I railed against my father, every explosive beat of my heart boiled the hatred I held for him, condensing to venomous wrath within my soul. But he had been so right; I had not been ready to face the horrors of the world. This creature I had held to be a weak, pathetic fool, held such wisdom that in my arrogance I chose to ignore.
My father was a rogue trader of some esteem, though in recent years as they were then, competition had forced his hand, and expedition came to be longer and further from the reaches of man, closer and closer to the Halo Zone. I was a void born, my father had no great love for the lands below and wanted to be to love his ship, the Arcuate with as much zeal as himself. At the time, it was but a metallic mother who would be my tomb in time enough.
Eager to show him the power of my spirit, one day as we bordered the Halo Zone, I stole a small freighter from the hangar if only to delve into the unknown vastness, and make the cretins heart stop. If I knew then what I know now, perhaps I would have stopped.
Tanhauser. A name I do not understand or am able to forget. I remember only its magnitude in the dark, surrounded my glittering beams of light that seemed to whisper into my skull, I clawed at my face with my bare nails to tear out my eyes. It was not what I could see, but what I feared I would that drove me too such levels.
My father had ventured out with his personal guard of 3 dozen men to retrieve me, they were the very best, hardened veterans of underhives and chaos wars. I was found in the cargo bay of the Arcuate in the rescue ship with their corpses. The pict files showed them tearing each other apart.
Much that followed I do not remember. But for my indiscipline, my mother, my poor dear mother sent me to Cassius Prime, the major hive of my fathers homeworld Pantothenia. Here I became a spyrer, cast into the pit to atone for my indiscretions and learn the meaning of loneliness and discipline.
I emerged stronger, harder....colder. I brought with me an accomplice however, a truant from the progenii called 'JF' a ganger with far too much intelligence about him for me to kill, and besides I rather liked him.
On my return to the Arcuate, I discovered it had been commandeered by the Inquisition, by a man called Reevius. He was investigating the incident in the Halo Zone which had left me such a pretty boy. We struck a bargain, myself. my mother and JF were allowed to live; on the condition that I worked for him.
He handed me a Black Charter, and smiled at me 'be seeing you' he said with a nod. That was 20 years ago. I am the man with purple eyes, the man with bloody face, to those who whisper to the warp? I am death. I am heaven.
I was Konrad Kurze Sebastien Reinhold, but now? I am Tanhauser and you will not escape.
I rushed this as a quick form of procrastination. Its for a character that I've been putting together in my head and hopefully as a model soon. Its not great but will hopefully polish with your comments.
C&C welcome.
Grim. Dark. Evocative. I really like this. I'll be interested to see where you take him stats and skills wise :).
Konrad Kurze? You might want to reconsider that, given that Konrad Curze was the Primarch of the Night Lords.
But other than that, sounds good.
Roy's dying speech is indeed a beautiful one, and it has inspired me to make references to (a) Tannhauser gate myself. It was the site of one of Marco's operations, but the actual details have been left rather vague until I finally write an idea worthy of fleshing it out.
Quote from: MarcoSkoll on April 16, 2011, 09:28:26 PM
Konrad Kurze? You might want to reconsider that, given that Konrad Curze was the Primarch of the Night Lords.
Ahhh, when I wrote it I knew I had read it somewhere and that I shouldn't be using it because of where I had read it (was reading about assassin characters last night), will amend when can come up with a suitable alternative, suggestions always good.
Tis indeed a beautiful speech, re-watched it recently, playing with my model of Rick's gun all the while. Hence the many reference and general bounty hunter feel of the character.
Thanks for c&c
Lots of potential in this background, and plenty of reasons for people to dislike him, which I always feel helps the narrative of inquisitor. Look forward to seeing the model.
I like. Intriguing. very gothic atmosphere but short on distracting 'fact', nice balance.
I love it, it makes me curious to see more.
WIP for character posted here http://www.the-conclave.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=1482.msg19399;topicseen#msg19399
Thanks for all the positive comments :)
While Seabeams glittering in the dark off the Tanhauser gate may be evolkative is it really appropriate in this case?
I'd also query the Spyrer line, Spyre Hunters are members of the Hive's Noble houses who're sent down into the Underhive to prove themselves - the son of a Rogue Trader who's spent so much time in space is probably not really in need of that crucible, not given the initial description of his relationship with his father at least...
Spyrers are those fopish Byronian nobles who clutter up the place in frilly fronted shirts open to the waist, drunk and doped out of their skulls on various opiates (because it takes their mind off their various venerial diseases).
The hunt winnows out those who're too far gone, those who're terminally stupid and those who are generally incompetent and those who return after a successful hunt become the ruthless business suited tyrants their houses need to thrive.
It doesn't seem to me that he fits that mould, it just seems like a means to make him a pit fighter with a get out...
IMHO you also need to obfuscate your influences more in other regards - JF Sebastian as a recognisable character might work in an homage but he stands out like a sore thumb here for example.
Thanks for comments! With regards to references, as I said in original post it was very much procrastination as I'm revising for my finals at the moment, and having just watched bladerunner and having a mushy brain they were easy names to pick out. Totally agree more original namewoild be better, just something not great at, at the best of times! Suggestions welcome :)
However with regards the spyrer, he is suppose to be that spoilt brat esque son, railing against his father even though he's so privileged. Sorry if that's not conveyed! Will wok on it
Again thanks for criticism!