This is my first proper story, I've got a very clear idea of where I'm coming from with this, but only a fairly vague idea of where I'm going. Therefore I apologise in advance for it not making much sense, there may be some jumping back and forward in the time line, so I'll try and think of a way to make that as easy to understand as possible.
If anyone finds it interesting enough to read through, I'm totally open to all criticism or suggestion and any aspect of it, so please don't hold back.
It seems to be very good to me, I like the character in your characters and so far my interest has been drawn, I'm curious to see what comes next.