New warband idea

[MarcoSkoll]

Background points - radiation exposure. Any other suggestions?

I'd start with "mix and match". Narrowly themed warbands (e.g. Wasteland bandits, Penal legions, etc) tend to become trite - if you take a dislike to their main theme, they're suddenly sunk.
Most warbands for Inquisitor tend to have a much wider range of archetypes than just fighters (and any fighters tend to be more distinct in background), so while interest may wane for individual characters, the warband as a whole retains its appeal.

Anyway, that said:
Many years ago, the skies over (insert planet name here) lit up with a streak of fire, something from the heavens hurtling through the atmosphere to land in the depths of the desert.
With all possible haste, Inquisitor Nkarn sent his finest Interrogator to lead an expedition to investigate the meteor. All contact was lost.

After a week, the interrogator was found wandering the desert sands 50 kilometres from the crash site with no recollection of who he was and his eyes glowing with an unnatural fire. All he could recall was since the meteor a week hence, and he had no idea what had become of his entourage.

Nkarn used void torpedos to destroy the rock from orbit, claiming it tainted by the powers of the warp. The Interrogator was struck from all records and executed. To this day, Nkarn seeks to find his ex-Interrogator's entourage and finally be fully rid of the taint of the meteor.

Of course, that takes the amnesia thing to a real limit, and means that none of the characters would have any concept of their previous life (but that doesn't mean you wouldn't know).
It does widens your perspective though. An interrogator's warband would contain a wide range of archetypes.

worplace relations- How abou she signed up, but escaped before the brainwashing procedures were completed, because she was afraid to loose her mind.

You don't just "sign up". Most people have never heard of the Officio Assassinorum as any more than a legend - killers who cannot be stopped, are never seen, can disguise themselves as anybody (although even most Inquisitors probably don't know the full details of the Callidus) and whose mere presence leads men to suicide.
They find you, and after they have, your chance of escape is just about nil - they don't let anyone walk out of there knowing some of the Imperium's greatest secrets.

There are more assassins than just the Officio. I'd suggest her simply having been part of a death cult - perhaps an Imperium sponsored one (which does happen).

insanity- Ok, so he dosent become 'bored of insanity'. I cant exactly think of how to alter it though- Nix was suppossed to change dramaticly.

He's a psyker. Their minds are far more open to the warp, so they're usually a bit more off their rocker.

Rin- He is curious about himself. Rin is not the brightest spark, so dosent understand how he can be oth skilled with his hands and yet unable to write.

So, this "not the brightest spark" has Sg 56? Sorry, I don't buy that.

[Elva]

http://www.airlockalpha.com/node/7054

This is a great article that helped me make some connections that weren't as strong as they could have been. Read this, and compare what you've written to the two movies. If its more like District 9(I'm going somewhere with this, I promise) then you're on the right track. If its more like avatar, than I'd suggest major revisions or burning the draft. And when you do this, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. If something is wrong, don't try and justify it, explore why you are receiving criticism and how you can manipulate the story to be better quality while still doing what you want. Your ideas aren't bad, its just how you go about them that is questionable, which will either make or break them.

The fact is, District 9 is rather comparable to the ideals of Inquisitor especially in the sense of this article. This has actually got me to go back and question some of my works as well, and the truth has been slightly unpleasant yet productive at the same time.

Try and make the connections, it'll sink in better if you accept it yourself rather than it being crammed down your throat.

[Darksinger]

Elva- sorry, but dont really get what your on about. Sorry bout that.

Marcoskoll- That- was a brilliant idea. Its... Do you mind if i use it, or do you need an amnesiac warband any time soon? And  wouldnt that cover most of the other problems? exept the SG 56? (i think i meant for a much lower score

[Elva]

Allow me to understand the situation. First, did you read the article? Because if not then the whole thing won't make sense what so ever. Heck, you don't even have to have seen much of the movies, if any. This is basically a super condensed version of 0_o's movie list technique, which I've found to be effective in improving the quality of one's work yet rather daunting at the same time. And if you didn't bother to read it, then that should set off some serious alarm bells because it means that you didn't spend the time to properly take a look at friendly advice, which is the whole purpose of the Conclave.

If you did read it, and it still made no sense, then reread and think hard about it. I'm pretty sure that post contained everything that it needed to be effective. I had some rather similar issues and misconceptions when I first started playing, in fact the half eldar thing was eerily identical. So, logically, I gave advice that has assisted myself greatly and that should  for all intents and purposes do the same for you. Its one thing to not understand something, but it is quite another to leave it alone without gaining an understanding of it, which is essentially giving up.

