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Second Attempts.

Started by Darksinger, December 28, 2010, 01:02:55 AM

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Darksinger

Ok, have you read the imperial guard book? If you have, you should know the story of Guardsman marbo- one of ten brothers, the single survivor of an ork warboss attack. He was a conscript, as i recall, and thats about as good as a woman who as spent a few month in warp, watching the men using their weapons in routine form over and over. He never speaks, supposedly due to trauma- she could be considered a similar case.

Yea, the nob is the sole survivor of a boyz mob, isn't paying attention to the girl and has been injured in a fight- its not ridiculous.

I didnt go into too much detail- he probably said something like that, i just didnt put it in.

Yea, but its still not impossible. It says in her background she met with many noble men who were attempting to court her, bu wasn't interested. Restincould have met up with her, but he wouldnt have been interested either.

Elva

First thing that sticks out at me. You're referencing a 40k codex, not the best reference for Inquisitor. Everything there is either inaccurate to the fluff in order to balance the game or is an outstanding example that is unrealistic for a strong narrative game like INQ.

40k is a separate game entirely and should not be used as an argument in this kind of game. 40k is to INQ what Apocalypse is to a Combat Patrol or kill teams, if that analogy helps.
"Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!!"

MarcoSkoll

Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 12:25:48 AMOk, have you read the imperial guard book? If you have, you should know the story of Guardsman marbo- one of ten brothers, the single survivor of an ork warboss attack.
And the luckiest son of a bitch going. (And as Elva just said, special characters from a 40k codex do not make a good precedent for an Inquisitor character).
Unless she's going to get a rule like Pure Luck or Plain Dumb Luck, I'd still recommend her not being seen until the threat has moved off. (But if you do give her such a skill, don't just tack it on, elaborate a bit in the background)

Next, I think the simplest solution to her pretending to be her brother is it falling apart almost immediately. The actual time she spends pretending to be him seems unimportant - just that she did it, and when she was tried, Restin was there.

QuoteI didnt go into too much detail- he probably said something like that, i just didnt put it in.
I thought you were going to say that. The problem is that you didn't put it in, and you should - it's things like that that add character.
It also makes the whole scene more believable, because as it is, it reads like the "Big Damn Heroes" just turn up and start shooting.

QuoteYea, but its still not impossible. Restin could have met up with her, but he wouldn't have been interested either.
Actually, thinking about it, I really would recommend giving her a luck based trait.
Being rescued from her executioners by a Vostroyan who just happened to have on a one in a million chance met her before? That's pretty fething lucky.

I'd say scrap hipshooting (which implies "firing on the move" training she wouldn't have had), and give her either Pure Luck or Plain Dumb Luck instead.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Darksinger

ok Marco, you've convinced me. Pure dumb luck it is. How would that work though? i mean, its not really a special rule, i'd have to make rules for it, and i'm no expert.

Codex reference- It was an analogy (or some such suitable word)- what i meant to say is that Alex not speaking much could be catagorised as a case of trauma. I'll also change the background to make it she is discovered a short time later, whilst pinned down in a building. here is a basic wording of what happened (i might re-word the entie thing to be told from a 3rd person viewing of the events, a little like Altas background wriitten for Kaan greystone)-

Restin was there appeasing a request made by Amitius, who heard that some imperials were in trouble with orks and wanted to lend a hand. Restin fought his way to the building side by side with his warband, and had a quet chat with the survivors- selling them a bit of off market ammunition or some other form of 'not strictly legal' inventory. From them, he heard abou a girl who had stolen the identity of her brother, in order to escape the pressures of her homeworld. Restin decided to take a look, and (due to her pure dumb luck, recognised her as one of the women he had met with in his younger days. He immediatly started questioing the commander on why a noblewoman of Vostroya, whom he knew personally, was being executed for the murder of her own brother, who Restin would also, if only breifly, have met. The commander, a paticularily moody senior officer began threatening him to step out of imperial buisness. Amitius got involved, claiming he made it imperial buisness, and the commandr decided it would be best that Restin be put to death for questioning the word of the imperial army. Restin challenged the commander to a duel, stating that, if he won, both he and the girl would be spared and allowed to leave. Should Restin loose, The commander could put them both to death. Restin, obviously, being a far superior swordsman (much to the amusement of Kastan) completely thrashed the officer, who was forced to let them leave. The officer was unfortunate enough to be witnessed by a commisar as he tried to turn his back on his deal- as the officer drew his blot pistol, The commisar shot him, finding it humiliating that such a traitorus man be allowed to lead an army. Restin and his friends then escorted Alex to his ship, and from thee the adventures begin.

