Inquisitor Anatolear Cordatus

[Metellus]

Well, having been inducted into Inquisitor by a couple of friends with the promise of a campaign to divert me from exam revision, I've been working on the first drafts of the warband I'll be using. Here's the first character I'll be using (note - I'm using the Conclave stat guidelines as a relative indicator; they might change once I get an idea of relative power levels in the rest of the gaming group)

Inquisitor Anatolear Cordatus
WS - 57
BS - 71
S - 53
T - 51
I - 70
Wp - 74
Sg - 78
Nv - 66
Ld - 69
Spd - 5
Hand - Right

Equipment: Compact Revolver with 15 Manstopper Shells, Needle Rifle with 12 Explosive Needles and 6 Stun Needles, Wrist-spring Wracksword (see below), hooded mesh greatocat (AV3) on all locations, displacer field, advanced bionic eye with thermal scope and motion predictor, web grenade, boot-knife.
Skills: Dodge, Medic (because sometimes he might want to keep someone he's wounded alive - for questioning, maybe?)

Wrist-spring Wracksword - A customised weapon that Cordatus crafted himself from his childhood practice blade and a Dark Eldar Agoniser looted from a dead Haemonculus, it is widely considered to be about as precious to Cordatus as an STC is to a Tech-Priest.
Wrist-sping: Counts as having the First Strike skill.
Wracksword: Reach 2, 4D6 damage, -15%PP

The basic backstory is that he was the son of a noble family on an as of yet unnamed hive world who had his eye put out by his father's bodyguard (a ganger from the lower hives who was disgusted by the man's treatment of the lower classes and decided to take revenge). The eye was replaced with the best bionic money could buy, and little more was thought of it, seeing as even Cordatus had no idea of its mechanical nature. Then, he finds out his eye is a bionic, asks why he has one, finds out, steals a revolver and goes off to take revenge. Unfortunately for him, he almost gets shot to pieces, before being dragged back to his house by a bounty hunter thinking he can get some reward money for returning a nobleman (he ends up getting a shotgun shell to the face as Cordatus's father had assumed he had been kidnapped, but that's besides the point). Despite his father's best efforts, Cordatus keeps going down to the underhive to continue his little vendetta, and is eventually gifted with some better weapons and armour, including an heirloom displacer field (the theory being that if he's going to go down there so often he might as well not get killed while he's doing it).

After a few years of doing this, he stumbles across some Dark Eldar slavers who have been stealing the toughest gangers, pitting them against each other and taking the survivors on as gladiators for Commorragh and ends up attacking them - they're taking away his sport! Luckily for him, Inquisitor Nereus Castor of the Ordo Xenos turns up, having been hunting the aliens for a few months, and promptly begins purging the scum, aided in no small part by Cordatus (who Castor assumes had been tracking the Dark Eldar having heard word of the disappearing gangers). Eventually, all the Dark Eldar are killed, including a Haemonculus whose Agoniser Cordatus promptly loots while no-one is looking, and is taken on as an Acolyte by the impressed Castor. Sooner or later, he gets promoted to full Inquisitor after some cult purging (I might tie this in with a certain Daemonhost by the name of Legion that my friend's been writing rules for - although, having heard tales of just how powerful it might end up being, I wouldn't fancy his chances without a convenient plot hook/psycannon   ), and goes off hunting the alien and whatnot, as you do. Beyond that, I have nothing, but I'll come up with something sooner or later.
A full background and a model for him shall be done soon (in a few days for the former, by the end of the month for the latter) as well as stats and background for the rest of the warband.
Feel free to comment, any feedback is appreciated.

[Inquisitor Cade]

I like the back story. It makes me feel that if this guy ever turned to radical or heretical behavior he would be whistling nonchalantly while doing it.

I might have averaged out the Ws and Bs a bit but if he has a considerable preference for shooting that isn't covered in the fluff then I'd say you've got the stats right.
In fact I'd say all the stats are at an appropriate level, impressive if this is your first character. The only exception is the Nv. If this guy was picking on gangster from the age he could recognise his own eye as bionic, and was not dissuaded by repeatedly being nearly killed, I'd say his Nv would be one of his strongest stats by a long way.