So in short, I'd recommend going at this until you understand, by reading, rereading and mulling it over until you can formulate a conclusion. Trust me, if you get what I'm trying to say, its rather likely that you'll be able to see the errors pointed out here and fix them ahead of time thereby receiving a more favourable complement to criticism ratio. Everyone will win.

[Darksinger]

ok, elva, i re-read the article about 3 times. I think i made a few connections, but correct me if im wrong. My background is a little too improbable, a bit like avatar. There are a few too many characters to grap at once, because of the protagonists, the inquisitor and the employer, the trader ect.

Marco- Just thinking, wouldnt the amnesia thing force them to forget their combat training too?

[MarcoSkoll]

Do you mind if i use it, or do you need an amnesiac warband any time soon?

Feel free - I'm not a big fan of amnesiac characters. I'm sure if I ever do want one, I can think of another reason.

Marco- Just thinking, wouldnt the amnesia thing force them to forget their combat training too?

It's a warp rock. If you want to selectively write how the amnesia it caused works, you theoretically can. If they remember their skills and knowledge, but not their name, the actual events of their pasts or how they came by their skills/knowledge, then that's an option.

And  wouldnt that cover most of the other problems?

Some of them.
As far as the problems with the raw concept, it gives them more reason to be involved in Inquisitor games, being (even if they are not fully aware of it) of interest to the Inquisition, and it lets you write in a wider range of archetypes than just "ex-soldiers".