Kaled

Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 08:42:52 PM
ok Marco, you've convinced me. Pure dumb luck it is. How would that work though? i mean, its not really a special rule, i'd have to make rules for it, and i'm no expert.
It is a special rule - you can find it in the article on Kal Jericho.

QuoteThe commander, a paticularily moody senior officer began threatening him to step out of imperial buisness. Amitius got involved, claiming he made it imperial buisness, and the commandr decided it would be best that Restin be put to death for questioning the word of the imperial army.
Is his name Amitius or Amityius?  What gives him any authority over a guard commander?  Why would a guard commander pronounce sentence on a Rogue Trader, especially without arresting him and putting him on trial first?

QuoteRestin challenged the commander to a duel, stating that, if he won, both he and the girl would be spared and allowed to leave. Should Restin loose, The commander could put them both to death.
Why would the commander agree to that?  The commissar ought to shoot the commander for his lax attitude to due process and military law.
I like to remember things my own way... Not necessarily the way they happened.

Inquisitor - Blood Bowl - Malifaux - Fairy Meat

Darksinger

Kal jericho? is that a website or something?

Name is Amityius, i sometimes miss the 'y' by accident. He isnt claiming authority over the guardsman, he is simply stating that Amityius was getting involved too, and as both an imperial and one of Restins soldiers, making Restin part of the imperials buisness. Its a somewhat hollow threat. The commander is arrogant and niave, thinking he has the highest authority at the time.

The commisar turned up as the duel began- and he let the duel slide. He thought something along the lines of 'if that guy got himself into this, its his problem what happens.' The commander ccepted the challenge due to his arrogance- he belived himself to be superior to a single nobleman brandishing a sword. Remember, the commander dosent know Restin is a rouge trader, or a swordsman of such merit.

MarcoSkoll

Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 09:43:44 PMKal jericho? is that a website or something?
Sort of. It's a little saddening to see that people still miss the work that went into dredging up the articles that Games Workshop had once published for Inquisitor, but I guess it happens.

The specific article is here, but I really recommend you just download this bulk pack of all the articles instead.

~~~~~

Anyway, I'd point out that Plain Dumb Luck and Pure Luck are different things.

The first is in the Kal Jericho article. The second is one I wrote for Inquisitor Rhodes to represent a different kind of luck (less freakish, in the sense that she gets not quite as good luck, but more regularly).

Personally though, for this, I'd recommend Plain Dumb Luck.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Elva

I think the fact that so much explaining needs to be done outside of the actual backstories themselves is a sign of warning. If you where to get these published lets say, the average reader wouldn't have you around to explain it all, unless its touched on in the work itself. A piece should be relatively self explanatory as most other options are unrealistic(though it is literature so there are some exceptions, but I can see none in this case). I myself rework my characters' write ups to a certain extent if I didn't explain something properly or I agree that a change would be necessary.

What I'm trying to say is, you're spending more time trying to justify mistakes(and trust me, everyone makes them) than actually fixing them. Everyone on here is trying to give you feedback, and believe me, they know what they're talking about(especially Marco :P), so its good to take their advice as fact unless you have hard evidence that is contrary, which 99% of the time you won't.

And pleeease read some fluff. I am not the most well read Inquisitor player yet the name Kal Jericho always rings a bell in my mind.
"Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!!"

MarcoSkoll

#68
Quote from: Elva on January 09, 2011, 11:03:23 PMbelieve me, they know what they're talking about (especially Marco :P)
Er... what?

Is there some joke going around that I don't know about? In the past two or three days, between the forums and my PM inbox, I seem to have gone from "perhaps worth listening to" all the way into "THE guy to listen to".

QuoteI think the fact that so much explaining needs to be done outside of the actual backstories themselves is a sign of warning. A piece should be relatively self explanatory.
Well worded.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Adlan

Quote from: MarcoSkoll on January 09, 2011, 10:02:45 PM
Quote from: Darksinger on January 09, 2011, 09:43:44 PMKal jericho? is that a website or something?
Sort of. It's a little saddening to see that people still miss the work that went into dredging up the articles that Games Workshop had once published for Inquisitor, but I guess it happens.

Fear not, it is still appriciated by those of us who wrote, contributed to, use or enjoy the articles. It's just a shame my only claim to fame as a GW author is now in your archive :D

Quote from: MarcoSkoll on January 09, 2011, 11:25:46 PM
Er... what?

Is there some joke going around that I don't know about? In the past two or three days, between the forums and my PM inbox, I seem to have gone from "perhaps worth listening to" all the way into "THE guy to listen to".

Long, well argued indepth discussion and disection of the topic at hand will do that for your reputation. I got it on another forum when it comes to archery. Just relax and bask in the respect ;)