Is the mesh greatcoat supposed to be as good as a set of mesh body armour. I'd say that in coat form it would not mach up to say, a mesh breastplate, so would suggest representing it as AV 3. Also it claims to cover his head. Is that correct?

Is the revolver supposed to have 18 manstoppers or 6 manstoppers and 12 normal rounds? If the former why not just have a bigger revolver, say an auto-magnum? Similarly is the needle rifle reload explosive darts?
As he has a needle rifle I'd expect him to carry some stun poison shots, as they would be very useful to him and as he has the rifle already wouldn't be much of a burden.

[Metellus]

I like the back story. It makes me feel that if this guy ever turned to radical or heretical behavior he would be whistling nonchalantly while doing it.

I might have averaged out the Ws and Bs a bit but if he has a considerable preference for shooting that isn't covered in the fluff then I'd say you've got the stats right.
In fact I'd say all the stats are at an appropriate level, impressive if this is your first character. The only exception is the Nv. If this guy was picking on gangster from the age he could recognise his own eye as bionic, and was not dissuaded by repeatedly being nearly killed, I'd say his Nv would be one of his strongest stats by a long way.

Is the mesh greatcoat supposed to be as good as a set of mesh body armour. I'd say that in coat form it would not mach up to say, a mesh breastplate, so would suggest representing it as AV 3. Also it claims to cover his head. Is that correct?

Is the revolver supposed to have 18 manstoppers or 6 manstoppers and 12 normal rounds? If the former why not just have a bigger revolver, say an auto-magnum? Similarly is the needle rifle reload explosive darts?
As he has a needle rifle I'd expect him to carry some stun poison shots, as they would be very useful to him and as he has the rifle already wouldn't be much of a burden.

To the first part: Now there's a thought... although I'll probably keep him Puritan for now (might as well put him down as an Amalthian; I don't really like the other two puritan philosophies). Maybe in a later incarnation.

To the second part: Yep, he does, should've put that in there. It's basically because seeing as he's basically me in model form, and I'm not the 'ARGBLARGHITWITHSWORD/BLUNTOBJECT' type, he'd probably rather simple pop people's heads from a distance (which gives him plenty of time to laugh at the corpse before the guy's charging friends get near his position). That's also the reason for the lower Nv, seeing as I'm a cowardiceaholic (I can't live without cowardiceahol!).

To the third part: It is (I would imagine that a noble family would be able to afford a decent set of armour that maintains the outward appearance of a regular coat - good for protecting against assassins and such), but AV3 seems more accurate. And yes, it does, I plan on modelling on a hood, just because he's learned from the mistakes of almost every Inquisitor suffering from bullet/chainaxe-to-the-head syndrome and decided he doesn't want to go the same way.

To the fourth part: Yes, but technically 15 rounds (5 round mag for the compact revolver), and same for the needle rifle. And the reason for the smaller revolver is a mixture of concealableness (in case he neds to blend in with the common folk - having spent a while in the underhive, I'd imagine he'd be quite proficient) and I also want to keep the theme of subtlety going (silenced needle rifle, concealed blade and so on). I might mix and match a bit, although I do have a plan for a toxin-based character later on so I don't want to be duplicating the whole poison thing.

Thanks for the feedback

[Inquisitor Cade]

I'm not saying he sounds, or should be, radical, just that he seems shifty, the whole 'looting when noone is looking' thing and mocking his shooting victims, even if that was just a jest.

I was meaning more tranq darts than poison, 'stun' is just a mode of representing it.

[Metellus]

I'm not saying he sounds, or should be, radical, just that he seems shifty, the whole 'looting when noone is looking' thing and mocking his shooting victims, even if that was just a jest.

It really wasn't

Liking the tranq darts idea, I shall edit it now.

[Brother_Brimstone]

I may be wrong, but it seems a bit out of character to me to have a haemonculus just knocking about on a hive world with a couple of other DE. The DE generally take their prisoners in big raids, they find a vulnerable target and hit it, maximising the amount of people they can take alive. If the planet's defences are such that DE can get onto it, why aren't they mounting a more large-scale raid? If the planet's defences are tight, how did a few DE get into the Hive. It just seems really out of character for the DE to me. It's not that they CAN'T just land a few guys on an imperial world - just that they wouldn't. Bear in mind a haemonculus is a very high position for the DE, why would he volunteer himself into such a dangerous position?