As far as issues with each of the characters, it can explain Rin's wavering sanity, certainly.
But I don't think though it will explain away Katrina being an Officio Assassin - she doesn't have the skills to have been one (those guys are more or less a one man warband), there's no indication of her having belonged to any of the temples, and an Interrogator wouldn't be sent around with a "half cooked assassin".
I still say it's better if she was a Death Cult assassin.

~~~~~

Anyway, to elaborate on what Elva is saying...

Both District 9 and Avatar are "science fiction" of a sort.

The reason Avatar is inferior is it reads like James Cameron wrote it when he was six: "This is a blue cat person and he's 10 feet tall! He lives up a tree as tall as the Empire state building, and his planet has floating mountains and plants that glow in the dark. And he rides a dragon!"
It did well because it was a visual spectacular. Entertaining, but it suffered from the same issue as the Star Wars prequels - the story serving the visual effects rather than vice versa.

District 9 is however much more grounded in believability, with aliens that look like they could be actual creatures but at the same time still alien, a story that is about the characters rather than the visual effects, and them not overloading their plate with how much they're asking the viewer to believe and keep track of.
It requires only the barest minimum of suspension of disbelief and it's all in keeping with our own reality - if a spaceship really had arrived above Johannesburg in 1982, you could see the whole thing as actually having happened.

On the other hand, Avatar rejects our reality and substitutes its own.

Demanding a new reality is not an option in 40k (as it is the reality), so Inquisitor's story should be about believable characters who are well grounded in that (pretty grim) reality, rather than using it as a sandbox where you just use whatever ideas have popped into your head.
That is not to say that ideas cannot be adapted into 40k - most can, but you can't just use any and every idea neat.

[Darksinger]

Updated!

-----------------
Background
-----------------
Many years ago, the skies over Pavonis lit up with a streak of fire, something from the heavens hurtling through the atmosphere to land in the depths of the desert.
With all possible haste, Inquisitor Nkarn sent his finest Interrogator to lead an expedition to investigate the meteor. All contact was lost.

After a week, the interrogator was found wandering the desert sands 50 kilometres from the crash site with no recollection of who he was and his eyes glowing with an unnatural fire. All he could recall was since the meteor a week hence, and he had no idea what had become of his entourage.

Nkarn used void torpedos to destroy the rock from orbit, claiming it tainted by the powers of the warp. The Interrogator was struck from all records and executed. Nkarn Still possesses the files on each of the interrogators warband, although the names had been blackened out in the intrests of security. One man was a sharpshooter, recruited from the imperial guard. After him, a storm trooper, who was well reknowned for his many years of non-stop training. Next was a bodyguard recruited from a company command squad, followed by a Female Death Cultist, who was being paid extensive amounts of mony to fight by the inqusitors side. A sister and brother came after them, trained for terminal close encounters. The sister was also trined with a rifle, although she was not quite as effectve at long range. Next came a senior psyker, and lastly a skilled knife fighter from the slums, who fought with the inquisitor when he was attacked by a large gang.

Each of the old retinue chose an alias, because they too are unable to recall their names, but not their combat training. The sniper took the name 'Ausoon, the storm trooper became Gorehan. The bodyguard named himself Nelaz, and the death cultist named herself Katrina. Brother and sister named themselves Lenca and Aaith respectively. Nix was the name the psyker took, and Nix also named the knife figter Rin. Rin couldnt decide on a name, and elected Nix name him. Rin is very devoted to Nix, beliving him to be the only one who can find the answers to the question of their life.

The group eventually converte an old warehouse in the desert into a small fortress, which they camofauged effectively by putting sand all over it and converting a wrecked chimera into the entrance. The group aquired their weapons by chance, when a lost black market trader stumbled upon their home. He was about half a mile away in a travelling market, when he encountered Katrina and Aaith, who seduced him into following them with promises of shelter and good company. Whilst they lured him back to the warehouse, which Nix dubbed ' haven', Ausoon, Rin and Gorehan robbed his transport blind. Upon their return, the three shared out the weaponry they had looted, then disposed of the traders body.

Ausoon took himself a sniper rifle and different ammunition types for it, deciding he wold stick to what he knew.  Gorehan took a shot pistol and a Powerfist lacking a power source.  Nelaz took a bolter and a combat knife, later discovering the bolter to be jam-prone. Katrina took a pair of lengthy knives coated in a halugenogenic venom. Aaith took an enlegthened lasgun and another combat knife, and Lenca took himself a falchion. Lenca's short form hid much strength, although the accident had left him utterly dependant on his sister o reasure him. Nix took a scythe and an old fashioned crossbow wih explosive arrows, which he modifed to come apart in order to carry it. Rin, who was the last to get weapons, actually commented on how the leftovers were exactly what he wanted- two heavy duty combat knives and a double barreled shotgun.

Nix and the others now roam Pavons, fleeing the inquisitor who hunts them. Twice Nkarn has discovered them, but failed on both attempts to apprehend them. The second time, Lenca cut Nkarns leg off, which Nkarn swore vengance for. To this day, Nkarn seeks to find his ex-Interrogator's entourage once again, and finally be fully rid of the taint of the meteor.


--------------------------
Character profiles
--------------------------

Ausoon
right handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
23   67   41   37   28   41   48   51   44   

Special Abilities
• Rock steady aim

Equipment:
• Sniper Rifle (light) with rangefinder
•5 match bullets
•10 armour peircing rounds
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on  head and arms (two points of armour)
• Flak armour on torso, legs, abdomen and groin (3 points of armour)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gorehan
left handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
34   45   43   41   38   48   53   42   54   

Special Abilities
• Quickload

Equipment:
• Shot pistol
