I rewrote it and made some changes. I am still not sure about Lucius.
Born in the early M40´s the twins Lazarus and Lucius were raised by the household of the powerfull inquisitor Garrus Vergil. The Lord-Inquisitor was a grim and severe man, who demanded absolute loyality and respect from his sons. Since he expected them to become his herits in title and responsibility, he trained them since their childhood in the art of swordfighting, were Lazarus, the stronger one of the brothers ,soon excelled. Even though both of them showed great ambition, he was never content with their progress. Soon Lazarus began to become rebelious and stood up against the teachings of his father. It was in one of their sparring duels when Lucius,
driven by desperation of never being able to defeat his brother, developed unexpected pyromantic powers and nearly killed his brother in an outburst of magic flames. Traumatized by his injuries which burned half of his face, Lazarus secretely began to develop an unhealthy kind of bloodlust towards his family, especially his father, who could have held Lucius easily back from using his devastating psionic powers.
At the age of seventeen Lazarus surpassed his father Garrus in swordfighting and threw him on the ground with a well-placed blow for the first time in his life. Instead of sheathing the blade and let his fahter stand up for a rematch, he pierced him with the dull practice-blade to the floor. He took the powersword of the Lord-Inquisitor and cut off his limbs and head, laughing euphorically.
When Lucius entered the room, his brother´s only words were: "Do you love me brother? I want to see this world burn".
The twins herited the household of the family Vergil, saying that the murderer of Garrus Vergil was still uncaught and that they would take their revenge by eradicating the organized crime in the hive cities of their homeworld Balint II. Soon people were punished for the smallest crimes and in the year M40.233 the death penalty rate grew to the horrifying amount of 85%.
Other Inquisitors, who investigated on the murder of Garrus, became aware of the frightening developement of the twins, since Lazarus used to execute the culprits with his stolen powersword.
The conclave of the inquisitors sent one of them, the aspiring acolythe Draco Weisehaupt to investigate the reasons for this degenerate behaviour. Lazarus, furious about the conclave interfering in his activities killed the way too unexperienced acolythe (even though he lost his left fore-arm on this occasion, due to a lucky strike of Draco) and sent his burned head back to them.
He was branded "Excommunicate Hereticus", but when the inquisitorial Abitrators attacked the palace of the Vergils, no trace of the brothers was found.
Since then the twins wer repeatedly spotted by imperial institutions, Lazarus randomly killing people in broad daylight, while Lucius incinerates his enemiey with his ferocious powers and laughs over their "funny dances" while their bodies burn to ashes.
Lazarus Vergil, the manhunter
WS BS S T I WP SG NV LD Speed
71 30 60 65 69 55 70 66 52 4
Lazarus is righthanded
Equipment: Power Sword, average bionic arm (left, implant revolver with 6 shots, 1 reload)
Hunter-Mask (Av:2, motiontracker), carapace-armour on upper body, mesh-armour on legs
Abilities: Fast Strike
Lucius Vergil, the flamewielder
WS BS S T I WP SG NV LD Speed
50 54 53 60 52 76 68 56 68 4
Equipment: shortsword (what do you guys propose?)
Abilities: Wyrd-Blinding Flash, Fireball
Quote from: zombie_express on October 24, 2009, 05:15:41 PMBecause the warband will only consist of about 2-3 people I think it is okay to make him this "gifted".
I can't agree. By "Conclave standards", a WS 90 and I 89 character with two power weapons is not merely "gifted" - they are nigh on an insult to nature.
Anyway, I frequently use groups of three models - and pretty average ones at that, so anyone with a trio of uber models wouldn't make the game very fun for me if I had chosen to bring (for example) Inquisitrix Rhodes' entourage to it.
It's very hard to work in terms of "I'm only using 2-3 models, so I can take better ones". I know from experience that the game doesn't work very well like that. What either happens is the powerful models wipe out the others, or the larger group walks over them - seldom does it even come close to balancing out.
Quote(all characteristics random)
As has been said before, random profiles are not good. You are writing the character, it's not the dice's job. The dice don't know whether this character should be skilled at close combat, shooting, or pretty balanced between the two. They don't know whether the character is smart, strong willed, or just plain thick.
As such, you should write your own characteristics, preferably using the guideline descriptions near the front of the LRB as guidance.