It may just be me, and i'm prepared to be wrong, but i'm fairly well versed with the (rather limited) fluff about the DE (being an ex DE collector), and something about that behaviour just doesn't feel quite right to me.

I like the character, and he definitely has the feel of someone very involved with the DE, seemingly showing many of the DE's traits himself (e.g. taking people alive, using agonisers and needlers etc...), it has the feel of a man drawn to persecute a being so similar to he himself - hypocrisy is always a fun character trait for those observing!

[Gnaeus Conlitor]

Haemonculi are very independant sorts. I can definately see one poping into a border world with a small bodyguard with the hope of nabbing a few subjects for their latest experiments. Perhaps the whole world is in the pay of the Haemonculous or a human proxy. Better hope that Conlitor never finds out if it is he's been itching to call an Exterminatus for some time now!

[Metellus]

I may be wrong, but it seems a bit out of character to me to have a haemonculus just knocking about on a hive world with a couple of other DE. The DE generally take their prisoners in big raids, they find a vulnerable target and hit it, maximising the amount of people they can take alive. If the planet's defences are such that DE can get onto it, why aren't they mounting a more large-scale raid? If the planet's defences are tight, how did a few DE get into the Hive. It just seems really out of character for the DE to me. It's not that they CAN'T just land a few guys on an imperial world - just that they wouldn't. Bear in mind a haemonculus is a very high position for the DE, why would he volunteer himself into such a dangerous position?

It may just be me, and i'm prepared to be wrong, but i'm fairly well versed with the (rather limited) fluff about the DE (being an ex DE collector), and something about that behaviour just doesn't feel quite right to me.

I like the character, and he definitely has the feel of someone very involved with the DE, seemingly showing many of the DE's traits himself (e.g. taking people alive, using agonisers and needlers etc...), it has the feel of a man drawn to persecute a being so similar to he himself - hypocrisy is always a fun character trait for those observing!

Well, I assumed the risk would be the reward (MOAR SOULS TO FEAST UPON!) but I thought Haemonculi were quite common, so I'm probably wrong (I usually am. Occupational hazard of lunacy).
And I'm thinking about writing up the hive world as somewhere to coreward, away from most major threats (emphasis on most - I might put Cordatus in an awkward little dilemna by making him go back and lead the common folk to victory against some random DE incursion... would he be able to resist the urge to stab a few followers? I think not).
That honestly hadn't occured to me, and now I want to give him a Stinger

[Inquisitor Cade]

Thinking about it, I agree that while a haemonculus working by himself is possible, it's certainly rare, more so deeper in imperial space.
A Sybrate might be better.

[Metellus]

Thinking about it, I agree that while a haemonculus working by himself is possible, it's certainly rare, more so deeper in imperial space.
A Sybrate might be better.

Yeah, I just thought I'd make it a Haemonculus because I was going to work an Agoniser in there somewhere and they seemed like the sort who would use one (hell, some might dual wield them, and stickanother two hilt-first into their knees for good measure). Looking at the DE 'dex though, it seems that anything upwards of and including a Sybarite can have one, so that'll change if I can't think up some background.
Further to the hive world location, I've decided to put it just east of the Ship Graves (see the 40k rulebook for the location), which explains the DE presence nicely, amd adds a bit of detail into the bargain.

[Metellus]

Haemonculi are very independant sorts. I can definately see one poping into a border world with a small bodyguard with the hope of nabbing a few subjects for their latest experiments. Perhaps the whole world is in the pay of the Haemonculous or a human proxy. Better hope that Conlitor never finds out if it is he's been itching to call an Exterminatus for some time now!

Missed your comment there, I had an apple wrapped in Easter egg paper thrown at me (long story)
To put it in the way Cordatus would, STAY AWAY FROM THE COMMONERS! Killing them indiscriminately is MY job!

[Brother_Brimstone]

Thinking about it, I agree that while a haemonculus working by himself is possible, it's certainly rare, more so deeper in imperial space.
A Sybrate might be better.

