Basically it's been a goodly while since I did any proper writing, and as you can see I'm pretty damn rusty, but I knocked this up a few days ago and after giving it a quit buff and a shine I've posted it here. I've got got a few ideas that might spawn a thread or even an RP if people are interested in my peculiar brand of weirdness.
Originally I tried to write this in the third person, but... the first person is like Easy Mode for me. I struggle when it gets turned off.
Thoughts, criticisms, etc?
A very intriguing start. Infectious insanity is always a good start to a 40k story.
As far as it being an RP, I think that probably wouldn't gel with the retrospective format you've started.
Quote from: Inquisitor Sargoth on January 27, 2012, 02:19:02 AMOriginally I tried to write this in the third person, but... the first person is like Easy Mode for me.
I'm not complaining.
Personally, it's not a bad thing for me to write in first person. It usually means fewer characters end up heroically appearing just in the nick of time to save the day. Not that a character being the big damn hero is necessarily bad, but I can overdo it at times.
If this does turn into a RP then I agree, you might lose the (presumed) effect this intro has on the reader, but if it does, then it might take a different, possibly better direction depending on where you steer it. In any case, I'm still on Facebook so you know where to find me.
It is very interesting and well-written as always.
As an RP it could be very interesting, somehow I've had far too few characters go completely insane so far, this could easily rectify that.
Quote from: MarcoSkoll on January 27, 2012, 04:41:33 AM
As far as it being an RP, I think that probably wouldn't gel with the retrospective format you've started.
Oh, as fun as it sounds I wasn't planning for an RP to take place in flashbacks. Think of this as an introduction of sorts, a prologue. There's lots of options to be taken up - tell the story of the (doomed) Erich or even Tillinghast, see who else came to investigate, perhaps even the story of what became of the marines of the Night Watch...
With the going insane thing, my hope is to have a more original and unusual spin on it. The idea of being almost a tainted enlightenment of sorts, and perhaps even something more...
If that's how it'll pan out then I'd be a lot more open to this being a RP (assuming that's still the angle you want to take) -- heaven knows I have enough characters that could reasonably be drafted into a Descent Into Madness story.
I'm extremely busy for the next several months, but if you can tolerate occasional and poor contributions, count me in!
Right. If people are interested, I can build this into one or more threads.
Options -
A) The initial investigation with Tillinghast and Vyzier. Forgone conclusion, sure, but plenty of scope for wacky hijinks with invstigators and conscripts under their command. (or not...)
B) The Night Watch arrive. A shorter, more actiony thread probably even heavier on the horror than the others and with the rare option to play as marines (also, the Night Watch have no background so could be created communally. Plus they have an awesome name).
C) Erich's follow-up. All we know for certain is that he's not gonna make it.
If people get involved, start building characters and I will be generating plot hooks and individual secrets that pertain to what's going on, piece of a larger puzzle for you to all enjoy building.
This is going to be pretty heavy on the horror and investigation themes in gneral but there's plenty of scope for gunplay, swordplay and the scale is going to be pretty damn epic. I cut my teeth on the Amon Dull saga and I want something big, damnit. I don't want to put strict limits on power levels either way, because I care primarily about roleplaying and writing, and a well-written ganger with a laspistol can save the day just as easily as a Grey Knight (though, yeah, no Grey Knights please).
If we go with options A or C, then I can scale a trio of characters up from gangers to Guardsmen to Storm Troopers, depending on the eventual power level you go for. Alternatively I can condense it down to a single character, but I've a surfeit of characters I need to justify actually doing something with.
This is largely dependent on yourself, though.
Right. Had a lot of ideas for this while walking and I think it's about ready to become an RP. Annoyingly busy the next few days so not sure when I'll get time to write a proper opener, but in short I'm plumbing for option C. With some interesting twists...
I'll add relevant detail (knowing me far too much detail) on our as-yet unnamed planet over the next few days. It emerged from the warp storm in pretty great shape, population and all, which rather begs the question of what happened to the Night Watch...