Quote...and were declared "enemies of sector" when they destroyed the whole southern hemisphere of their home-planet by summoning a warpstorm of outrageous strength, which led to an instant demonic invasion.
Um... I strongly suspect anyone who cast anything of that magnitude would be annihilated by the sorcerous effort (or just killed by daemons). They'd also likely be corrupted beyond being recognisable as human.
Okay.... All your points are understandable. Our group (we are a group of 3 players, we own one miniature each for now) is new to the inquisitor-game, so we are not that much experienced. Since i asked for it, i am glad you mentioned that he is way too strong. :-\
I am going to rewrite his stats, the power sword stays, but the knife is going to be changed into a normal one.
I´ll kick out the "deflect shot"-thing, it was the idea of a group-mate anyway. I have to think about the "ambidextrous"-ability, too.
The warpstorm-thing: Sorry i can´t express myself the way you do, but i am not new to the 40k-universe. "They triggered the activities which led to the warpstorm" is basically what i meant.
Thy for the quick response! :)
Well, "power" does depend on how your group plays, but I'd seriously recommend coaxing them into playing with more modest characters... after all, the game's a whole lot less fun when you can be pretty certain of making any given roll.
Scaling back across the board means that characters can still be balanced against one another, but with the added elements of chance.
Quote from: zombie_express on October 24, 2009, 06:17:15 PMI am going to rewrite his stats, the power sword stays, but the knife is going to be changed into a normal one.
I´ll kick out the "deflect shot"-thing, it was the idea of a group-mate anyway. I have to think about the "ambidextrous"-ability, too.
Sounds like the way to go.
I should note that as far as handedness goes, I tend to randomise it - although a few characters have their handedness chosen.
Quote"They triggered the activities which led to the warpstorm" is basically what i meant.
That's a little hard to make sense of, but I'll assume you've got some idea of the sequence of actions. As long as it's good enough for you.
Quote from: MarcoSkoll on October 25, 2009, 01:44:49 AM
Quote"They triggered the activities which led to the warpstorm" is basically what i meant.
That's a little hard to make sense of, but I'll assume you've got some idea of the sequence of actions. As long as it's good enough for you.
I´ll write it in german and translate it afterwards instead of making the whole story up in english.
Well done for taking taking the feedback seriously and rethinking his stats and skills. On the otherhand, in game terms having a powersword and a power knife isn't really more effective than just having the power sword, so I see no reason to downgrade the knife. The question is, would the character have access to power weapons?
The background needs a bit of work in my opinion. Firstly if Lucius is a psyker, which reading beween the lines I take it he is, he would have gone through with black ships to become sanctioned as every imperial psyker must. If I recall correctly it takes 5 - 10 years, though while an Inquisitor as a father would all but eliminate the chance of avoiding the black ships, it would ensure that he was returnrd home at the end of the process and not assigned to some imperial organisation.
There is a major leap in the story from them being mass serial murderers to them becoming Inquisitors. Without a very good explanation I find this totally implausable.
The idea of the rebellious sons of an Inqisitor has quite a lot of potential, so I'd expand on it. Why were the banned but not arrested for example?
How did they get away with all their crimes. Their father wouyld have surely diverted enough resources to stop them.
On to stats. My rough suggestions would be:
Ws: I'd say a 'great skill in the art of swordfighting' puts him at the level of a superior expert swordsman, Ws high 70's but without abilities. For every close combat ability I reduce Ws by 5 so that a Ws 65 swordsman with feint would be about as good with a sword as a Ws 70 swordsman. I suggest low 70's and either feint or first strike or high 70's but neither.
Bs: There is no mension in the background of him ever holding a gun, but I assume he would get at least basic training along the way so I suggest low 50's.
S & T: The skill with swords suggests a high level of fitness, but I doubt he is much more physically capable than a proffesional sportsman so I'd suggest mid-high 60's.
I, Wp, Sg, Nv & Ld. Hard to extract from the background, but from his birth I assume that he is above average in all or most of these areas. I'll give you an above average value for each stat as a guideline but you should decide which areas he excels at and which he isn't quite so good at: I high 60's, Wp & Sg low 60's, Nv & Ld low 70's.
I'd loose ambidexterous as it is often taken as an in game boost rather than as justified by the character, and deflect shot as it is a silly skill that only the supernaturaly fast or the precognescient would be able to achieve.