That sits with me much better - perhaps the Sybarite was scouting the planet out for a raid? I don't at all imagine it out of character that a DE clan send a couple of men to a petential target to see how easy it would be to get at - after all, they're sneaky types who love exploiting weakness, and a couple of moderate to low ranking disposable types (not necessarily disposable, but moreso than a haemonculus) would be a great way of scouting for gaps in the defences.

Accordingly, may I suggest that you say they were there scouting the planet for raids, rather than syphoning gangers off? It IS your story, so feel free to ignore this, but to me it would make more sense if they were there preparing a large scale raid where they could take hundreds if not thousands of prisoners rather than just taking a few. (they can separate the wheat from the chaff in arenas in Commorragh - then there's even more entertainment!).

As for the standing of Haemonculus, it serves to reason they are high-ranking types. After all, they have many people working for them (the people who bring in slaves for experiments, the grotesques, assistants etc...) and the only way to have people serve you in Commorragh is to be in a position of power over them. I mean, in 40K a Haemonculus can lead an army as the HQ - that should be some indication of their high status - not just anyone can lead a Kabal!

Still, it leaves great potential for character expansion - as you say, your character could find that he's more defensive of the common man than he thinks. Only he has the priveledge of killing them! It portrays him as almost an anti-hero...

[Alyster Wick]

I don't see the problem with the Haemonculus.  Sure it's a bit random and could use a little fleshing out, but DE are EXACTLY the type of species to punish a potential rival that way.  Say the Haemonculus was discovered in the early stages of a plot to overthrow the archon or something could have happened as trivial as creating grotesques that just weren't good sport.  Exile him or force him to repay his debt slowly ("You must deliver 1000 high quality grotesques for the games but even you bring back even ONE inferior specimen your debt doubles!"). 

Slightly off the wall suggestions there, but my point is you don't have to look to hard to find a reason and considering the fact that the Haemonculus is dead I wouldn't spend too much time on it (although if you flesh it out you could make it an interesting plot hook, one DE survived the massacre and lived to tell the tale, the Haemonculus's debt is now considered on Anatolear's head and the foul xenos will take it out of his hide!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!).

[MarcoSkoll]

It's basically because seeing as he's basically me in model form

While I'm not saying you can't do this, to me it always seems odd to play a game where you're role-playing yourself.
Yes, adding in the odd similarity can allow you to draw a parallel or two with the character and make it easier to get into their mindset, but just importing a badass version of yourself straight into Inquisitor doesn't really make interesting roleplay (in my mind, at least).

Your choice of course.

Next point. If you actually think about it, it doesn't really make sense for an Inquisitor to take someone on as an acolyte. Might seem an odd statement from the off, but I'll explain.
Acolytes are to become Inquisitors - and knowing if someone is capable of being an Inquisitor would take months or years of observation. Watching him kick butt in a tough fight tells you that he's a good fighter, not that he'd be a good Inquisitor.