The opener will detail Erich setting off to torpedo this world to hell with some (grumpy) Space Marines and introduce what's been going on. Once characters are created and we're ready to go you'll all be receiving a secret (tailored to something you character would be able to find out). So what sort of characters am I looking for?
The way I see it, characters for this have all come to this world because they know what Erich knows, or more likely slightly less. Perhaps they're an Inquisitor who used to work with or know Vyzier, or the acolyte (current or former) of one. Perhaps their astropath was murdered and they've been finding out why. Maybe they intercepted messages themselves and know the danger/potential of what is here. The main question you want to ask is whether you're here to investigate, destroy or exploit (there's potential for an incredible psychic bioweapon here, if you've not heard the full truth, and a chaos cultist would happily see the Imperium ripped apart by madness and mutation).
Your main options are Inquisitors, Interrogators, acolytes and other Inquisitorial servants, other Imperial agents (investigating Ministorum clerics, tech-priests, Adeptus Arbites officials, an enterprising Rogue Trader, an Adeptus Terra tax-collector sent to get the tithe coming again with no idea of what's going on...) or freelancers looking to exploit the situation (chaos cultists, hereteks, pirates, Rogue Traders again, possibly even aliens – a riskier option and limited only to official species, please). You can't play a local, but if you fancy a lower-level character having your main character be a servant/assistant to someone higher up (who can quickly be bumped off) might be a fun way to play a character out of their depth. Power level is very variable – you could be a Malleus daemonhunter with enough gear to bring down a Bloodthirster or an adept with a slide rule and a change of underwear – the danger is the same but you'll be playing a different game.
Finally, we're going to working with an Insanity Points system. Bear in mind this is a specialised form of insanity – if your character is already insane in some fashion it doesn't figure on this scale. Witnessing things affected by... whatever is going on.... will cause you to gain these points. You might have one or two as part of your origin, if you intercepted or otherwise encountered tainted messages from Tillinghast and the like. General witnessing is usually only a point, but if things are weirder or your exposure is prolonged you'll be looking at d2/d4 or even d6 points being gained. There's a d10 being saved for the finale, too...
Stage 0
0-10 points: No effect. Your character is no more insane than they were before, though at higher levels they're less likely to be disturbed by phenomena and may start to notice things about it they can't put into words...
Stage 1
10-15: You begin to act oddly, believing yourself on the verge of enlightenment, or some great revelation or realisation. You may become fascinated by angles, numbers (arithmomania is fun), cryptology and the like, or possibly you begin to take an interest in history or literature, convinced that it is entirely wrong but there's a kernel of truth to be found... It is possible to resist the compulsions, however, and most characters will attempt to do so and try to hide them from their companions. Denial is pretty much a given at this stage – even if you're aware of the contagious madness, you're unlikely to admit you have it. If you've witnessed the transformation firsthand, however, it's hard to deny. Realising what is happening may cause you to gain or, if you're lucky, lose Insanity Points according to roleplaying.
When giving in to compulsive behaviours or in moments of absent-mindedness you may display weaker forms of the 'knacks' seen at the next stage, such as working through the night with no ill-effects, not leaving footprints on a muddy track or forgetting to breathe for a few minutes.
Stage 2
15-20: The strange behaviours are magnified. Firstly you start to consciously notice the 'underlying pattern', though attempts to explain it tend to come off as raving (and can cause others to gain Insanity Points). Sadly, those unaware of their infection (and even some who are) tend to be rather vocal about what they have realised, seeing it as a scientific or philosophical breakthrough. Notably, the things you are becoming obsessed with are starting to go wrong around you. Numbers add up differently, history books are different...