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on  head (two points of armour)
• Flak armour on torso, legs, abdomen, arms and groin (3 points of armour)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nelaz
left handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
23   67   41   37   28   41   48   51   44   

Special Abilities
• Hipshooting

Equipment:
• Bolter
•Combat knife
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on  head (two points of armour)
• Flak armour on torso, legs, abdomen, arms and groin (3 points of armour)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Katrina
left handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
76   45   52   48   76   53   58   54   67   

Special Abilities
• Blademaster

Equipment:
• Combat Knife with Hallugnogenic toxins
•Combat Knife with Hallucenogenic toxins
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on all areas exept torso (two points of armour)
•Flak armour on torso (3 points of armour)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Aaith
right handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
51   49   42   45   43   53   46   47   52   

Special Abilities
• Hipshoting

Equipment:
• Combat Knife
•Lasgun (Mars long rifle)
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on all areas exept torso (two points of armour)
•Flak armour on torso (3 points of armour)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lenca
left handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
43   37   86   27   38   45   33   53   44   

Special Abilities
• Deflect Shot
• dependancy (Aaith)
Dependancy- if the character with dependancy (the dependant) moves outwith 6'' of the character he/she is dependant on (the dependee), the dependant will be unable to move. He/she may fight in close combat, but other than that they may not make any other actions, including recovery actions ect. If the dependee moves back within 6'', they will begin to act normally on their next turn. If the dependee is slain, the dependant will move to the dependees body (lay the dependees model down untill the dependant gets there) and stay there for the remainder of the game, although the dependant may act normally other than that.

Equipment:
•Falchion
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on head, arms and legs (two points of armour)
• Flak armour on torso, abdomen, and groin (3 points of armour)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nix
right handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
55   49   58   45   33   73   46   47   72   

Special Abilities
• Leader
• Dissasembled crossbow (Nix must spend 2 actions to build and load his crossbow before he can fire it.

Equipment:
• Scythe (halberd)
•Crossbow (light) Bolts have explosive tips (3d6 damage)
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on all areas exept torso (two points of armour)
•Flak armour on torso (3 points of armour)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rin
right handed.


WS   BS   S   T   I   Wp   Sg   Nv   Ld      
58   34   47   53   37   49   56   37   46   

Special Abilities
• Blademaster
Equipment:
• 2 long-bladed combat knifes (+2 damage in addition to the normal combat knife
• Shotgun (double barreled pump action)
•Cloth-and-leather arnour on all areas exept torso and left arm (two points of armour)
•Flak armour on torso and left arm (3 points of armour)

[Frostspear]

Nkarn used void torpedos to destroy the rock from orbit, claiming it tainted by the powers of the warp...Twice Nkarn has discovered them, but failed on both attempts to apprehend them. The second time, Lenca cut Nkarns leg off, which Nkarn swore vengance for. To this day, Nkarn seeks to find his ex-Interrogator's entourage once again, and finally be fully rid of the taint of the meteor.

This guy comes across as a fairly strict puritan and, as such, what's to stop him destroying the entire planet? Bearing in mind that there are eight confirmed, dangerous, warp-tainted mutants that he has a personal responsibility over confined, for the moment, on this seemingly worthless desert planet. Or perhaps he could requisition a larger force to sweep the planet...the meteor business seems quite a high priority for him.

And is it Pavonis or Pavons? I would personally recommend the latter, considering that there is already an established Pavonis in 40k lore.

I think you're probably selling yourself a bit short on some stats as well, although these are just my personal, perhaps slightly too high opinions;

Ausoon's strength and toughness seem a tad low for a guardsman, and his initiative very much so - surely even a guardsman designated as a sharpshooter would have received some form of basic training in order to join the guard in the first place...unless they were a conscript, in which case they probably would only be barely competent with a lasgun, definitely not experienced with a sniper rifle.

Gorehan seems just generally underpowered for a storm trooper; one of the most skilled and devoted unaltered humans...especially one

well reknowned for his many years of non-stop training.

Likewise, Nelaz wouldn't have made a stellar company command bodyguard...initiative of 28 is quite spectacularly slow.

Lenca's strength/toughness discrepancy seems rather extreme -  that's really very strong for an unaltered human, and it would most certainly translate to a similarly high toughness if he was actually that strong. Also;

• dependancy (Aaith)
Dependancy- if the character with dependancy (the dependant) moves outwith 6'' of the character he/she is dependant on (the dependee), the dependant will be unable to move. He/she may fight in close combat, but other than that they may not make any other actions, including recovery actions ect. If the dependee moves back within 6'', they will begin to act normally on their next turn. If the dependee is slain, the dependant will move to the dependees body (lay the dependees model down untill the dependant gets there) and stay there for the remainder of the game, although the dependant may act normally other than that.

It might make more sense to enforce that the dependant character should spend as many actions as required to get back within 6", à la the Bodyguard rules. Perhaps an adaptation of "I'm with her".

In addition, surely psychic abilities would count as combat experience that they apparently haven't forgotten. As such, I find it odd that Nix, as a senior psyker, seemingly knows no powers.

Finally, barring some introductory scenario in which they manage to make it off world in some semblance of freedom (made all the more difficult by their glaringly obvious glowing eyes) designed solely for the sake of this one team, I don't see how you would intend to play them without a bit more background with regards to how they get away.

PS. I'm not sure how glowing eyes would work in the first place without blinding the subject, considering that you haven't specified some sorcerous exception.