So my opinion is that it should be very rare to recruit someone directly as an acolyte. Most of my Inquisitors were recruited by their former masters for other reasons, and were then later promoted to acolyte-hood as they proved themselves suitable.
I know that view clashes with some most canonical examples, but on this forum the average view on Inquisitors are somewhat different to GW's anyway*.
*Take the fact that Eisenhorn gained his Inquisitorial rank at 24 years old. Try writing that in a background here, and you'd get told it was far too young. Around here, promotion at much less than about 40 years old will raise at least a few eyebrows.

~~~~~

With those quibbles said, as far as his profile, skills and equipment, he looks to be a very reasonable character.

[Metellus]

Thinking about it, I agree that while a haemonculus working by himself is possible, it's certainly rare, more so deeper in imperial space.
A Sybrate might be better.

That sits with me much better - perhaps the Sybarite was scouting the planet out for a raid? I don't at all imagine it out of character that a DE clan send a couple of men to a petential target to see how easy it would be to get at - after all, they're sneaky types who love exploiting weakness, and a couple of moderate to low ranking disposable types (not necessarily disposable, but moreso than a haemonculus) would be a great way of scouting for gaps in the defences.

Accordingly, may I suggest that you say they were there scouting the planet for raids, rather than syphoning gangers off? It IS your story, so feel free to ignore this, but to me it would make more sense if they were there preparing a large scale raid where they could take hundreds if not thousands of prisoners rather than just taking a few. (they can separate the wheat from the chaff in arenas in Commorragh - then there's even more entertainment!).

As for the standing of Haemonculus, it serves to reason they are high-ranking types. After all, they have many people working for them (the people who bring in slaves for experiments, the grotesques, assistants etc...) and the only way to have people serve you in Commorragh is to be in a position of power over them. I mean, in 40K a Haemonculus can lead an army as the HQ - that should be some indication of their high status - not just anyone can lead a Kabal!

Still, it leaves great potential for character expansion - as you say, your character could find that he's more defensive of the common man than he thinks. Only he has the priveledge of killing them! It portrays him as almost an anti-hero...

That seems like a better explanation - I was going to go along the lines of them being there as punishment for something-or-other... maybe the Haemonculus cut someone's left ear off when he was meant to cut the right?
And further to the last part: Well, he's definitely getting a fleshed-out personality now, I'll have some background put up for him by the end of the day (word of warning though, it might be quite (VERY) long, I have a lot of ideas and an entire day to burn.

I don't see the problem with the Haemonculus.  Sure it's a bit random and could use a little fleshing out, but DE are EXACTLY the type of species to punish a potential rival that way.  Say the Haemonculus was discovered in the early stages of a plot to overthrow the archon or something could have happened as trivial as creating grotesques that just weren't good sport.  Exile him or force him to repay his debt slowly ("You must deliver 1000 high quality grotesques for the games but even you bring back even ONE inferior specimen your debt doubles!"). 

Slightly off the wall suggestions there, but my point is you don't have to look to hard to find a reason and considering the fact that the Haemonculus is dead I wouldn't spend too much time on it (although if you flesh it out you could make it an interesting plot hook, one DE survived the massacre and lived to tell the tale, the Haemonculus's debt is now considered on Anatolear's head and the foul xenos will take it out of his hide!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!).

Yay for more good ideas! Now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to model an Inquisitor scale DE... but any survivor would probably be wounded pretty badly - maybe a few bionic parts (do DE even have bionics? Ypu never seem to hear about them being injured in the fluff, let alone hear about any kind of medical treatment beyond being killed and having your soul devoured).

It's basically because seeing as he's basically me in model form

While I'm not saying you can't do this, to me it always seems odd to play a game where you're role-playing yourself.
Yes, adding in the odd similarity can allow you to draw a parallel or two with the character and make it easier to get into their mindset, but just importing a badass version of yourself straight into Inquisitor doesn't really make interesting roleplay (in my mind, at least).

Your choice of course.

Next point. If you actually think about it, it doesn't really make sense for an Inquisitor to take someone on as an acolyte. Might seem an odd statement from the off, but I'll explain.
Acolytes are to become Inquisitors - and knowing if someone is capable of being an Inquisitor would take months or years of observation. Watching him kick butt in a tough fight tells you that he's a good fighter, not that he'd be a good Inquisitor.

So my opinion is that it should be very rare to recruit someone directly as an acolyte. Most of my Inquisitors were recruited by their former masters for other reasons, and were then later promoted to acolyte-hood as they proved themselves suitable.
I know that view clashes with some most canonical examples, but on this forum the average view on Inquisitors are somewhat different to GW's anyway*.
*Take the fact that Eisenhorn gained his Inquisitorial rank at 24 years old. Try writing that in a background here, and you'd get told it was far too young. Around here, promotion at much less than about 40 years old will raise at least a few eyebrows.

~~~~~

With those quibbles said, as far as his profile, skills and equipment, he looks to be a very reasonable character.

In answer to the first point: I hesitate to describe him as badass. He simply kills people from a distance, where most of them can't do anything about it. Then runs and hides for a while.
To the second: I may rejig it so that instead of becoming an Acolyte straight away, he simply gets taken on for observation, then gets promoted at a much later date.
To the third point: GW's take on pretty much everything to do with Inquisitor clashes with the views here (I'm looking at you, Tyrus...); would you say that if he was discovered at the age of 25, a reasonable promotion age would be around 38?

Again, thanks for all the feedback.