Author Topic: Wargaming for poets - discussion  (Read 13076 times)

Offline Shannow

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2010, 05:34:46 PM »
Emperors's Pearl: A speech come poem, as I wrote it I had in mind that it was the internal monologue of someone like an Inquisitor, Commissar, General etc that sort of thing.

Comments always nice

EDIT: Also thank you for the compliment Kallidor :)
« Last Edit: June 05, 2010, 05:38:51 PM by Shannow »
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Offline Brother_Brimstone

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #16 on: June 05, 2010, 06:57:20 PM »
Nice; it's metre isn't as strong as your last, so it felt less rhythmic, but seeing as you have said 'speech-come-poem', i presume the deviation from poetic form was intentional.

I like the 'muscle' imagery, and feel a strong sense of determination running through the poem, so i think that was conveyed well.

Offline Shannow

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #17 on: June 05, 2010, 07:06:08 PM »
Thank you Brother_Brimstone; the lack of a particular rhythm was deliberate, as I have its delivery in his head to be somewhat stop start with pauses between the verses that are supposed to be almost his doubt in his own belief.

I sometimes find it hard to convey how I would like something read, a quality I admire in your poems! I will probably fiddle with this one and try and make it feel more fluid then see what you think of it.

Thanks again and hope revision isn't getting the better of you!
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Offline Kallidor

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #18 on: June 05, 2010, 11:40:07 PM »
It puts me in mind of the scene in 13th Warrior, where the village comes under attack. In your poem though I see this as one of the defenders on the walls of the Imperial Palace during the Heresy, I thnk it conveys a certain kind of mental and literal pressure as the Traitor hordes come on, you can feel the speaker bracing himself for the impact.
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Offline Shannow

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #19 on: June 05, 2010, 11:43:43 PM »
I really really like that specific imagery you've applied to it Kallidor I only wrote it with a general idea but that is just perfect. Also 13th warrior......awesome film! :P
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Offline Kallidor

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #20 on: June 06, 2010, 12:10:36 AM »
I think the tempo suggests to me a literal physical pressure, like a strong wind, pressing down on the speaker caused by the traitor horde closing the gap and so his poem or prayer or internal peptalk is increasingly forced as he has to hold back this pressure and feels the weight of it upon him and then by the time you reach the end he is shouting 'forever we shall hold', cut scene, fade to black. Quite enjoyable  ;D
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Offline Shannow

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #21 on: June 06, 2010, 12:25:15 AM »
I'm really enjoying the relatively forced constraints of writing 40k poetry and hearing people apply imagery from this world on to what I write. Admittedly there is only really three of us but still :P!

Its also nice to see me and Brother_Brimstone write in different styles. Do you have any thoughts brewing Kallidor?
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Offline Kallidor

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #22 on: June 06, 2010, 01:13:01 AM »
For something to write? No  :-[

Having read your poems so far I feel compelled to do one, they have a quite punch for providing detail and insight into the Dark Millennium but I know almost nothing about how to write poems so I'm going to have to go away and re-educate myself and then come up with something.
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Offline Shannow

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #23 on: June 06, 2010, 01:29:25 AM »
Don't be put off by 'not knowing anything', I don't really know anything either, I just write down the imagery in my head at a pace and organisation that I would say it at, and pleases me.

Though you can order them around rhythms obviously but I have tried and failed at that, but by the sounds of it I think Brother_Brimstone has more than a passing knowledge and his poems are excellent too!!

As long as you have imagination your sorted mate :D
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Offline Kallidor

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2010, 01:33:13 AM »
Thanks for the encouragement. I often have little flashes of ideas, what I think of as scenes and up until now I've always thought I should put them into a short story of some kind but it's never occured to me to put it into a poem which makes so much more sense.
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Offline Brother_Brimstone

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #25 on: June 06, 2010, 02:24:50 AM »
Sorry for my relatively late input here - I went straight from the end of my revision into a little project i've been working on (which will eventually be seen either in DM or on here), so i've not seen the clave for the duration of the conversation.

Even if there are only three of us, i wouldn't say it matters; we're on a rather niche forum as it is, we're just one particular niche within the niche.

To Kallidor I would say that an in-depth knowledge of 40k or poetic structure isn't required. While I myself am not Christian, I'm from a Catholic family, and a lot of my ideas of the Imperial faith come from my rather in-depth knowledge of the Catholic Church. That's why often, my presentation of Imperial Faith is different to how it is normally seen, i'm bringing personal experience in. I would recommend that approach; find a concept or feeling important to you or that you find interesting and then just try 'applying it' to the 40k universe. Then it's just an issue of incorporating 40k themes into the imagery you use. A working knowledge of prosody and poetic form isn't necessary at all (although as with all poetry, it helps), you just need a basic sense of rhythm. I myself have never formally studied prosody or poems (i gave English up at GCSE), so i'm no more qualified with regards to poetry than anyone else, I don't think it's necessary, you just need a concept, a rhythm and some imagery.

I know it sounds easier said than done, but i suppose to paraphrase my rather long and pointless ramble I would encourage you to take the plunge!
« Last Edit: June 06, 2010, 11:56:10 AM by Brother_Brimstone »

Offline Kallidor

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #26 on: June 06, 2010, 03:17:13 AM »
Will do and thanks  ;D

Fortunately for me, my mind is much brighter than I am so if I leave it alone for a while I'm sure it will come up with something for me to type.
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Offline Shannow

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #27 on: June 06, 2010, 03:25:54 AM »
Haha an excellent plan with which I wholeheartedly agree :D! Now if only the university let me use that excuse in exams....
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Offline Kallidor

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #28 on: June 06, 2010, 03:58:46 AM »
The best exam I had was when one lecturer decided that we could answer questions in our exams which we had also covered in our essays so I read my essay on the Inquisition and Heresy on the way to the exam hall and then re-wrote when I got inside; a useful tactic for someone who never revised altough to maintain the universal balance all my other exam results were decidedly mediocre  8)
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Offline Herald

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Re: Wargaming for poets - discussion
« Reply #29 on: June 06, 2010, 11:06:12 AM »
Thought I'd bite the bullet and have a go obviously inspired by the typical 40k quote. Not sure it's up to the standard of the other pieces and i have no idea what meter its in its just what sounded right at the time. I might have a go at some more it's quite an interesting challenge.
“A man who joins the Inquisition a radical has no faith, a man who leaves it a puritan has no sense”.