You also gain a 'knack' or two. Knacks are essentially a rule of reality/biology your character can choose to ignore at will. They're not overpowering or showy, but include being able to function without sleep, no longer requiring liquid or air, being able to levitate a few centimetres from the ground, turning transparent so that bullets and blades pass through you, being unable to be burned by fire... All useful, but not overpowering. Your character might resist using their power(s) if a loyalist, or embracing them if traitorous or of a more inquiring/investigative mind. You'll also suffer the early warning signs of mutations (see next stage) in things like mysterious lumps and tender spots, toothaches, itching and the like...
Stage 3
20-24: The character is no longer able to resist their compulsions, and they're getting more and more of them. The character is now permanently subject to whatever knack(s) they learned before, unable to switch it off at any point.
They're also starting to mutate. These mutations are entirely random – they follow a certain set of rules. They focus primarily on extra faces/heads and arms and frankly are not useful – no claws or fiery breath. A secondary torso may grow from your stomach, Total Recall style. Eyes and faces might form like blisters on your back. Fingers might start to bifurcate. More horrifying things like teeth and tongues turning into fingers or growing another body like a Siamese twin is also possible, but this will take a while. Mutation does not occur overnight, though it;s still rapid enough for you to have two mouths to feed within a week.
At 25 points characters are unplayable. Though this is unlikely to happen to many, if any, players, it should be borne in mind that it is possible characters will go irrevocably insane and even die.
Characters crossing a threshold experience a sensation of profound understanding but are not immediately subject to the next stage's effects (you don't suddenly gain a knack or mutation the second or even hour you gain the crucial Insanity Point(s)).
It's also worth noting that it's possible for people at low levels of madness (say 0-10/15 points) to recover, but people in the higher stages are not going to be getting better.
I'll have a think on the bus, but at the moment I can put either one, two or three characters forward, numbers entirely dependent on you. I've detailed above how potentially variable these characters can be (ranging from Imperial Guardsmen to Storm Troopers to Adeptus Arbites to possibly an Interrogator) -- this depends on what would fit better and/or whether it would make sense for me to play someone else's acolytes. Really depends on what you think would work best.
tl;dr What would work better? A lone agent (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiHero), a pair (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdventureDuo) or a trio (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PowerTrio)?
How would you feel about a confessor coming to investigate the faith and purity of the population?
Quote from: Dolnikan on February 02, 2012, 09:21:44 AM
How would you feel about a confessor coming to investigate the faith and purity of the population?
Fine by me. Is he officially sanctioned or doing this off his own back? This will of course affect how he's welcomed (though not so much as you might think).
Quote
tl;dr What would work better? A lone agent, a pair or a trio?
Any is fine by me. Duo/trio might make insanity dynamics interesting if one gets ahead of the other/s on the slippery scale. Imperial guardsmen seem an odd choice unless you're going for the 'servant becomes protagonist' route, but maybe you have a cunning ploy?
Also, I think you're all going to be coming on the same ship (probably a big Chartist vessel), though you've probably not met each other. Depending on your character's rank and other things they might end up on the bridge or otherwise in a position to hear things from official channels, but don't let this deter you from playing as middle-of the line and lowest of the low characters - there are other ways of finding things out...
The confessor will be an officially sanctioned one I think. I should finish his background somewhere in the next few days.
Excellent stuff. Should get cracking on an introductory post over the weekend, but still plenty of time for people to join.
It went a bit faster than expected, especially because I looted the background of an old, never built character for Inquisitor I found in my files.(note to self, get that mess organized some day) If anyone has suggestions, please tell me.
NAME: Formosus
AGE: 47
RANK: Confessor
APPEARANCE: Formosus is tall and powerfully built and under his robes he is heavily scarred from his flaggelation. He has short brown hair in a tonsure. He has a deep, booming voice, speaking with authority. He wears red robes over a white underrobe and a red mitre decorated with golden skulls. On his breast he wears the rosarius given to him when he was ordained as a full confessor. At his side he always carries a book containing his martyred master's sermons.
BELIEFS: Formosus is a devout servant of the Emperor. He beliefs to be doing His work and thinks that the amount of damage caused is irrelevant, only the pure have the right to exist.
PERSONALITY: His faith is the central part of Formosus. With every action he seeks to honour the Emperor. He however has a tendency to think that the Emperor has chosen him over the many others making him somewhat self-important.
ABILITIES: Formosus is a great public speaker and always knows what to say to a crowd. He is a decent fighter with his chain-axe, his hooting is far less impressive. Having just recovered from the poison is voice lacks the strength to carry as far as it once did.
WEAPONS: Formosus carries a crosier and under his robes he has a hidden revolver. Attached to his robes he wears a chain-axe.
HISTORY:
965M41 Born on Meinong IV, probably to some of the teeming masses of pilgrims and left as a foundling at the shrine of Santa Aurelia Taking Pity On The Poor.
969M41 Sent to the Schola Progenium where his faith is exemplar.
984M41 Ordained as a priest
985M41 Seconded as an assistant to confessor Bonifatius.
991M41 Writes part of his master's famous sermon delivered to the masses of Hylas Hive on Doristor Prime after
which tens of thousands of heretics turn themselves in.
994M41 Leads a band of Frateris Militia purging a cell of the coven of the seventeen eyes on Braslar.
996M41 Uncovers the Worshippers of the Great Saints on Glundh to be secret worshippers of the darkness leading to a great series of purges by his master and even the Inquisition.
999M41 Assists in the events leading to the Day of the Thousand Pyres on Sagitta.
002M42 Wounded in his left lung by a sniper while preaching on Valstar Tertius.
004M42 Is ordained as Confessor without parish, free to roam the Imperium guarding the population from twisting their faith.
007M42 Rouses the masses on Guadon II leading them to purge witchcraft from their midst, in the aftermath he is poisoned by a traitor in his own ranks.
008M42 Confessor Bonifatius is martyred on Yoko Prime while inspiring the planet's liberators.
011M42 Finally recovers from the poison enough to continue the work of the Emperor.
Consider my interest well and truly piqued.
I'm leaning towards a character with Xanthite sympathies. Details to come.
Ruaridh
NAMES: Alexander Carvolye and Johanna Rhommel
RANK / AFFILIATION: Storm Trooper / Imperial
PHYSICAL STATS:
Date of Birth: (3)030973.M41 (Alexander), (3)403975.M41 (Johanna)
Place of Origin: Erstenheme, Segmentum Pacificus (both)
Gender: Male (Alexander), Female (Johanna)
Height: 186cm/6'1" (Alexander), 159cm/5'9" (Johanna)
Weight: 63kg (Alexander), 71kg (Johanna)
Physical Appearance (Alexander): Tallish, fair skin, sandy hair cut short, fairly large grey eyes. Small nose, slightly crooked after being broken and healed improperly. Faint burn scar across right cheek.
Physical Appearance (Johanna): Short auburn hair, pale skin. Broad shoulders. Slight, but noticeable, scarring around bionic left eye. Small mouth, with a scar running from her lip down to her chin.
Attire (both): Full Storm Trooper carapace (black/tan). Dark blue and grey coveralls when off-duty.
Personality/Beliefs (both): Devoted to the Emperor, but neither has really given matters of faith much further thought. Alexander is the more reserved, but approachable and amenable of the two, whereas Johanna is more outspoken and aggressive (though both are well aware of their place in the chain of command, and show deference to their superiors)
Abilities/Strengths/Weaknesses (Alexander): Alexander displays a definite aptitude for ranged combat, and given the choice he will engage an enemy in a firefight rather than at close quarters. Alexander prefers to act as his unit's designated marksman, and while lacking the patience or skill of a dedicated sniper, his keen eyesight and steady aim allows him to land a killing shot with a hellgun beyond its standard accurate range. Alexander is also trained in demolitions and lockbreaking.
Abilities/Strengths/Weaknesses (Johanna): A naturally aggressive woman, Johanna's belligerence lends itself well to her role on the front lines, and as such she always favours a direct approach, whether on the battlefield or away from it. Johanna rarely shies away from close-quarters fighting and is equally at home with a gun in her hands as with a combat knife and a grenade. Johanna is also an accomplished long-distance runner, and even in carapace armour she will not tire easily.
Weapons and Equipment (both): Full Storm Trooper carapace armour. Erstenhemer KD-7 "Partisan" hellgun, backpack power source. Two "Gila" combat knives. Four frag grenades. Audiovisual autosense suite integrated into helmet.
Additional Wargear (Alexander): Mars-pattern M.38 red dot sight on hellgun. Armageddon No.3 laspistol, two spare charge packs. Five tubes melta-gel, three metres det-cord (coiled). Bio-scanner auspex.
Additional Wargear (Johanna): Erstenhemer RN-5 "Morningstar" combat shotgun, 10-GA, ten-shot box variant. Five spare magazines (incendiary ammunition). Two krak grenades.
Subservient To: Terrance Greensail, Interrogator to Inquisitor Hesh
All seem fine so far. Helser, would be great to have you on board.
With regards to Rhommel and Carvolye's boss, you could create one yourself? Perhaps their master sent them alone, or with an Interrogator or other acolyte in charge? It's fun to have a designated redshirt to kill off, too.
Quote from: Inquisitor Sargoth on February 03, 2012, 08:39:00 PM
With regards to Rhommel and Carvolye's boss, you could create one yourself?
I may just do that, although I'm trying to thin down the number of characters on my spreadsheet, not make hundreds more :P (EDIT: Found a stray name, am running with it)
About personal histories; I'm tempted to skip that on the grounds that they're Storm Troopers. Being as Storm Troopers are more or less groomed for Inquisition service during their time at the Schola Progenium (with the majority being palmed off onto the Guard), any backstory I create could apply just as easily to Rhommel and Carvolye as to (quite literally) any other pair of Storm Troopers, and vice versa, since it would just end up reading like any other Storm Trooper's resumé.
Aforementioned caveats about being busy as, but this is too cool to ignore, so:
Character:
Inquisitor Kerralyn Merriweather
History:
Age had turned Inquisitor Ibrahim Ivanovych Sammael to all manner of radicalisms and heresies, and although his Istavaanian leanings made the concept of proteges abhorrent, he still thought he could pick and nurture more suitable inquisitors than "the usual procession of puritan dotards". So, in his fourth century of life, he resolved to look among the nearby schola progenium for their most able candidate, and take them 'under his wing'. He alighted on one girl in early adolescence: extremely precocious, arrogant, and borderline insubordinate. Her name was Kerralyn Merriweather.
Sammael proved an eccentric mentor. Most of Merriweather's tutelage consisted of scholarship (Sammael gave her free access to his library, with no attempt made to protect her from the books) and debate (routinely him playing 'daemon's advocate' for all manner of heresies - he concealed the fact that many of these he sincerely believed). The occasional field-work and combat were uneventful successes. Sammael hoped that a young mind, not normalized to usual presumptions, prescriptions, and taboos would rapidly gravitate to some interesting radicalism. He was disappointed: Merriweather's researches, although sufficient to have her purged by Sammael's peers, became more cautious; and although Sammael generally won their arguments, she remained a (deeply conflicted) Amalathian. Despite this, Sammael respected and valued her company - he found competent ideological foes a rare commodity.
True to form, Sammael contrived to have Merriweather raised to full inquisitor half way through her third decade - considered by most outrageously young, but Sammael reasoned he had nothing left to teach, that she would survive if she was good enough, and it would make an interesting experiment. He was a member of a loose diaspora of radicals, united by little more than contempt for inquisitorial orthadoxy, and few favours were needed to find those needed to ratify. Sammael left Merriweather on the nearest hive with a seal, a considerable amount of money, and a promise he'd check up on her.
Merriweather was grossly inexperienced, and her (relative) orthadoxy put her out of set with the only inquisitors she knew. She began carefully, slowly gathering a core of staff and network of safe-houses and associations in-system, financing herself through a mix of shrewd investment and corruption. She showed a knack for 'arms length' intervention, seldom interacting with but manipulating the artifice of Imperial power to put down low-level rebellions and occasional cults. She attended her first conclave a few years later, and although considered a curio by the radicals and a reckless aberration by the puritans, she earned some measure of respect from both for her intelligent remarks in counsel and reports of her elegant case-work.
Sammael and Vyzier had a tangential relationship of contempt tinged with mutual respect. He was one of those she black-mailed with past heresies to elevate Erich. Although Sammael might well have done so without being threatened, his injured pride led him to try and concoct post-mortem revenge. He had kept enough tabs on Vyzier to hear of her purge around the planet, and that it's warpstorm had ended. Sammael surmised whatever was going on was important to Vyzier, and, better he suspected whatever it was could be exploited for his own ascension. However, he could not act without triggering Vyzier's threat. Yet his virtually unknown student could.
He tracked down Merriweather in the same system he left her. He told her of the planet's history, and whatever other information he could glean to persuade her of it's importance. Merriweather agreed, realizing she should do more than police a system, and booked passage via a series of traders to investigate what has happened. Sammael resolved to follow her after a couple of years - long enough for Vyzier's threats to have passed, but hopefully short enough to ensure the situation was resolved to his advantage. If Merriweather perished, too bad; if not, he was sure he could overcome her if necessary when he arrived himself.
Now:
Merriweather is a tall, white, brown haired women between youth and middle age. Her dress is nondescript, an electoo on her left hand the only mark of her involvement with the inquisition. She is quiet, determined, ruthless, and ferociously intelligent. Without any anchoring in her formative years of what she should think, her beliefs are a syncretic mix of blasphemies: agnostic regarding the emperor, considering chaos as mistaken philosophy rather than profound evil, and others. Her in-practice tendency to amalathianism and protection of imperial structures, as well as her secrecy, help conceal these in-principle heresies.
She is a reasonable duellist and a mediocre markswoman, meticulously trained but broadly untested, and tries to compensate with the quality of her wargear (power rapier, conversion field, etc). However, she considers an Inquisitor being drawn into personal combat a sign of failure, and prefers stealth, espionage, information superiority and other projections of 'soft power', with direct action performed by manipulated intermediaries.
Merriweather is a latent psyker, and although her faculty was beneath the contempt of the black ships, Sammael's reading material has enhanced it without her knowledge (although not without his). It currently manifests as no more than the occasional telepathic hunches, and Merriweather only has limited insight as to what has happened to her.
Obviously, she can have some random agents/redshirts/whatever too. Please check if you don't mind how I've written them in re. Vyzier etc. (I'm happy to change fiddle as you see fit). Actually, that applies to any other recommendations have to improve character and back-story.
Sammael can be introduced later if you like (or not) - as hinted at, he'd be much more exploity than investigatey, and of a much higher power level.
Merriweather - Your titular character seems fine to me! I love Sammael's history with Vyzier, though rest assured if she knew the full extent of his radicalism she would have attempted to kill him repeatedly (not personally, of course, and not in any way that would ever point to her. This is, of course, also possible. Vyzier was a terrifyingly puritanical soul - she really wasn't kidding about how much she was hated. I'm tempted to actually give a brief account of her funeral - half the guests attended with their identies/faces obscured, the casket was subjected to a lot of subtle and secret auspex scans and no-one touched the food.
Obviously my recent difficulties getting access to the 'clave have meant this fell by the wayside somewhat. I plan to hit this off soon, mind. I also plan - and I won't explain how - to do things in the story only possible with the medium of a forum.
If you also plan to do things via the medium of Facebook, or emails, then do so :P