He has no guns. Unless there is a particular reason I'd give him a token laspistol sidearm.
I edited the first post.
Lucius might benegit from a force rod. Would be interesting, though there would have to be a background justification for it.
I'd suggest him also taking it from his murdered father, that way they both have a reason to collude in his death.
How are the twins getting from world to world? Are they simply renegades or actively involved with the chaos gods?
What motivations do they have other than Destruction for Fun?
Quote from: Adlan on October 25, 2009, 05:24:06 PM
Lucius might benegit from a force rod. Would be interesting, though there would have to be a background justification for it.
I'd suggest him also taking it from his murdered father, that way they both have a reason to collude in his death.
That is an idea i had myself already, since they have to have some kind of heritage from their "deceased" father.
Quote from: Adlan on October 25, 2009, 05:24:06 PMHow are the twins getting from world to world? Are they simply renegades or actively involved with the chaos gods?
What motivations do they have other than Destruction for Fun?
I didn´t spent a thought on this, but i guess they are renegades killing for fun and for fun alone. Blessings of some gods would come in quite handy, but i am not sure of it yet. They will travel as blind passengers on different ships, maybe someday they will even be able to take the whole crew hostage oder shipnap a black ship? I really don´t know yet.
Why didn't Lazarus' hatred extend to his brother? Lucius was the one who burnt him after all.
And scars can be scary, so, y'know. On a dark enough night, maybe, he might look pretty "Fearsome".
Also, I'm not sure if Excommunicate Hereticus is appropriate. Heresy can be slapped on most anything in the Imperium, but I tend to think killing an Imperial acolyte would be more Traitorous than heretical. And as has been said, they sorta just seem to become Inquisitors outta the blue.
Quote from: zombie_express on October 25, 2009, 06:12:21 PM
I didn´t spent a thought on this, but i guess they are renegades killing for fun and for fun alone. Blessings of some gods would come in quite handy, but i am not sure of it yet. They will travel as blind passengers on different ships, maybe someday they will even be able to take the whole crew hostage oder shipnap a black ship? I really don´t know yet.
They don't seem that devoted to Chaos if you ask me. Maybe they might have voices in their heads that lead them to it eventually, but, ah, right now, they seem just plain murderous.
Ship-nap, eh? ;D Most any ship save a Blackship, I reckon. Those don't take on passengers, and they would be very eager to capture that rogue pyromancer, Lucius. Now, before they were excommunicated, it might've worked, as the Inquisition has close ties with the Black ships. Ooo! And what fun they might've had freeing the prisoners!
Even still, you're looking at a flying fortress filled with the nastiest anti-psyker stuff in the Imperium, really, and an veritable army of Stormtroopers that don't mess around. And to tick off the League of Blackships? *sheesh!*
Quote from: GhouraAgur on October 25, 2009, 09:36:55 PMAnd scars can be scary, so, y'know. On a dark enough night, maybe, he might look pretty "Fearsome".
No agreement on this point. I don't agree that disfigurement is enough to make other characters (pretty battle hardened, and likely somewhat scarred themselves) run away in fear.
My thoughts on the matter of Fearsome are well documented in these two posts...
http://www.the-conclave.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=172.msg1728#msg1728
http://www.the-conclave.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=172.msg1758#msg1758
But to sum up, my opinion is that "Generic" Fearsome (Fearsome that affects all comers) should only be applied where the character:
- has a truly foul psychic aura
- possesses the raw muscle power and bulk to tear people limb from limb (which is why I tend to give Marines Fearsome.)
- is so horrifically scarred and visibly injured that the fact they are still moving appears to completely violate the laws of nature. This is in the sense of "If it can survive that, how can we stop it?". (In many cases, the fact they are still moving
will violate the laws of nature.)
- is immediately and inarguably identifiable for whatever other reason as someone where charging them is clearly a useless effort that will just result in exquisitely painful death.
I don't tend to count a "reputation" as being enough to cause automatic Fearsome. Not everyone will know and recognise them, so it's not good enough.
I should note that I do apply "Specific" Fear at times. This is for when a character has a fear of a certain character(s) - frequently because they were soundly thrashed by the object of their fear in the past and have little desire to repeat the incident.
