April 07, 2013, 03:11:42 AM »
OMGWTFBBQ. Marco actually finishes that update he said he was going to.

I don't hugely like what I've written (it feels off to me), and I'm expecting this probably stalled for so long it crashed into the ground - but I've at least done it now.

Some notes:
- B flat
- Yes, I'm deliberately vague about how Agares disappeared.
- This is Jael having one of his "out of character" moments - in this case, he's manifesting some of the far more confident personality from the engrams of his predecessor.
- F natural
- Might explain plan Theta in character later, but it's basically shorthand for "I've got an idea, read my mind".
- C7 chord
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

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Offline Koval

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #485 on: April 08, 2013, 05:27:59 PM »
And to think that on the train back from Bristol earlier, I was pondering whether I should actually do an After Hours style "conclusion", but this is certainly encouraging, and we may finally get round to why Tyra Vargas is alive and well as a 54mm figure :P

As it is, I've simply forgotten how to write as anyone in this RP that isn't either Hesh, Fabian, or Tyra.

EDIT: A quick look at Dolnikan's profile suggests he's been inactive for a month, for whatever it's worth.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2013, 05:37:28 PM by Koval »

Online MarcoSkoll

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #486 on: April 08, 2013, 06:19:16 PM »
I suspect I've probably messed up some of the characters because of the long delay, but I just decided to finish writing it even if it wasn't quite pitch perfect.

I've missed writing somewhat and, while I'm working on a short story for Clepsydra and may one day progress Ad Vitam Aeternam more, this was really what needed doing.

And that's even if I really fancied writing something for Gala, having been re-watching Eccleston-era Doctor Who recently. (Given he's one of the influences on her personality.)
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

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Online MarcoSkoll

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #487 on: April 13, 2013, 03:10:02 AM »
Following your Skype notes, a couple of details have been changed.

--Agares' sword needs to be referenced some time before he starts chopping up the half track
Done. Andreas now almost mistakes the grenade launcher's muzzle flash for the sun glinting off the brandished sword.

--you mention Steren having suddenly grown claws, has she suddenly outgrown her boots?
Made clearer that the claws have punctured her boots.

--At what point does Steren work out that Agares is not, in fact, a World Eater?
Their final conversation has been adjusted to make it clear she has noticed. As for when, given she's a telepath, she probably noticed fairly fast after getting into close proximity with him.

--Where is Steren while Iota's shredding the half-track with the heavy bolter?
Made clearer that they're taking cover as best they can behind Agares and what remains of the cab.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Offline Koval

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #488 on: April 13, 2013, 07:00:56 AM »
Cool beans. I may get an update of my own going this weekend, but it does depend massively on whether I can remember where the story was supposed to go from here.

Which is, of course, to say that I'd planned out all of the major scenes, but very little to link them.

Offline Koval

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #489 on: May 19, 2013, 08:08:10 AM »
As Marco is aware, I've unfortunately decided to pull the plug on Defiant Echoes. Basically, when the story lost momentum, I ended up getting my ideas in a knot, and when Marco posted I'd just lost track of where I was even going.

Marco already knows the end result, but it's better to wrap it up at this point, so the short version is:
--Agares (having survived falling off the motorway) fights, and kills, Sonneillon in Stonechapel
--Steren encounters the Ancient, and the two end up killing each other
--Haines et al encounter the Nemurax entity in the centre of Stonechapel; so does Agares (who gets curb-stomped by Haines). Zagan leaves the grand cruiser to investigate personally.
--Zagan discovers that the original Nemurax entity is long gone; the thing in front of him is no longer what he sought. Cue bloodbath as Zagan immolates the Nemurax entity, returns to his ship (with Agares) and starts lasering Stonechapel.
--Cue two simultaneous escape scenes, one for Haines and co, the other for Andreas and co. (Semplice et al can probably make their escape at this point.)
--Enter Inquisitor Gelert Hesh and a Naval task force. Hesh decides that the only way to stop Zagan for sure is to kill him personally.
--Cue space battle as cover for a boarding action. In the process, Tyra Vargas' ship gets enslaved, but Tyra destroys her ship's thrusters to spite Zagan and ends up ramming him through momentum alone. Tyra escapes.
--Hesh kills Agares with his bolt pistol** when Agares takes too long challenging Haines to a duel.
--Most of the Storm Troopers and Naval armsmen that Hesh brought along are spaced when Zagan plays with the airlocks, but named characters make it to the bridge.
--Zagan enslaves Haines' bionics and uses him to kill rather a lot of people. Hesh tackles him to the ground; in an attempt to kill Hesh, Zagan kills Haines instead.
--At some point, Riley is killed in action.
--Zagan is overpowered through force of arms (and trickery when Andreas picks up Haines' plasma pistol), and is executed by Hesh.
--Cue escape scene as the grand cruiser is shot out of orbit and crashes into Sathvairg. Its Warp drive implodes, taking most of the planet with it.

Not the most satisfying summary of events, but the version I sent to Marco ended up spanning two private messages as we tried to ascertain who was, and wasn't, alive, and I still felt I could've said more. Haines, Riley, and Steren* died; Herald and Dolnikan's characters survived (unless they say otherwise); the Chaos characters are all very dead; and Sathvairg itself is at best a Shattered World or asteroid field.

Tyra's survival leads into a court-martial, then a pardon by Hesh, then the Twin Arches campaign at WHW last December; Andreas' survival will eventually result in a model.


*She did end up turning into a major character in her own right, if only because she was just really powerful. Even so, she had to ramp her power level all the way up to go toe-to-toe with the Ancient; Marco and I decided between us that this resulted in a Heroic RROD.
**Hesh now has a bolt pistol to avoid a conflict between two similar characters.
« Last Edit: June 10, 2013, 07:30:06 AM by Koval »

Online MarcoSkoll

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Re: Defiant Echoes: OOC
« Reply #490 on: May 19, 2013, 11:37:39 PM »
It was a little depressing to kill off quite so many characters quite so summarily, but many of mine didn't really have anywhere to go.

Riley had a large part of her personality recycled into another character (before I suddenly had a use for her again), and Steren turned out far too powerful*. In the great scheme of things, she rather had to go for the sake of my not being tempted to use her again.

*I'd favour very few of my other characters' chances in a fight . With prior warning and perhaps some help, maybe a couple of them could get lucky... but really, the only characters I'd give more than a paltry chance are Maya Avens**, Jax Lynn (in her even further future incarnation) and Leander.
And really, when I can only give decent odds*** to a single character that isn't either an immortal (who won't even reach the necessary potential for hundreds of years) or a titan... I probably overdid it.

**If you're wondering, Maya's best shot would probably be pyrokinetically incinerating Steren's head.
*** And if you're wondering who'd be the first of the runners up, probably Inquisitor Skoll. Laevateinn can slay daemons, and it's just as effective at cutting any other kind of warp hardened flesh - but it would rather rely on getting a good hit before she twigged.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles