Ok, the guys here gave me a few pointers, such as how insanely overpowered my other guy was. i have Written up another character, who is also a rouge trader, and i will be happy to recieve Critisism. the other five people in his background will be posted later, as they are part of his warband.
Restin Teljar.
Restin is left handed
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
67 63 51 56 67 73 77 71 86
Special Abilities
• Leader
• Feint
• Fast draw
Equipment:
• Chainsword
• 2 Digi weapon laspistol (one on each hand, index finger)
• Shot-pistol with 12 Inferno Ammo clips.
• Carapace armour on chest (6 points of armour)
• Flak armour(3 points of armour) on all other locations except head.
• Restin also wears a Cloth robe over all locations exept his head, but it has no effects on his armour.
• Rebreather.
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Restin is a black man, abut 6 foot 2, brown eyes and long dark brown hair. Has a Dark brown Goatee beard. His obes cover almost everywhere, although you can see his armoured boots. Wears his sword scabbard at his bet, on the right hnd side, With his shot-pistol on his left hand side. His robes are Sky blue, with navy blue trims.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Restin was born into his family under perfect conditions- Delivered on time, his mother survived the process and he even had the family birthmark- a single, perfectly straight black line on his forearm. He was trained in swordplay by the familys instructor and then, when he came of age, he was given his trading liscence. He learned each variation of every weapon he could legally sell, learned how much each was worth, how to haggle and when to deal or not. He eventually tired of his life on his homeworld, Vestroya, havng no wife, no crush or no lady rond the back of the pub, he had no challenges to occupy himself with. He resolved to seek his fortunes elsewhere and began to travel the stars looking for greater opportunitys. however, Restin was caught up in the combat on Charadon after his ship, The 'Pride of the the Teljars' was attacked by an ork rok, eventually saving the lives of a tactical squad under the command of Tigirus, and then completely restocking the same squads supplys in order to give them another chance against the ork mob they were up against. One of the scout units, working closely with the tactical squad Restin had re-supplied, decided to investigate Restin. They were beset by a small group of ork Nobz. Restin came to their aid, but one scout lost his arms to a power klaw attack. Restion, who had finished carrying out repairs on his ship, took the injured scout on board, promising the others 'he will be fine.' The scout, named Amityius, took an oath of service and bade Tigrus let him go. The two became comrades later,, after Tigrus accepted, on the condition that once Amityius had saved Restin from certain death, He must return int the service of the emperor. After having his arms replaced with robotic limbs, the two took of for the planet Doton, meeting with another four adventurous souls along the way, one of which was none other than his old sword teacher. who were looking for a leader. Restin took them in, and from that point onwards, the six became and unseperable team, returning from combat situations and trading oppertunitys alike to their base on Dolton, which they remain on to this day.
OK what kind of shotgun is that PUMP ?? single barrel ?? double barrel ?? combat ??
typically you saw off a single or double barrel so that makes that simple
NOW how many inferno rounds dose he have ?
Whilst i think the Scout may rise a couple of issues with people who're more versed than i am in the Imperium, i'm going to suggest Harry Sidebottom's "Warrior of Rome" series due to the debt that the Scout owes the Trader.
]In that series, the protagonist owns a gladiator, and saved the gladiators life once before. The gladiator repays the debt a number of times through the series, but each time says that it must be certain, that the protagonist was going to die without the intervention of the gladiator. It could be a theme to use with the two of them.
Back to the character, i like that he has a chainsword, there are no where near enough of them in Inquisitor, but i think a couple of digi weapons would also fit him reasonably well. A single sawn-off shotgun is a little too "gangster" for a Rogue Trader, so he could have a sawn-off as an overt weapon, and a set of rings that would be seen as mere vanity, the idea being that if he is searched, they would immediately go for the sawn-off, and thus wouldn't concentrate so much on jewellry. Also, around a dozen shells seem to be legit for a shotgun, in my head anyways.
Modified profile to fit with 0_o's suggestions.
I only recently got Marcoskolls revised armoury, yet i still cannot find Digi weapons, in either armoury. If anyone can tell me what page they are on, that would be much apreciated.
Also, here is the profile for Amityius, the spce marine scout. He may look overpowered, bu he is a space marine of sorts.
Brother Amityius
Amityius is right handed
WS BS S T I WP SG NV LD
65 72 45/47 103 71 91 82 93 69
Special Abilities
• Nerves of Steel
• Deadeye shot
Equipment:
• Bolt-sniper with Kraken rounds (3 full magazines)
• Sword (standard issue Close Combat weapon)
• Carapace armour on All Locations exept Head (6 points of armour)
• Two average bionic arms. (arms have 7 points of armour, not 6)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Amitius, for what you can see of him, is a very pale man. He is clean shaven, like most ultramarines, an has dark green eyes. Distinguihed by a large scar on his right
cheek, His armour is a very damaged looking set of ultramarines scout armour, with one sky blue shoulder trim, as a mark of alligence to Restin.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Amitius served in the ultramarines 6th scout company before his 'accident'. He was part of a five man scout detachment, scouting the hills of Charadon. They were Informed by a tactical squad about a rouge trader, carrying out repairs on his ship which had been attacked. The sargent gave the order to investigate, and they
quickly found the ship. Unfortunatl, a surprisingly quiet mob of ork nobz had been following the scout unit, and they struck at them as the scouts began to question the man. This trader helped them fight, and eventually killed off a good half of the nobz and, although restin lost both his arms, the nobz were sent fleeing. Restin, the
name of the trader in question, took the injured Amityius on his ship, and after replacing restins mauled stumps he called arms with robotics, Amitius was good to go. Amitius bade Tigurus let him serve Restin, and Tigurus Agreed on the condition that once Amityius had saved Restins life, he must return to the emperors service.
Amitius has nevr come close to repaying his debt to Restin, although the to are now inseperable comrades, Amitius often joking abou how he'd probbly stay with Restin even if he oes fufill his debt. however, unbenownst to restin, Amityius actually means this, ahving formed a brother-like connection with him.
Bit confusing in the scout's background. You say Restin lost both his arms? Did you mean Amityius?
I like the background, though I'm sure it would take a lot to make a Space Marine give up service to the Emperor. I think Joel's idea would be a good loophole to utilise to keep him with Rastin. Also you can't really have Doton as a base, as Doton is a dead world.
For Space Marine stats:
page 27 of http://www.darkmagenta.co.uk/Dark_Magenta_2.pdf
Why did you change your last character so completely for the second attempt - I hate to say it, but I actually prefer that one to this (even though the last did need some work, he was perfectly fixable). This character is a bit too perfect for my tastes. Perfect life, great warrior, respect of a famous Astartes etc - I'd prefer to have seen something of a darker side to his character to make him more interesting.
Why do they always return to Dolton/Doton? I wasn't sure if I'd missed the significance of that world - is it part of your campaign? His home world? I assume it's his ship they travel on, so he must have had friends/comrades on there before he met the other five, so where are they now? Why not make one or two members of the warband old family retainers who've been with him from the beginning?
I would say that Catfall and Acrobatic are not really appropriate skills for someone wearing that much amour - they're usually reserved for assassins and the like who wear little armour so they're not weighed down. They don't seem to fit with the background you've written anyway so I'd just drop them. He should probably have Leader though.
Also, flak armour is AV3 - is there a reason his is AV4 or is it a typo? It could be heavy flak armour, but that doesn't seem to fit with his skills.
Finally, do you have a plan for his model?
Also, Scout Armour is not Carapace on all locations. Carapace on Chest, Abdomen and groin. Reinforced Flak on Other Locations, though I'd wait to see the model before deciding on armour values for it.
I rather like the idea of a scout swearing to follow someone who saved his life untill the debt is paid, but I doubt he'd give up forever on returning to his chapter. And I'd like to see a trader using more of the contact he now has, running supply missions for spacemarines, being effectivly their errand boy, might well be very lucrative. And were I a chapter master, I might value having a useful go between, might well be worth the temporary loss of one scout.
Digi Weapons are in the Main book.
Acrobatic and Catfall seem to have no mention in the backstory, nor do they seem to fit with the character or his equipment. He is apparantly trained in sword play, so feint might be an appropriate skill.
You say there are four more people to come in his warband? I hope you are not expecting them all to take to the field at once?
I aim to have pretty large warbands, but then split them up depending on role. The three warbands i'm planning/working on, the first has 6 members, the second has 8, and the third has more mutants and daemons than i could possibly afford right now. The first has the investigative pair (an Inquisitor and an expert on Cultist behaviour), the gun slinging pair (a gun-dog and his ex-enforcer missus), and the pair that are somewhat in-between them both (The Inquisitor, and an Arbites). The 8 man one is just a group of terrorists and a recongregator radical, and the last one is a place for all mutant and daemonic and downright weird characters who're led by a daemon who can be completely lucid one game, and the next believe he is a rock. I'd very rarely use more than 4 in a single game however.
I back the suggestion for feint, maybe dropping acrobatic for it. It's possible to fall with lots of equipment and land properly (look at Airborne and Air Assault army regiments), though a lot harder to then jump clear over someone's head whilst wielding the same amount of kit.
Digi-weapons are in the main armoury, located on the same page as the Necrontyr Gauss rifle and the Kroot mercenary kablamo.
A Chapter Master may have use for a go-between, a Chapter Master of say, the Mantis Warriors, or the Relictors, or the Azure Angels, but i don't see Marneus Calgar, regent of Ultramar needing one. Having said that, he probably has quite a few on retainer already, so him being used by the Ultramarines as well could annoy some of the older, more established families that have been with Ultramar since before the Heresy, thus creating a nemesis perhaps.
I reckon a family retainer would be pretty useful too. It could be a the man who taught him how to use a sword (giving you the grizzled old sword master), the man who taught him to read (who better to broker deals then his own tutor?), the mutant slave who has been his bodyguard since birth, and is to kill himself if Teljar dies before he does.
This may be a bit of an odd point, but i imagine that a Space Marine Scout with bionic arms would be a touch stronger too, but then that depends on how far away he was from becoming a Marine Proper.
Alta- Did i mistype that? Yea it was Amitius who lost his arms.
Also, he hasn't saved his life yet. During the campaign, he may do several times (in one way or another)
And a Dead world can still be used, its Death worlds that are uninhabitable.
Kaled- Sure it wsa easily fixed, but untill i can, im gonna stick this warbnd in- they are not all so perfect either.
Doton is part of the campaign yes.
His ship crew are not traied for ground cobat, merely spaceship combat, so they play very little role in the campaign.
The armor thing is a typo. I'll change it.
Carapace armour is supposed to be rather light isnt it? I can change it of course, but still. As for catfall and acrobat, he is trained in swift swordplay, but maybe feint would be better. Leader is a good idea.
Adlan- Whats the armour value of reinforced Flak?
Amitius is a very new scout (i probably didnt make that clear in his background). The thing about not wanting to return to service is explainable in a way, Restin is like the brother Amityius never had.
Finaly, yea i'm feilding them all, only Restin and Amitius are better than the others.
Joel Thanks for the slightly more specific location of digi weapons. Any suggestions on what to have?
The guy who taught him to use his sword will be in the warband, i like that idea. I'll change the background.
Quote from: Darksinger on December 28, 2010, 05:10:45 PMAnd a Dead world can still be used, its Death worlds that are uninhabitable.
You're the wrong way around on that.
Death worlds (like Catachan) are habitable, if dangerous. Dead worlds - almost nothing lives on them (by definition), and in most cases, it's unlikely anything could.
QuoteCarapace armour is supposed to be rather light isnt it?
It's the heaviest (common) armour short of power armour. So not light at all.
The problem with Restin being the brother that Amitus never had is that Amitus would have Battle-Brothers, and that'd be enough for someone psychopathic enough to become a Space Marine, they just can't relate to people on a more personal level.
As for Digi-Weapons, you can have las-pistols, inferno-pistols, hand flamers, or needle pistols. Personally i'd have 2 las-rings, mostly for the mental image of him doing gun-fingers at people, and las rounds hitting people. Or, him punching like a boxer and people getting hit. I've got an Inquisitor who has a last ditch effort built into his bionic eye, a single-shot Inferno pistol for when the fan is contacted by the proverbial [EXCOMMUNICATE], and he's going eye to eye with a daemon.
Death-World are habitable, as Marco said, only they're barely habitable. The people who come from them are the hardiest, most bad-ass people you can get. If there's 6 different ways to survive the attack of the deadly viperousacidious viper, they'll know what they are, and how to implement it, otherwise, they'd be dead.
Quote from: Darksinger on December 28, 2010, 05:10:45 PM
His ship crew are not traied for ground cobat, merely spaceship combat, so they play very little role in the campaign.
So who did he take on away missions before meeting the other five? Why not use non-combat personnel in your warband? His shuttle pilot, or savant, astropath or navigator? Any of those could be accompanying him at the start of a scenario? Not all games take place in a situation where you character knows he's walking into combat. You're missing out if you just restrict yourself to combat archetypes.
QuoteAs for catfall and acrobat, he is trained in swift swordplay,
Right, but Acrobatic and Catfall suggest a lithe agile assassin rather than a swift swordsman - Feint and Leader seem much better choices for this guy.
QuoteFinaly, yea i'm feilding them all, only Restin and Amitius are better than the others.
It's not a question of too many characters making your warband overpowered - rather, too many characters on the table make the game slow and almost unplayable. About 3-4 characters per person and no more than 10 or so on tha table at once. Less if you're new to the game.
[/quote]
on what Kaled said about having too amny troopers on the table, in early missions with our group 3 of us had 5 guys each and all told there was about 20 characters on the table whcih was impossibly unweildy, since then we've been teasting out different numbers, usually with the GM deciing the numbers each player is allowed.
Don't forget that that doesn't mean you're warband has to be restricted to only a few models, if you read the Abnett book Malleus, he has a group of people waiting in his headquarters, and he picks 3 of them to accompany him on a mission. Think of it that way, look at the situation the Head character thinks he's going into, and take the models that would suit that situation.
If he think's he's going into a gunfight, taking a Savant and a Transcription Servitor isn't the best of ideas, likewise, whilst trying to trick people into thinking he's a visiting dignitary, taking a well known wanted criminal as a bodyguard wouldn't work either (or it would change people's reaction to him at the very least, an Enforcer's truncheon might be meeting him personally through the next door, or he could have diplomatic immunity, you never know).
And if you're playing a scenario where your character thought it was a trade meeting but turned out to be an ambush he might be stuck with his savant and astropath and wishing he'd brought along an armed escort instead...
In other words, the wider variety of characters you have to choose from the more options you have for scenarios. A couple of my warbands have upwards of a dozen members but I'd never use more than three, or at most four, in a game.
Kaled, his first proper combat mission was after he met the other five. He landed on Charadon before he got any full tradng oppertunitys. Also, my warband is smaller than some of the ones in my campaign, and I wont be feilding all of them all of the time.
Also, I love the gun fingers idea. Made me laugh.
Finaly, Plenty of stories involve small bases on dead worlds, And do you really think Restin would hoarde all of his gold? He'd need to eat sometimes.
Next Character-
Molly Gestait
Molly is Right handed
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
46 29 41 43 46 47 43 48 46
Special Abilities
• Dodge
Equipment:
• Spear
• Laspistol- Civilian magazine, Stealth muzzle, Mid range Barrel, 16 megathule lasing chamber, Mars discharge generator, Standard grip, Standard frame,
• Cloth armour with leather boots, Gloves, Shoulderpads, Torsopads, Thighpads ect. (3 points of amour on all locations Exept head.)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Still rather short, molly is only 4 foot 7. White, Brown shoulder length hair and peircing electric blue eyes. Her mud brown tanned leather armour is stiche on to her thick black cloth robes.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Molly was thrown out of her home at the age of Eight. Begging for food and shelter in the underhives of Archeron hive, Molly was taught one thing- those who give up, die. She was forced into work in the armnaments factorys under the brutal rule of the orks- a paticularily nasty Big Mek called Nark the Toothless 'took care' of the workers. She began to realise that her only chance of survival was to escape the hives, so began her plan. At mealtimes, she would whisper of her plans to the people she sat with, gaining support from them. Whilst she worked, She stole away parts to build herself a gun- the end result resembling something of a las-pistol.That night, she used this new weapon to laser the locks on her cell, freed the other prisoners and killed the sleeping Grots Nark had placed on door gaurd duty. Taking the orkish weapons, the prisoners fought thier way out, although the other prisoners had to use their weapons as clubs, due to a strange lack of function. After bidding farewell to her prisoner comrades, Molly stole away inside a Resuply Shuttle headed for the imperial world San Leor. However, the ship was redirected
Due to a small incursion of nurglings. An entire city was burned to the ground just in time to stop the spread, bwhich was the same city the ship was headed to. However, the supplys they needed to obtain were within reach on the Imperial planet Brimlock, where Molly escaped undetected. She encountered a trader called Restin, who was selling weapons so he could feed his small team. Molly begged him to take her with him, so that she could fight. He agreed on one condition- She had to prove herself in a duel with him. Molly accepted, picked up a spear from Restins stall and braced herself. Restin immediatly began to fight her, sword Verses spear. Molly desperatly dodged his attacks, Untill finally She saw her chance. As Restin stumbled over a loose cobblestone, Molly brought her spear up to restns back. Restin yeilded, and showed molly to his ship. On board, she met Amityius, who comlained about her havng cheated. Restin countered with the argument that 'if you stumbled in a fight, you think a chaos marine would wait untill you regained your balance?' Amityius and Molly then bagan a long contest over who would beat who, although Molly knew Amityius would win if it came down to it. Arriving on the dead world Doton, molly was enrolled into Restins team, and had her cobbled up firearm replaced with a customised las-pistol. Unbenowngst to her, Restin is secretly training her to succed him once he passes on.
She built a Laspistol in an ork ruled factory? Orks don't generally use las weapons, so where did she get the parts?
She stowed away on an imperial bound ship? From an Ork held Planet? Was this in system? Even if it was I find it a stretch to believe. Why was the ship redirected? This could well restore my suspension of disbelief, was it due to contamination with ork spores, the hereasy of being on a xeno's held planet?
An expert swordsman was beaten by a slip of a girl? Spear is generally superior to Sword, but in this case, given that she seems to have had no prior experiance with the spear, I find it hard to believe. It'd have to be a spectacular slip to produce such a result. Was a Banana peel involved?
And then a spacemarine scout (with two bionic arms) and this young lady bicker about who would win?
The Background just seems to me unlikely thing X followed by unlikely thing X. And I know I'm being harsh here, for which I apologise, but I don't know how to tone it down in this instance.
I'm sorry, the character dosn't fit as hired muscle, isn't a sneak thief for the team, has no other skills. It feels like she's someones kid sister tagging along. Is she someone on the crews girlfriend/lover? I'm not opposed to having low power or weak characters, but the only roll I can see her fulfilling is that of a bullet catcher. Why is she part of the warband?
With a little more work on the background, a few more justifications and explanations, she'll be a fine character. And It's a major improvement over your first draft stuff, you've clearly put some effort in, well done :).
I'm still confused about his crew. You keep mentioning his small team, but an interstellar ship would have a crew of thousands. Or are you saying he's an extremely poor Rogue Trader with just a small interplanetary ship? Because it sounds like he has a warp-capable ship as you mention him travelling the stars, and it sounds like his family were rather wealthy (which makes sense if they're a dynasty of Rogue Traders).
On the same lines, the ship Molly stole away on would be a huge starship - not a small aircraft.
Kaled- He's not poor, he just dosent need a huge ship. Its big enough for warp capable transport and thats it really. His crew wait around at his base and train themselves with simulations whilst he makes plans, they pilot the ship and they wait whilst Restin does his trading, mabye they go for a drink or to visit a temple of some description. Not every ship in the universe has a Crew who are well renkowned. You can write a history for a squad of storm troopers famed for their use of vendetta gunships, but its highly unlikely you'd mention something bigger than the pilot of their Vendettas name.
Also, your right about the small aircraft thing. She would have stollen away on a warp capable ship of some proportions.
Adlan- I will edit the background to fit these.
It resembled a las pistol. It wasn't A laspistol. And big meks use laser weaponry, as do may lootaz who simply cannot find enough bullets for their guns, or a gun barrl to give to the mek. When building a Kustom Mega Blasta, laser ammo can be essential.
Also, The supplys for the war can't all be made on Armaggedon. They woul'dnt have enough troops or guns produced i a year to fight the orks, especially under Gazghulls command. So it stands to reason that the other supplys must come from somewhere.
The ship was redirected Due to a small incursion of nurglings. An entire city was burned to the ground just in time to stop the spread, bwhich was the same city the ship was headed to. However, thesupplys they needed to obtain were within reach on the other planet.
There was no bannana peel, but a loose cobblestone, if stepped on one can send evn a grown man tumbling. My uncle actually broke his arm because he tripped on something similar.
The bicker was a joke between the two. It was sorta freindly in a way.
She's part of the warband because she
A)fought her way out of an ork ruled factory
B)Beat Restin in a duel and
C)Posseses a decent amount of knowledge into the working of Las weaponry. Restin aims to train hr as His succesor, to carry on the buisness should he die. (not too unreasonable is it?)
Finaly, Thank you for the Comment. Much apreciated.
Finally, Here is my next character.You'll know who he is when you read the background :)
Kastan Andersen.
Kastan is ambidextrous.
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
89 23 76 63 34 58 53 67 64
Special Abilities
• Fast Draw
• Feint
Equipment:
• Daemon weapon- Falchion. Powers are Bound, Breath, Is Wp 78
• Two knifes.
• 10 throwing knives
•A set of mesh armour, all locations exept head and torso. (4 points of armour). Torso is protected by a Duelling coat, made from thick leather and Kevlar.(5 points of armour.)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Kastan is about 7 foot tall- he is a giant of a man. Heavily built muscles. Short shaggy grey hair, beard and moustache. Eyes are very dark brown, although he boasts that only his ex wife and his closest freinds have ever been close enough to see them properly. Wears his mesh armour proudly, and has a Crimson red long coat he wears over the top, secretly reinforced to protect his torso. Walks with a limp due to his crippled leg.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Kastan Andersen, up untill his second lengthy encounter with Restin Teljar, was a swrord trainer for hire. He would work with a employer until the trainee could beat him five times in a row, at which point he would collect 1000 imperial credits per month he had spent teaching them. Ever the gentleman, Kastan would always deduct 500 credits off of the charges in the month the trainees birthday was in. It was in this proffession that he first met the 14 year old Restin Taljar, Son of an rouge trader with a somewhat collosal hoarde of money. Kastan Trined with Restin thrice a week, untill the very day of Restins 17th birthday, at which point Restin actually broke Kestans Sword blade on his fifth round of combat. Kestin knew then he could teach him no more, and upon his departure, was presented with a very expensive sword, in addition to the other sum of money he was owed. Kastan spent the next three years on Restins homeworld, Vestroya, teachng the basics to paying clients and telling stories to the drunken city guard..Kastan went home, to the planet San Leor. He had only been home once in the past five years, at which point he had dispatched a squadron of mercenarys. He had stalked the leader of the unit to his meeting place, watched as they planned their next raid, then ambushed them the next day along with 10 of the city guards finest. However, two of the mercenarys got away, fleeing into the mountains. This time around, about a month into his home visit, the mercenarys ambushed him as he walked down a shortcut to his home. One mercenary knocked Kastan over whilst the other used a knock-up gas grenade to choke him. desperately trying not breath in, Kastan struck back at the mercenarys, but was clouded by the gasses and couldnt land a hit. Kastan felt like his own weapon was fighting him. Kastan concentrated, bringing up all his willpower, and struck again. This time, the weapon hit home, stabing the mercenary through the chest. The other one, sneaking up behind him, struck Kastan in the back, causing him to take a sharp intake of breath. To his surprise, Kastan could breath in the gasses now, without feeling lightheaded or woozy. In his breif moment of surprise, Kastan was disarmed, but felt as though part of him had just fallen off. Kastan jumped back, dodging the mercenarys next swing, then reached out for his sword. About a foot away from it, the handle quivered, then shot back into Kastans hand. The mercenary fell back in surprise, and Kastan stabbed him in the chest. Kastan looked at the sword he had been given by the Teljar family. Reaching out he toched the flat of the blade. In a breif moment of terror, Kastan saw a daemon, a single yellow eye on a melted green face, staring at him. Kastan knew he had come by a Daemon weapon. Kastan fled to the docks, vowng to get off planet before something bad happened, where he ran into Restin again. Restin was now much much older, but still (quite literally) welcomed Kestin with open arms. After recounting his tale, Restin invited Kastan to join him with his crew. Kastan Readil accepted, on the condition that, unless they were in a fight, the rest of the group waited up for him.
and I always thought M. Night Shyamalan movies where bad
doo d stop and re read what you have wrote and see if you can plot holes yourself
what you write shows me you have a limited scope of the background for either 40k or INQ
what I see is you are writing from what you have read or heard ppl say from codexs
try to broaden your scope a bit read a few black libray books ( NOT THE HORUS HERESY SET !! )
they watching a few action movies ( for the story and characters )
and if you really need to I will write you a LIST of movies
Quote from: Darksinger on December 29, 2010, 09:56:00 PM
Kaled- He's not poor, he just dosent need a huge ship. Its big enough for warp capable transport and thats it really.
Maybe I'm not making myself clear - warp-capable ships don't come in any size other than huge. You talk about him looking for food to feed his small crew but the crew of a small warp-capable ship is still going to be numbered in the thousands - he'd be looking for enough food to feed a small town. The fluff you've written seems to treat the ship as something small (like the Millennium Falcon, Serenity, or even the Enterprise) and that just wouldn't be the case (more like something the size of a Star Destroyer). I'm not suggesting you need to write a whole background for them, but they have to exist - and in all likelihood they'd spend their entire life aboard ship - whole generations would live and die aboard ship. You can't just dismiss them, and given that they exist you might as well use a couple of them in your warband.
EDIT: I see you've changed the small aircraft to a resupply shuttle but you still need something bigger. A shuttle could be used to get her into orbit but you need a much bigger ship to get her to San Leor.
It might be worth you looking at some of the material on the FFG site for the Rogue Trader RPG, or maybe some of the Battlefleet Gothic stuff on the GW site.
Quote from: Kaled on December 29, 2010, 10:35:39 PMThe fluff you've written seems to treat the ship as something small (like the Millennium Falcon, Serenity, or even the Enterprise) and that just wouldn't be the case (more like something the size of a Star Destroyer).
At a minimum, warp capable ships start at about a kilometre long and around a thousand crew.
There are rare exceptions - there are a mere handful of warp capable ships in the entire Imperium which are perhaps the size of a modest aircraft and need less than a dozen crew, but these require the VAST resources of both the Inquisition and the Mechanicus in tandem, and probably quite a bit of xeno or irreplicable ancient technology to work - and the emphasis there is on
rare. No rogue trader would have such a ship.
Someone with the resources might have a largely servitor crewed ship, but servitors being mostly monotask means that you need even more of them than you would human crew (a human can perform a wider range of tasks than a servitor), and then quite a few crew just to maintain and program those servitors.
In 40k, things of the size of the Millennium Falcon (~25m long) or a Firefly (~60m long) would be limited to surface-to-orbit work, or perhaps interplanetary journeys.
But when I say that, bear in mind the difference between interplanetary and interstellar. The former is travelling between planets in the same solar system, the second is travelling between solar systems.
So, food for a warp capable ship is measured in truckloads (particularly as that food may have to last a year or more on longer voyages) not shopping carts.
Quote from: Darksinger on December 29, 2010, 09:56:00 PM
•A set of mesh armour, all locations exept head and torso. (4 points of armour). Torso is protected by extra padding in the form of his coat, so ahs % points of armour.
It's not made clear in the rulebook, but armour doesn't stack - you just use the AV of the heaviest armour a character has on a location. So a heavy coat over mesh armour is AV4, not 6. There are exceptions, such as armour built into a bionic.
It's usual for anyone who comes into contact with daemons to be executed, even marines are often mind-wiped, such are the measures necessary to prevent the taint of chaos spreading. But he encountered the daemonic first hand, defeated a thing of nightmares, was caught in it's death throes, and had it bound into his blade, and all that happened to him was he got a bit of a limp. By rights he should have been driven insane by his experiences, then executed by the Grey Knights. There's certainly no way he'd be allowed to wander off with a daemon sword - that's the sort of thing even Inquisitors get executed for owning.
I'm sorry, but his story is just not believable - I think you need to rewrite pretty much everything after him training your Rogue Trader*. I assume the core concept for this guy is a swordmaster carrying a daemonsword. The best way I can think to achieve that is for him not to know what the sword is. I'd suggest that Restin's family unknowingly gave him a daemonsword they'd obtained in some trade - he's in some way attuned to the daemon and it's bound itself to him and is driving him insane as he falls victim to it's will. In fact, looking at their Wp's he's already under the control of the daemon.
* Unless he is actually a makeup salesman, it's Rogue Trader not rouge trader.
0_o - yea im pretty new and dont extensively read fluff. Didn't you guess? I called my first thread 'brand new character, brand new player'.
I'm also quite budget short. what i do have goes into my armys, not the book series.
kaled- I'll change that. And ok, youve convinced me, I'll write up a few chracters from his crew as warband members.
Thanks for letting me know about armour stacking. would a mail armour set with a built in longcoat be legal, or will i really have to change that arour value?
I do see your point about executions. Will re-write background tomorrow (i'm getting tired)
Have i really been writing rouge trader? I mean Rogue trader of course, but my spelling is attrocious. sorry.
Marcoskoll- I will really need to Alter his ship. Any good ideas for a name? Most ship have names, so i need a good one. my ideas include-
Pride of the Teljars
Dutyforged
Solarbound
Warpspectre
Warpspectre sounds pretty cool, but Pride of the Teljar's would most likely be the name you should go for. For his chest, you could make your own armour which is AV 5, something like duelist's cuirass, or something.
Quote from: Darksinger on December 30, 2010, 01:00:26 AMyea im pretty new and dont extensively read fluff. Didn't you guess? I called my first thread 'brand new character, brand new player'.
Inquisitor is as fluff heavy as GW games get (theoretically excepting the actual RPGs), but it's surprising just how much you can pick up from hanging around the Conclave. I joined about two years ago, and I've gone from a passable knowledge to a much more impressive one.
QuoteHave i really been writing rouge trader? I mean Rogue trader of course
I come close to writing it at times. The keyboard layout makes it rather easy for the right finger to find the U before the left finds the G, and put them in the wrong order.
QuoteAny good ideas for a name? Most ship have names, so I need a good one.
I have to disagree with Joel, and say I would
avoid "Warpspectre". While the word Warp is commonly used from our perspective, it's thought of as a bit jinxed in the 40k universe, so most characters will treat it a bit like "The Scottish play" and call it things like the Æthyr (because ligatures and Y as a vowel make it more mysterious!), Immaterium or any number of euphemisms.
So, I'd say "Pride of the Teljars" is the best of those.
One thing I'd say is that if you do try coming up with more ideas, a civilian ship should probably avoid using military terms or names of weapons in its name.
Ok, re wrote background. Let me now what ypou think.
Have also re-written Kastans Background. Also mentioned Restins ship in his background, by name. (Pride of the Teljars)
next post will contain the last two characters Restin recruits from off his ship, then i will get started on his Crew members (im gonna do 3, so that i have a nine strong warband i can choose from.) Would apreciate ideas for the crew warbanders, such as names and what positions they would fufill when working on bard the ship.
For ships crew, you'd have various officers to run the ship, armsmen to keep the crew in line (and maybe act as guards when your Rogue Trader leaves his ship), you'd have some Enginseers to run the engine room, and a whole load of lowly crewmen to do the physical labour. The Mechanicum often send an explorator to accompany Rogue Traders to investigate any technology they find. Also, the ship would have preachers to tend to the crews spiritual well-being, and likely some strange cults have grown up in the bowels of the ship - there's also likely to be a missionary or two on board to convert the population of any new worlds they discover. The ship would have a Navigator and Astropath.
Plenty of options - in fact, as a ship is a small city in itself you could find a way to fit almost any archetype into the mix. So for example, Molly could have been born in the bowels of the ship, and her escape could have been from the armsmen and overseers rather than orks, eventually making her way to the officers quarters where she encountered Restin and they fought their duel and she gained his respect... That's just an example, I'm not saying you should do that, just showing how the fact that someone is from the ship doesn't mean they need to be a serving officer or crewman.
Kaled- thanks for that (although im gonna leave molly as she is).
I think that, for the crew characters, the best ones to do wold be-
An engineer
An Armsman
The Navigator.
Also, Here are my next two characters (separated by two lines for your convinience)
Jorge Alexander Makairus. 'Jammy' to his freinds.
Jorge is right handed
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
51 54 62 58 52 61 41 91 53
Special Abilities
• Quickload
• Rock-steady aim.
Equipment:
• Las pistol- Hotshot magazine, Standard muzzle, mid ranged barrel, 18 megathule lasing chamber, Mars discharge generator, Standard trigger/grip, standard frame.
• 3 fragmentation grenades.
• 2 krak grenades.
• Flak armour on chest, abdomen, groin and legs. (4 points of armour)
• Metal bracers on his forearms (gives arms 1 point of armour)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Musclebound. 6 foot 4. Flack armour on torso is covered by a mud coloured leather vest (no effect on armor) with rag-tag rends where the sleeves used to be. Brown eyes. Short cut Mohawk. (brown hair)
---------------
Background:
---------------
Jorge was born into the resistance. On his homeworld, the name of which has long since been forgotten, Jorge was fighting for his life since the day he was born. 'homeworld' as Jorge learned to call it, was ruled over by a vast chaos cult, dedicated to the blood god khorne. Only a small amount of the poulation was resisting inside the supposedly inpenatrable city walls. Jorge grew up learning how to fire guns, throw grenades and make the most use of cover whilst he reloaded. He practiced and practiced, going over drills for in case of Cultist attacks. At the age of 6, Jorge had built his first Laspistol. He advanced through the livefire classes and survived raid after raid. By his fiftenth birthday, Jorge had killed 5 chaos space marines and over 50 cultists with the use of grenades. However, oneday, the Adeptus Astartes finally arrived, and after 3 months seige, broke through the city walls with several thunderfire cannons. Sweeping throug th city, the space marines found and destroyed the Cultist base, Eradicating all things chaos tainted in their path. Jorge was taken to the planet NAME where he was given a home and job in the munitions factorys. However, Jorge had grown up knowing fighting, not civil grace. He got into figts, broke things without reason and shouted insults at anyone who came knocking. 10 years of fighting, arguments and vandalism later and Jorge encountered Restin Teljar, a trader with something Jorge could finally talk about- weapons. They talked for hours about the adventures they had had, different laspistols, and Jorge even demonstrated the sort he built back during the days of the resistance. Resin invited Jorge to come along with him, as long as he kept his temper in check. Accepting this deal, Jorge and Restin returned to Restins ship, 'Pride of the Teljars', upon which Jorge met Kastan, a giant of a man, Molly and Naga, a pair of younger recruits and lastly Amityius, a space marine scout under oath of service.
==============================================================================
Naga Grinlock
Naga is right handed.
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
34 43 39 41 41 83 75 57 58
Special Abilities
• Psychic powers- Regenerate, Warp Strength.
Equipment:
• Lasgun- Military Magazine, Mid- range barrel, Standard Muzzle, 21 megathule lasing chamber, triphex-phall discharge generator, standard Frame, no stock.
•Flak Armour on all locations. (including head)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Four foot four. blonde unkempt hair. black eyes, thin and gangly. looking, but stronger than he looks.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Naga has been on the run almost all his life. Since he was ten years old, Naga showed signs of psychic activity. Born on the planet Talasa prime, Naga was introduced to the imperial chapel as a brother, along with his siter Sophia after eight years of attendance. Two years later, there was an accident involving a candlestick and Sophia- her hair set alight and badly burned her. Naga, who was desraught at his sisters state, wished her well again with all his heart. In his mind, something clicked, and Sophias hair began to regrow, slowly but surely, and her burns began to fade. Shortly, Sophias body was in a near normal state. However, the chapel leader caught Naga, and sentanced him to death for witchcraft. Naga lashed out in fury, knocking over the high priest. Naga grabbed his sisters hand and ran for his life. As they fled the chapel, a city guardsman shot Sophia- her life extinguished instantly. Naga clenched his fists, his minded bcame clouded with rage and he punched the cityguard in the face. Psychic power went into that punch, knocking the soldier out where he stood. Picking up the unconcious troopers lasgun, Naga ran for his life down the crowded streets of the city. For years, Naga evaded the City Guard, hiding in cewers, living on peoples rooftops and begging food from the odd civilian. After 12 years of unsuccessful attempts to catch him, The city guard called in an Inquisitor. This inquisitor was a veteran from many campaigns, and Naga knew the time had come to escape the planet. That day, a trader named Restin came to town, acompanied by a young girl and a rather grizly giant. Restin was explaining to the girl how a bolt-pistol works, whilst the giant was watching for trouble. Naga slowly advanced up to them, and introduced himself. Restin took ahold of Nagas lasgun, looked at it, questioned him on how he got it, then let it go. The giant, now revealed as Kastan Andersen, Shook Nagas hand loosely, whilst Naga stood in awe of Kastan. Molly, as the girl was named, asked Restin whether or not they should take him with them. Naga begged them to do so, promising he would help them. He begged until Restin agreed, and Molly said that she would take him back to the ship whilst 'you two big lads pack up shop.' Molly took Naga's hand and led him back to the ship. An hour later, Restin returned, grabbed Nagas shirt collar and began to question him abou why an inquisitor was after him. After some explanation, a vote was cast. A space marine named Amityius and Restin voted against keeping Naga, whilst Molly and Kastan voted to keep him. Eventually, the vote was settled the easy way- Kastan flipped a coin and called it. If it was heads, Naga was to stay, if tails, he was to be handed over to the inquisitor. The result was heads. Naga was given his own armour. He was in the team.
A fifteen year old boy killing five Astartes seems unlikely - even using grenades, to actually kill a marine is difficult, they're rather resilient. And I dread to think what chaos marines would do in retaliation for one of their number being killed by the resistance...
I also don't believe a psychic ten year old boy could survive twelve years on his own on the run. For a start, rogue psykers are a danger to themselves and others - they're liable to attract daemons and all manner of other warp entities, or just kill themselves as their powers get out of control. Also, the authorities on each planet are pretty good at tracking down psykers - they have to be be in order to meet their tithe for the Blackships and to avoid the Witch-seekers accusing them of failing to control their psychic population. Also, it would be an extremely brave, or foolhardy, Guard Captain who would admit to an Inquisitor that he is unable to do his job - he's likely to just be executed for incompetence. A better story would be to make him slightly older when his powers manifest, then have him stow-away on the Rogue Trader's ship as soon as he hears the Blackships have arrived. Although quite why Restin and his crew would risk their lives (and souls) by taking a dangerous untrained psyker aboard their ship I don't know...
I think you still need to work on the swordmaster some more - his Wp is much lower than that of the daemon so it would be able to control him much of the time. It might be clever enough to do so in a way that Restin and the others don't know about - but it would have a plan to escape and would be using Kastan to bring it to fruition. Maybe Kastan has blackouts and wakes up in an alley way or corridor in the bowels of the ship covered in blood surrounded by dismembered corpses. Carrying a daemon weapon that you can't control and can't get rid of should be a terrifying nightmarish experience - you need to bring more of that to Kastan's background.
Also, why is Restin grooming Molly to be his successor - why is he not planning to pass the licence on to a biological heir?
Kaled- you make a good point about the psychic powers. I'll alter the background to change his age. Or maybe i'll re-write it so he was a sanctioned psyker of some merit. what do you think?
Five chaos space marine isn't that unreasonable- i've seen conscripts kill full squads of possesed and they only have lasguns.
also, his willpower isn't that low is it?I thought i'd made it the same or thereabouts. Will check that.
finally, Restin has no biological heir.
What happens in a 40k game is not an accurate depiction of what is represented in the fluff, if it was, a space marine army would be 1 squad in 1000pts. If that.
40k works on different levels to Inquisitor, a similar comparision to a concript taking 5 maines in inquisior would be a grechin taking out a baneblade using unly it's teeth while blindfolded and missing it's arms. ;D
Quote from: Darksinger on December 30, 2010, 12:49:07 PM
Or maybe i'll re-write it so he was a sanctioned psyker of some merit. what do you think?
Is there any reason he couldn't be sanctioned? Is it important that he's a rogue?
QuoteFive chaos space marine isn't that unreasonable- i've seen conscripts kill full squads of possesed and they only have lasguns.
Don't forget that the 40k is not an accurate representation of the fluff. Just because something can happen in a game doesn't mean it's at all likely in fluff terms. Astartes in
Inquisitor are a much more accurate representation of their true prowess - in 40k they're toned down for reasons of game-balance.
Quotefinally, Restin has no biological heir.
He doesn't have one yet. Why isn't he planning to have one? 40k medical science is very advanced - it would take some explaining to come up with a reason why he couldn't have one...
Radiation wiped out his junk-factory? Genetic defect, Molly caught him with that spear, proximity to the daemonsword of Kastin, family curse that is coming to fruition about any heir that Restin has?
He seems pretty perfect in most other ways, making it so he can't have an heir would be a decent background way of explaining WHY he tries to hard at everything he does. Saying it's because they got their original licence some millennia ago through the help of a Slaaneshi daemon who has let them know he's coming back to get paid through Restin's child, might give a guy enough drive to ensure that if the daemon makes good on his word (he's a daemon, he's a lying bastard), then Restin believes he can take him. The fact that his family got their power through Daemonic ways would mean they can't contact the Inquisition, because they'd be wiped out, and if only the family and those close to the family (Kastin) know, then Amitius would be able to stay too, as he simply didn't know. This could then explain the possessed sword Kastin uses, an heirloom from the old days with a long dormant daemon, which no one knew about, a gift from the original Slaaneshi daemon which holds a daemonic opponent of his.
The daemonic curse on his family is a better explanation. Radiation, genetic defect and castration seem too easy to fix given Imperial medical science - especially as his family are so rich. The curse idea is a good one - it'd nicely offset the otherwise far too perfect background. And it doesn't even have to be true - as long as his family believe it. Some vague reference to the 'heir of the end times' or some such could have been interpreted as a reference to a child born at the end of the 41st millennium, so Restin dare not have a child.
Although he probably ought to formally adopt Molly if she is to legally inherit...
Quote from: Kaled on December 30, 2010, 12:24:57 PMA fifteen year old boy killing five Astartes seems unlikely - even using grenades, to actually kill a marine is difficult, they're rather resilient.
Again, agreed. In the fluff (and thus in Inquisitor), Space Marines really are superhumans with spares of just about every major organ, instantly clotting blood and wearing armour that is nearly invulnerable to most portable weapons and incorporates a life support system. Not to mention that they've often got hundreds of years of experience.
Any character in Inquisitor, even a Space Marine themselves, is unlikely to have a body count of more than a handful of Astartes, and it will have probably taken them many decades and a lot of luck to have achieved that. So a teenager who had killed just
one Space Marine would be exceptional.
(Hell, a teenager who had fought with just one Space Marine and had
lived would be exceptional.)
However, on a grenade related note, I would trim down that number of grenades. If you get through anywhere like 10 frag grenades in a single game, there probably won't be any more than small meaty chunks of your opponents left.
Marcoskoll- Ok, will change the kill count on those space marines.
He hasn't got much of a BS though. I will take out the krak grenades, but no frags. I will however, limit the NO. he will use in a battle.
On the note of Restins heir- He dosent have one. He has no wife, no secret heartache. If i really need a reason, i will write it in the background, but if it only needs to be that simple, i will leave it. I could make it that Restin wants an heir, but lacks the means, and he could adopt molly i suppose...
Kaled- No, he could be sanctioned if i wanted him to be.
Gazkull- Ever heard the story of Jiggy the grot? its actually fan-fiction, but its pretty good. explains how a grot could take tha baneblade out.
Quote from: Darksinger on December 30, 2010, 08:44:55 PMHe hasn't got much of a BS though.
Yes, but even if you fail the hit roll, there's a good chance it won't scatter far (or at all, if you should get a hit on the scatter dice*) and will still inflict quite nasty damage.
*Although my house rule on this is that hits still scatter in the direction of the mini-arrow, by one yard for each 10% (or part) the hit roll was failed by. Basically, the same as on an arrow, just without the D10.Most of the time, you can expect grenades to fail their hit roll - and given how much damage grenades do on a direct hit, that's kind of necessary.
QuoteI will take out the krak grenades, but no frags. I will however, limit the NO. he will use in a battle.
I'd say keep the krak grenades, but drop the number of frags.
A forced limit of "X grenades per battle" doesn't make sense - if you have grenades and you need to use them, you would use them regardless of how many you just did. I'd say just have him only carry 4 or 6 (or something), but he keeps a large crate of frags around on the ship or a bandolier of them amongst his luggage that he can replenish his "carry" supply from.
To use my namesake as an example, he'll usually only carry three spare magazines (so 48 shots total) for his pistol, but he'll keep many thousands of extra rounds in his personal armoury. He just doesn't think he needs to carry around a few hundred rounds - which is a lot of extra weight - when what he carries is usually more than enough.
QuoteOn the note of Restins heir- He dosent have one. He has no wife, no secret heartache. If i really need a reason...
Everything needs a reason. Yeah, that could be as simple as "He hasn't found a partner", but that itself needs more explanation - Rogue Traders meet many many people, and have the charm and charisma that one not being able to find a partner would be a rarity.
With Imperial medical science and its ability to vat grow individuals, single male parents wouldn't be impossible. Just find a second genetic donor (who doesn't even have to be female, even our medical science is nearly capable of creating male ova), then grow your son/daughter in a tube*.
*Actually, while the Dark Eldar fluff suggests this is common amongst the DE, I think it's probably not too uncommon amongst human females in power either. Why spend 9 months pregnant, with all the unpleasantness that comes with it, when you can do it an easier way?If someone of important lineage (and just about any nobility in 40k believes their blood line is important) chooses not to carry it on, then there has to be a pretty good reason.
They will want to carry on their line (if not, explain why), they're unlikely to not be able to find a wife (and if they can't, explain why), and there's almost nothing that can render such characters unable to become a parent.
~~~~~
Actually, all of this talk about parents gives me an idea - thinking the mention of Rumplestiltskin in the other thread, I quite like the idea of a daemonic curse where the firstborn of any of a given line is forfeit in some way. Perhaps I'll write that.
Quote from: Darksinger on December 30, 2010, 08:44:55 PM
He hasn't got much of a BS though. I will take out the krak grenades, but no frags. I will however, limit the NO. he will use in a battle.
Why not just remove some of his frag grenades - it'd be the easiest way to limit how many he uses in each game. Generally it's assumed a character will have sufficient resources to replenish his equipment between games (unless the campaign means he has no way, or no time, to resupply - in which case a few of your characters could do with more reloads).
Reloads are always nice. The only weapons that don't really need them are some energy weapons(most notably las varients).
On the subject of grenades, my current protagonist only carries two frag, and she was from an elite guard company(she also has a rather obsessive compulsive habit of hoarding las reloads), and in all fairness, in my experience two per scenario is plenty.
Okay, the relative availability of genetic replication is news to me. I was under the impression that it was hard to come by and that a clone or artificial offspring was worth more than power armour. Though I guess it depends on what is available to the parent both technological and resource wise.
Re-supplyed my grenade count. Also re-wrote Restins to explain the lack of love intrests. will develop more as i write.
im having trouble re-writing the psyker. I'm not so experianced with non-eldritch psykers, so im confused what to do. any ideas?
When it comes to grenades, three is enough usually, and 3 is about what will fit in your pockets. If you've got a model covered in grenades, I'd be more than happy to play wysiwyg, but being covered in pinapples clutters a model.
I rather like the familey curse idea, something for an inquisitor to investigate. And it doesn't matter if the curse is real, so long as he thinks it's real.
And we've already had mouse cells converted to eggs, and mouse eggs used to replace mouse sperm, creating mice with no father (or at least, a female one). Work is being done on turning sperm into eggs, and it's well within the relms of plausibility to use male sperm to create the DNA and insert it into an emptied egg.
You must be careful to avoid the heresy of cloning through. Genetic fiddling fine, AI, IVF and such like also. But clones have no souls.
Quote from: Elva on December 30, 2010, 11:03:07 PMOkay, the relative availability of genetic replication is news to me.
Relative being... well, relative. It's the kind of thing wealthy nobles with good connections could get their hands on, but in no way commonplace. As a rough rule, it's probably similar to rejuvenat in availability (if not necessarily use).
After all, many (if not most) servitors are vat grown, and most of us have used the "yeah, he's got a vat cloned arm" excuse when we don't want to have to give our characters a bionic every time they take a particularly nasty hit. But as Adlan says, growing a complete new you is (usually) heresy.
yeah look what happened the last time the Imperium made 26 clones !!
AI is not real AI really since the machine spirit has organic in it therefore it has a soul
IFV is not really not cloning
as far as vat grown servitors ?? well there are mindless and only used for the most base and base labour
Ah, sorry, miscommunication. To a farm boy like me AI is artificial insemination.
OH that kind of AI well that is just turkey basting !! lol ;D
Quote from: Darksinger on December 31, 2010, 12:34:50 AM
im having trouble re-writing the psyker. I'm not so experianced with non-eldritch psykers, so im confused what to do. any ideas?
You could just start with the same story you had before, keep the thing with his sister and him going on the run but have the authorities quickly catch him and he's shipped off on the Blackships - how he ends up back in the service of your Rogue Trader is then up to you.
Why not have him trained and sanctioned as an astropath? He's then employed by your Rogue Trader and over the years re-learns some of the biomancy abilities he instinctively knew as a kid, powers which were neglected or suppressed at the Scholastia Psykana when he underwent training to develop his telepathic potential. Maybe he's even got to such a point that he managed to re-grow his eyes that had been burned out during the Soul-binding...
I'd like to make a quick observation as well as an overarching critique. The main issues that keeps coming up with much of the background that you're developing is that it seems (IMO) you're looking to Warhammer 40K (referring to the 28mm scale game, not the universe) as the main source for your background. The result is that a lot of the details from your characters stories end up being comparatively bland/unrealistic. I make this observation as a GM currently working with a player who is using Inquisitor as their first foray into the 40K realm and is doing most of their research on the main GW site.
Not that this is a huge problem as the Conclave is always here to help with constructive criticism. However, I think if you were able to shift your focus from more of a scaled down 40K into the very different universe of Inquisitor that it would definitely help with your process.
My advice would be to read through a variety of the articles that have been generated since Inquisitor began (Marco has been kind enough to post them all online, there's a link to it in one of the stickies in this part of the forum actually). Of course I'd say some of the best could be discovered over at Dark Magenta http://www.darkmagenta.co.uk/ (http://www.darkmagenta.co.uk/)(and they'd certainly help get your views in line with the clave as most of the articles come from members here!).
Some selected reading I'd suggest would be the various Sourcebooks (especially the sections with player generated characters), the sizable article on Navigators, the space marine article (it's incredibly helpful in explaining the differences between marines and humans and shatters the assumption that 40K rules are accurate depictions in the least) and Kaled's recent mechanicus article. All of these help illuminate the difference between 40K and Inquisitor while also showing what a wide berth you have to explore areas that are only glossed over as extraneous fluff in the 40K codexes.
It isn't that there's necessarily anything wrong with heavily referencing our smaller scale brethren, it's just that it's a shame to view Inquisitor as a scaled up version of 40K, ESPECIALLY when writing background. Inquisitor's virtue (IMO) is that you get to build on and explore what's already there, not feel tied to it. Anyway, hope that was helpful. Your tenacity in character development is admirable!
Thanks for the tips on backgrounds Kaled. My first deck crew warbander is finished- take a look below and see what you think.
Nikolas Moght
Nikolas is right handed.
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
34 36 36 32 39 43 48 41 44
Special Abilities
• Medic
Equipment:
• Flamer
• Monkey wrench (counts as hammer)
•Cloth arnour on everything but head and torso (two points of armour)
• Flak armour on torso (3 points of armour)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
About 5 foot 3. Blue eyes, Ginger hair. Constantly snburned because he works in the engine room.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Nikolas was bought as a slave at the age of eight, by an a man named Calodus Teljar. This man was a rouge trader with an enourmous fortune and an even bigger ship. Nikolas had been bought to run the engine room, and was to learn as he went from the old engineer, a steely man nicknamed 'quicksilver'. Nikolas learned quite quickly, and even managed to prevent a meltdown during an attack from pirates. Nikolas also underwent medical training in case any of the other engineers suffered an injury. 12 years into the job, Calodus retired to his home on Vestroya, and his son Restin Teljar took over. Nikolas still works in the engine room to this day, but not under slavic conditions- Restins first act as captain was to free the slaves on board, an act for which Nikolas is ever grateful.
Restin is far too nice a guy - to the point it's almost unbelievable given the world into which he's brought up. Why he obsession with making him perfect in every way? Characters tend to seem more real if they have a few flaws (they also tend to be more fun to play).
The ship's crew might be virtual, or even literal, slaves but this is the 41st millennium and slavery is common-place. Even if he made his crew free it would be a symbolic act for most - the ship is their life, their home, the only place they've known. The void-born are typically distrustful of outsiders and don't feel comfortable planetside. He might have improved their conditions when he freed them but they're institutionalised, they're often born into a caste and might seek to advance among their caste, but to leave the ship is generally unthinkable. Any pressed crew might feel different, and by freeing them he might give them the run of the ship, well of the crew's communal areas, and maybe even allow them to leave, but he's a long way above them (figuratively and literally) and he probably wouldn't have time or the inclination to find out in detail what goes on below decks - that'd be left to underlings who are not likely to want to admit that they can't control the men under their command or that there's any dissent in the ranks.
Finally, when I suggested an enginseer earlier, it wasn't a typo - the engine room would be run by an adept of the Mechanicus. He would have some crew who aren't tech-adepts to do some of the manual labour, but he's likely to lead them to worship the Omnissiah (probably with the reactors being seen as a manifestation of the Machine God), but the rituals for how to control the reactors would not be shared outside those inducted into the hierarchy of the cult.
Ok, a while ago, i changed Restins Fluff so that he was born on vestroya. If i remember rightly, the firstborn son of every vestroyan is to enter service into the imperial army. As you can probably see, Restin is quite the compasionate fellow, and he could not stand the loss of a son. As for Inuisitor/40k relations, im pretty sure that even in the universe inuisitor creates, the fluff wont have changed so much that 1000 years oif tradition would be ingnored.
ok guys, as much of a hater of double posting as i am, im gonna do it for the sake of this thread. This is the s2nd last character in the warband-
Alex Saiben.
Alex is right handed
Note- Alex is female.
WS BS S T I Wp Sg Nv Ld
34 45 41 39 42 52 51 53 46
Special Abilities
• Hipshooting
Equipment:
• Lasgun (heavy millitary magazine, extended barrel, Blueshift doppler attachment, 19 megathule lasing chamber, necromunda discharge generator, bullpup frame.)
• Re-inforced Flak armour on all locations (icluding head). (4 points of armour)
---------------
Apearance
---------------
Thinnish. Black Hair (very long, but is usually hidden inside her helmet.) Blue eyes. No one has ever seen any more of her body than her face, in any way shape or form. Still wears her stormtrooper armour.
---------------
Background:
---------------
Alex, real name 'Alexis', was born on Vestroya, as a twin to hre brother, Samuel. Sam was, as the firstborn son of a family, inducted into the imperial guard at the proper age, trained as a stormtrooper from the beginning. (Samuel and Alex were both part of a noble family on Vestroya) However, disaster struck soon- Sam was killed all along with the remainder of his squad, betrayed by a squad of recently tainted guardsman. This was an act of murder no-one bore witness to, save Alex, who had been followng her brother. She had grown tired of the second borns on vestroya attempting to court her- she did not want to become emotioally involved with anyone. On the day Samuel had returned from traiing, to wish his family goodbye, Alex snck on board the warp-cruiser 'Dutyforged' and hid in the trainin room. Every time people came in to practice, Alex pretended she was here to help the soldiers set up, dressing in a stolen uniform from one of the stock supplers on board. If her brother ever came in, she would hide, although it rarely happened, the storm troopers having their own training room aboard. By the time 'Dutyforged' reached its destination, a war torn death world, Alex was almost just accepted as a crew member, although she was careful to avoid her brother.She returned the uniform, sneakin out into the mountains. She later found her brothers squadron, although it was him and him alone fighting six cultists with his improvised club- an empty lasgun. As she watched her brother die, Alex swore vengance- she snuck up on the celebrating cultists, stealing her brothers highly upgraded lasgun and an ammo cartridge from another storm troopers body. The Cultists fell rather quickly- Alex found that a full year of warp time watching the soldiers training was enough to give her the knowledge to use the weapons she was holding. Alex then took her brothers Armour and euipment, including his face mask, and changed overnight. She bound her womanly features and adopted her brothers name. Five years into service, Alex was discovered. Bunkered down in a building under heavy fire in the middle of an ork warzone, Alex took a shoota round to the stomach. The medic stationed in the building immediately removed her armour, discovering the truth behind her. Later, after she had had a rather cheap operation to heal her, Alex was sentanced to death by her company commander, for lies and deciet, stealing the identity of a soldier and, despite Alex's statements to the contrary, the murder of her brother and his team. At this point, Restin had arrived, Fighting his way through orks with a giant man, a shaggy muscle bound fighter with grenades and a short boy with psychic capabilitys. He had come to resupply the troopers he had heard were stranded here, but when he saw Alex about to be executed, he took offence that a woman, of all things, be executed for the murder of her brother, which he saw as unlikely, and for practicaly volunteering to join a depleted army. Restin killed the executioner, figting his way out with alex in hand. Taking her aboard his ship, Alex was proprerly treated for her injurys and offered a place onboard, keeping an eye on the flight crew. Alex accepted, gaining her a place on the crew, and the ability to hide from her old commanders.
Two things I find odd about the background story:
1) How cruel is she meant to be?! She just sits on a rock and watches as cultists rip her brother to pieces.
2) Restin seems far too nice. Why on earth would he want to recruit someone he hasn't even met that is suspected of lying, theft and murder?
I can't remember if I asked this before, but do you have plans for models for all of these characters? You've written pretty detailed descriptions of them so I'm curious how you plan to actually build each of them? From your comment in the other thread I assume they're going to be done at 54mm - is that right? If so, I'm looking forwards to seeing them.
Alta- she sits on a mountain- even if she did manage to get down in time, she wouldnt be able to save him fully.
And if (sorry for the comparison but,) you were sitting on a mountain an saw your brother being killed by cultists, would you not be a bit too shocked to move for a moment? (again, sorry)
Restin is honourable- and he is Vostroyan too. He knows Vestroyan are too noble to kill members of their wn family ect. ect.
Kaled- 54mm eventually, but 28mm untill i get enough stuff to make them with. Will get pics if i can, but my computers pretty rubbish with images.
Getting into a fight to rescue a woman who is charged with all sorts of crimes simply because "it sounded unlikely, 'cause she's from my planet and we're too noble". Sorry, but that is stupidly naive chivalry and patriotism - there are still a lot of dishonest upper classes.
Also, as there is no denying that she had lied (she had been pretending to be her brother), so if that didn't score some dishonesty points with him, he really is daft.
~~~~~
Also, I find it doubtful Alex (completely untrained) could have fought and beaten cultists where a squad of Storm troopers had failed.
Next, I find the whole idea of her "becoming her brother" unlikely.
Firstly, she's not going to be wearing that armour the whole time. She wouldn't be able to hide behind the helmet all the time, so she'd have an interesting time in the group showers. Bear in mind, there would be regular medical examinations too, not just medical care when injured.
Secondly, even when she is wearing the armour, she's probably five or six inches shorter than her brother (most women are around that much shorter than their brothers), so it wouldn't fit properly.
Thirdly, how dim-witted were her superiors not to notice the changes in movement, voice and skill level?
Forget five years, she'd probably be spotted after five hours.
While people can convincingly pass for a member of the other gender, it is not likely they could pass for any specific individual (even a sibling) - and to do it without realignment surgery would take a lot more privacy than you get in the Imperial Guard.
Quote from: Darksinger on January 07, 2011, 11:56:08 PM
Will get pics if i can, but my computers pretty rubbish with images.
Rubbish in what way? If you tell us the problem maybe someone can help.
Marco- 5 years? I thoug i said 5 months. Sorry. She is rouhly the same height as her brother. Privacy may be a problem though. And the voice thing- you might be able to tell the difference between a women putting on a deep voice behind a mask, and a guy talking normaly behind a mask, but it might convince someone for a while. Might change it to 5 weeks, making the cultists a sole ork nob (one ok nob vs a girl with a high powered lasgun, shes got a decent chance) and makin the ork assault later on the same world.
I never said Restin trsted her completey- he put her on flght crew to keep an eye on her. Also, he is only offended by the murder aspect of her charges, he thinks it ridiculous that a noble woman, who (again, this may not have been clear, but many noble familys would know each other well) he knows from on vostroya, would be charged with killing her own brother.
kaled- I can't tell. It has trouble loading pics, but i have one possible solution. I have a friend with a really good computer, who can probably load my pictures up with no problem. I will get some of the concept art up A.S.A.P.
Quote from: Darksinger on January 08, 2011, 08:42:04 AMYou might be able to tell the difference between a women putting on a deep voice behind a mask, and a guy talking normaly behind a mask, but it might convince someone for a while.
It's not really a "might". Like I said in general, the same applies to the voice. We're not talking about passing for male, we're talking about passing for a specific male. A "put on a deeper voice" might work if a woman simply wanted to pretend to be male, but it wouldn't fool anyone who knew her brother.
The problem is, the frequency spectrum of the male and female voice are different shapes, not just different pitches. While the higher frequency parts resemble each other, the low frequency part of the voice is several semi-tones different, and while someone can usually change the overall pitch of their voice, it takes training and practice to change the frequency of individual parts differently.
Quotemaking the cultists a sole ork nob (one ok nob vs a girl with a high powered lasgun, shes got a decent chance
If anything, an Ork Nob is worse. When Orks get that big, they're a match (or better) for Space Marines.
And the point about an untrained girl defeating something where an entire trained and armoured storm trooper squad failed remains, and there's no flip-flopping of the threat that will suddenly make that plausible.
QuoteAlso, he is only offended by the murder aspect of her charges
So because of that take on a whole load of murder charges himself by attacking her executioners? And bear in mind,
any fight you get into could be your last - it's a lot to risk.
Also, the way it's written implies a distinct lack of honour on his part. You give no implication of any warning, so it just reads like he turns up, doesn't like what he hears, then starts shooting.
If it were to happen at all, then his starting with something like "Sir, where is your honour!? I demand you unhand that girl, or you shall taste Vostroyan steel!" would be more characterful. Still pretty naive, but less so than just starting shooting (which is guaranteed to start a fight).
Quotebut many noble familys would know each other well
Vostroya has a lot of noble families. For two individuals from Vostroya to meet and formerly have known each other is really pushing the bounds of coincidence.
Ok, have you read the imperial guard book? If you have, you should know the story of Guardsman marbo- one of ten brothers, the single survivor of an ork warboss attack. He was a conscript, as i recall, and thats about as good as a woman who as spent a few month in warp, watching the men using their weapons in routine form over and over. He never speaks, supposedly due to trauma- she could be considered a similar case.
Yea, the nob is the sole survivor of a boyz mob, isn't paying attention to the girl and has been injured in a fight- its not ridiculous.
I didnt go into too much detail- he probably said something like that, i just didnt put it in.
Yea, but its still not impossible. It says in her background she met with many noble men who were attempting to court her, bu wasn't interested. Restincould have met up with her, but he wouldnt have been interested either.
First thing that sticks out at me. You're referencing a 40k codex, not the best reference for Inquisitor. Everything there is either inaccurate to the fluff in order to balance the game or is an outstanding example that is unrealistic for a strong narrative game like INQ.
40k is a separate game entirely and should not be used as an argument in this kind of game. 40k is to INQ what Apocalypse is to a Combat Patrol or kill teams, if that analogy helps.
Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 12:25:48 AMOk, have you read the imperial guard book? If you have, you should know the story of Guardsman marbo- one of ten brothers, the single survivor of an ork warboss attack.
And the luckiest son of a bitch going. (And as Elva just said, special characters from a 40k codex do not make a good precedent for an Inquisitor character).
Unless she's going to get a rule like
Pure Luck or
Plain Dumb Luck, I'd still recommend her not being seen until the threat has moved off. (But if you do give her such a skill, don't just tack it on, elaborate a bit in the background)
Next, I think the simplest solution to her pretending to be her brother is it falling apart almost immediately. The actual time she spends pretending to be him seems unimportant - just that she did it, and when she was tried, Restin was there.
QuoteI didnt go into too much detail- he probably said something like that, i just didnt put it in.
I thought you were going to say that. The problem is that you didn't put it in, and you should - it's things like that that add character.
It also makes the whole scene more believable, because as it is, it reads like the "Big Damn Heroes" just turn up and start shooting.
QuoteYea, but its still not impossible. Restin could have met up with her, but he wouldn't have been interested either.
Actually, thinking about it, I really would recommend giving her a luck based trait.
Being rescued from her executioners by a Vostroyan who just happened to have on a one in a million chance met her before? That's pretty fething lucky.
I'd say scrap hipshooting (which implies "firing on the move" training she wouldn't have had), and give her either
Pure Luck or
Plain Dumb Luck instead.
ok Marco, you've convinced me. Pure dumb luck it is. How would that work though? i mean, its not really a special rule, i'd have to make rules for it, and i'm no expert.
Codex reference- It was an analogy (or some such suitable word)- what i meant to say is that Alex not speaking much could be catagorised as a case of trauma. I'll also change the background to make it she is discovered a short time later, whilst pinned down in a building. here is a basic wording of what happened (i might re-word the entie thing to be told from a 3rd person viewing of the events, a little like Altas background wriitten for Kaan greystone)-
Restin was there appeasing a request made by Amitius, who heard that some imperials were in trouble with orks and wanted to lend a hand. Restin fought his way to the building side by side with his warband, and had a quet chat with the survivors- selling them a bit of off market ammunition or some other form of 'not strictly legal' inventory. From them, he heard abou a girl who had stolen the identity of her brother, in order to escape the pressures of her homeworld. Restin decided to take a look, and (due to her pure dumb luck, recognised her as one of the women he had met with in his younger days. He immediatly started questioing the commander on why a noblewoman of Vostroya, whom he knew personally, was being executed for the murder of her own brother, who Restin would also, if only breifly, have met. The commander, a paticularily moody senior officer began threatening him to step out of imperial buisness. Amitius got involved, claiming he made it imperial buisness, and the commandr decided it would be best that Restin be put to death for questioning the word of the imperial army. Restin challenged the commander to a duel, stating that, if he won, both he and the girl would be spared and allowed to leave. Should Restin loose, The commander could put them both to death. Restin, obviously, being a far superior swordsman (much to the amusement of Kastan) completely thrashed the officer, who was forced to let them leave. The officer was unfortunate enough to be witnessed by a commisar as he tried to turn his back on his deal- as the officer drew his blot pistol, The commisar shot him, finding it humiliating that such a traitorus man be allowed to lead an army. Restin and his friends then escorted Alex to his ship, and from thee the adventures begin.
Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 08:42:52 PM
ok Marco, you've convinced me. Pure dumb luck it is. How would that work though? i mean, its not really a special rule, i'd have to make rules for it, and i'm no expert.
It is a special rule - you can find it in the article on Kal Jericho.
QuoteThe commander, a paticularily moody senior officer began threatening him to step out of imperial buisness. Amitius got involved, claiming he made it imperial buisness, and the commandr decided it would be best that Restin be put to death for questioning the word of the imperial army.
Is his name Amitius or Amityius? What gives him any authority over a guard commander? Why would a guard commander pronounce sentence on a Rogue Trader, especially without arresting him and putting him on trial first?
QuoteRestin challenged the commander to a duel, stating that, if he won, both he and the girl would be spared and allowed to leave. Should Restin loose, The commander could put them both to death.
Why would the commander agree to that? The commissar ought to shoot the commander for his lax attitude to due process and military law.
Kal jericho? is that a website or something?
Name is Amityius, i sometimes miss the 'y' by accident. He isnt claiming authority over the guardsman, he is simply stating that Amityius was getting involved too, and as both an imperial and one of Restins soldiers, making Restin part of the imperials buisness. Its a somewhat hollow threat. The commander is arrogant and niave, thinking he has the highest authority at the time.
The commisar turned up as the duel began- and he let the duel slide. He thought something along the lines of 'if that guy got himself into this, its his problem what happens.' The commander ccepted the challenge due to his arrogance- he belived himself to be superior to a single nobleman brandishing a sword. Remember, the commander dosent know Restin is a rouge trader, or a swordsman of such merit.
Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 09:43:44 PMKal jericho? is that a website or something?
Sort of. It's a little saddening to see that people still miss the work that went into dredging up the articles that Games Workshop had once published for Inquisitor, but I guess it happens.
The specific article is here (http://www.mediafire.com/?8lmfvx6imhc9y08), but I really recommend you just download this bulk pack of all the articles (http://www.mediafire.com/?1h9j7x45hrhtiym) instead.
~~~~~
Anyway, I'd point out that
Plain Dumb Luck and
Pure Luck are different things.
The first is in the Kal Jericho article. The second is one I wrote for Inquisitor Rhodes to represent a different kind of luck (less freakish, in the sense that she gets not quite as good luck, but more regularly).
Personally though, for this, I'd recommend
Plain Dumb Luck.
I think the fact that so much explaining needs to be done outside of the actual backstories themselves is a sign of warning. If you where to get these published lets say, the average reader wouldn't have you around to explain it all, unless its touched on in the work itself. A piece should be relatively self explanatory as most other options are unrealistic(though it is literature so there are some exceptions, but I can see none in this case). I myself rework my characters' write ups to a certain extent if I didn't explain something properly or I agree that a change would be necessary.
What I'm trying to say is, you're spending more time trying to justify mistakes(and trust me, everyone makes them) than actually fixing them. Everyone on here is trying to give you feedback, and believe me, they know what they're talking about(especially Marco :P), so its good to take their advice as fact unless you have hard evidence that is contrary, which 99% of the time you won't.
And pleeease read some fluff. I am not the most well read Inquisitor player yet the name Kal Jericho always rings a bell in my mind.
Quote from: Elva on January 09, 2011, 11:03:23 PMbelieve me, they know what they're talking about (especially Marco :P)
Er... what?
Is there some joke going around that I don't know about? In the past two or three days, between the forums and my PM inbox, I seem to have gone from "perhaps worth listening to" all the way into "
THE guy to listen to".
QuoteI think the fact that so much explaining needs to be done outside of the actual backstories themselves is a sign of warning. A piece should be relatively self explanatory.
Well worded.
Quote from: MarcoSkoll on January 09, 2011, 10:02:45 PM
Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 09:43:44 PMKal jericho? is that a website or something?
Sort of. It's a little saddening to see that people still miss the work that went into dredging up the articles that Games Workshop had once published for Inquisitor, but I guess it happens.
Fear not, it is still appriciated by those of us who wrote, contributed to, use or enjoy the articles. It's just a shame my only claim to fame as a GW author is now in your archive :D
Quote from: MarcoSkoll on January 09, 2011, 11:25:46 PM
Er... what?
Is there some joke going around that I don't know about? In the past two or three days, between the forums and my PM inbox, I seem to have gone from "perhaps worth listening to" all the way into "THE guy to listen to".
Long, well argued indepth discussion and disection of the topic at hand will do that for your reputation. I got it on another forum when it comes to archery. Just relax and bask in the respect ;)