A gripe -how does Goruvich know Sonneillon is blind? He's been wearing his helmet - his relatively clumsy swipes might betray his sightlessness, but with his armour and helm he doesn't look or even move like he's blind.
Honestly, I thought Agares had said something to Goruvich in one of our posts, but I'll fix it as apparently that wasn't the case. (EDIT: A surprisingly easy fix.)
Also Sonnillon tastes brick dust at one point...
Doh, oversight. The brick dust thing was purely because I couldn't properly describe the Ancient as bursting through the wall, owing to Sonneillon being unable to see it. Although that leaves me wondering how else to show how the Ancient got there. (EDIT: Deleted the brick dust thing, although now the broken wall thing has a potential ambiguity in it. Still trying to work out how to resolve
this in such a way that Sonneillon knows it's happened, without describing the sight or apparently taste of it.)
I assume this unsubtle joke is the 300 reference?
Which either went exactly as you'd expect, or backfired, depending on who fell in the river (you know who did but others don't)
I want to give Marco a chance to recover from the IGT (well done mate).
I am now back on the move with working on the plot I've got.
I've got an idea, but before I drop it into the story and someone thinks it's a stupid idea I've pulled from my backside, would anyone object to Riley using some of the anti-telepathic techniques she knows to stave off some of the concussion's effects, at least for short periods of time? After all, you could imagine that such techniques are often to do with gathering and focusing the mind, not un-useful traits here.
She's been written a lot more out of the story with her blow to the head (which I imagine Steren will eventually fix more permanently, but the two are not anywhere near each other right now) than I expected, so I think at least some excuse for marginal competence is needed.
Go for it. I didn't intend to write her out of the story as severely as that (in fact all I'd intended was for Haines to knock her down -- the concussion was your own addition which I think we just rolled with as it made sense), but until Riley and Steren meet up again, anything's going to help.
I'd imagine the effects have diminished sufficiently for it to work, anyway.