QuoteMost any ship save a Blackship, I reckon.
That depends on whether it's a "Blackship" or a "Black Ship". The former is the Adeptus Astra Telepathica's fleet for collecting psykers, a veritable anti-psyker fortress. The "Black Ships" are merely Inquisition strike cruisers, used for more general Inquisition type stuff - still not to be trifled with though.
Of course, such is the often exaggerated nature of the 40k universe, my first thought for "burn victim" was
(http://loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/2face.jpg)
Which falls perfectly in line with what you said
(or so I think, I mean, really, he's practically half zombie. And zombies are nasty, but a half-zombie? Yikes!)Quote from: MarcoSkoll on October 25, 2009, 10:23:07 PM
- is so horrifically scarred and visibly injured that the fact they are still moving appears to completely violate the laws of nature. This is in the sense of "If it can survive that, how can we stop it?". (In many cases, the fact they are still moving will violate the laws of nature.)
Quote from: GhouraAgur on October 25, 2009, 09:36:55 PM
Why didn't Lazarus' hatred extend to his brother? Lucius was the one who burnt him after all.
And scars can be scary, so, y'know. On a dark enough night, maybe, he might look pretty "Fearsome".
It didn´t extend because he is perfectly aware of the fact, that psionic powers are not easy to control, but also, that the father could have prevented Lucius of kicking Lazarus´ ass by burning him.
You can´t see the scars. He is wearing a mask. :P
Quote from: GhouraAgur on October 26, 2009, 02:25:10 AMWhich falls perfectly in line with what you said (or so I think, I mean, really, he's practically half zombie. And zombies are nasty, but a half-zombie? Yikes!)
A zombie is one thing. That does violate the laws of nature. It's dead, and it's still moving.
"Two Face" is disturbing, but he's still alive. He's not enough to qualify as fearsome, particularly given that many characters may have suffered pretty similar (if not worse) themselves. After all, what are head bionics for?
You've done a great job with the re-write! I'd still suggest a reference to the black ships taking Lucius away for a few year before returning him, or maybe his father arranged private transport to terra to speed it up.
Why is Lazarus' Bs so abysmal? Surely he would have had basic firearms training, I'd buff it to at least 45 or else make a note of his inability to shoot in the background.
As for Lucius' profile, the stats you have are good. For his kit I suggest a chain weapon as it is readily available, unlike force weapons as nice as one would be, and they are effective in combat. Plus they are under used in Inquisitor. Maybe a combat shotgun or some other common long arm would set him off well against his pistol and sword weilding brother. For his armour I'd wait til you have a model and see what he has, as it doesn't seem to be important.
One last thing, he develops pyromancy psychic powers, but this is a far cry from justification of a wyrd power. I'd give him a third power, like burning fist that also affects his weapon, but remove the wyrd prefix.
Quote from: Inquisitor Cade on October 26, 2009, 11:32:48 PM
You've done a great job with the re-write! I'd still suggest a reference to the black ships taking Lucius away for a few year before returning him, or maybe his father arranged private transport to terra to speed it up.
Why is Lazarus' Bs so abysmal? Surely he would have had basic firearms training, I'd buff it to at least 45 or else make a note of his inability to shoot in the background.
I really don´t have an idea how the thing with the black ships actually works. Could somebody explain?
As for Lazarus being a poor marksman: He lost half of his face including his left eye. I think that could affect your ballistic skills negatively, but you are right i didn´t mention it. English is a hard language(always the same excuse). ;)
Quote from: Inquisitor Cade on October 26, 2009, 11:32:48 PMAs for Lucius' profile, the stats you have are good. For his kit I suggest a chain weapon as it is readily available, unlike force weapons as nice as one would be, and they are effective in combat. Plus they are under used in Inquisitor. Maybe a combat shotgun or some other common long arm would set him off well against his pistol and sword weilding brother.
That sounds cool. A Burning staff and a shotgun with burning rounds...... 8)
Quote from: Inquisitor Cade on October 26, 2009, 11:32:48 PMOne last thing, he develops pyromancy psychic powers, but this is a far cry from justification of a wyrd power. I'd give him a third power, like burning fist that also affects his weapon, but remove the wyrd prefix.
I thought 3 powers would be too much, but if the conclave says it´s okay, it IS ok, i gues..^^