[MarcoSkoll]

This guy comes across as a fairly strict puritan and, as such, what's to stop him destroying the entire planet?

As I wrote the part about the meteor, there are at least four options I can see to start with.

1) Not every Inquisitor has Exterminatus available at the drop of a hat. While he might have the capacity to destroy a single meteor, that does not necessarily mean he can purge the entire planet. It could take years to gather a fleet with that kind of firepower. Perhaps he's still waiting.

2) The planet is too important to simply blow up - they mine some exceptionally rare material, it's a critical warp hub, its manufacturing capacities are indispensable, etc. (Just because it has deserts does not mean it is strictly desert - refer to our own planet. I don't particularly like planets which are "single terrain type".)

3) Not every Inquisitor is willing to wipe out a planet to be rid of eight people, even if they are a strict Puritan.
If he sees himself as a protector of the innocent (as some Inquisitors do), then he may not be prepared to sanction it except as a very last resort if they really really really have to be gone.

4) He doesn't want them dead. He wants them captured and alive - they will be executed for their taint only after a thorough interrogation.

I'm not sure how glowing eyes would work in the first place without blinding the subject, considering that you haven't specified some sorcerous exception.

It's a warp rock. Of course it's a sorcerous exception.

[Elva]

Glad you made those connections  .

Now that I've had time to go over it in a bit more depth, I can give you some more specific advice(we always relate better to our own work).

First thing I'm noticing, you've got some great characters here, and I'm interested to hear more about them. The problem is, I don't know much about them apart from what they did after contact was lost. What are they like? Do they have any phobias, goals or quirks? And what did they do before the meteor incident? How did they end up in the Interrogator's warband? There's a lot of unanswered questions, which isn't bad, but some of them help build a better image. A good way to get around this is to write up an individual backstory for each of them, talking about the character and not the whole retinue. It just seems as more of an army list entry than a proper description of the characters. Another good tip is that the backstory is essentially a way of justifying who and where the character is now. So the first step would be to decide what they are like now, and then make it so that past events in their lives shaped them into who they are now(I.e. cultural biases, important events, role models ect.). For example, my current protagonist Inquisitor Elva is cocky, confident and has a deep fascination with the Eldar(and possibly some other Xenos, though not as prolific). I decided on those characteristics and justified them with her backstory. Some notable examples would be her fascination with the Eldar was through exposure to an ancient temple and was nurtured by Inquisitor Shia's mentorship(and having an encounter with pathfinder at an early age), the fact that she couldn't get over her days in the Guard was because she wasn't allowed to say good bye to a unit she had fought with for a good portion of her career, heck, even her fighting style is a product of that past(her lack of close quarters armaments being the result of the fact that a Stygian would sooner throw a grenade or go full auto with their lasrifle than get in a knife fight).

The second point I'd like to make, would be that everything needs a reason, even if it's simple. Like, why was the fortress there? It could have been an ancient ruin, an abandoned guard outpost or they could have no idea what so ever and just taken the opportunity because it was convenient. Same with the black market trader, why did he stop on the world? Its a bit hard to murder someone if they're in space and you're on a planet(also his murder might prove fun later as maybe his contacts are looking to avenge his death for whatever reason). And I'm curious how they are to get offworld, which could prove restricting for the GM depending on what they have planned. As well depending on the size of the fortress it could take a lot of work and resources to do what you say they did(most notably the man power assuming they have the proper tools and equipment). A better and more simple way would be to say that it was already pretty buried due to sandstorms and the chimera was there in the first place. It'd also be nice to see an explanation of why they work so well together( have they been in the same band of misfits for years or do they just work naturally together?)

I look forward to seeing more progress, the models should be pretty cool.

[Adlan]

I have a further point concerning Avatar and District 9. You can get away with a lot more if you have the visual's to distract people.

High Powered Characters or warbands are a lot more likely to get a fellow players approval if you have a good model. If someone say... wanted to use a Spacemarine scout warband against me, I'd be much more likely to say yes if they actually had a decently painted and converted warband of spacemarine scouts, than if say, they used nothing but unconverted 54mm action figures which had armour and a gun and there the resemblance to a scout stopped. Take for example, the Eldar warband in P&M, some of us on the first page reacted against the idea that he should tone down the warbands stats, even though that might make it 'fairer' because Eldar should be as good as Eldar are, and it'd be a shame to have accurate models and inaccurate stats.

Not sure if I've got that point across. Oh well.

[Elva]

If I where a GM and someone came to me with an insanely overpowered model that made me want to cry because it was so beautiful, then I'd be more than happy to let them play it, IF they could justify it, since Inquisitor is a Narrative game.

If the movies where warbands, then I'd be more inclined to allow D9 to play than Avatar, because D9 would have used its awesome models to enhance its purpose rather than distract everyone from the lack thereof.

What I'm trying to say is, just because Avatar got away with it, doesn't mean it should happen in Inq. In fact, I'd say that there's more reason for it not to happen.

You bring up a valid point, however such a scenario would fall far under Inquisitor's standards as a Narrative game.(same with movies, they're supposed to tell a story, not just look pretty)

[MarcoSkoll]

Actually, I think it's the inverse. It's not that people will let more powerful models on the table because they're pretty, it's that they won't accept powerful characters when the player hasn't put the effort into making the model.

At that point, it seems like the player has written a powerful character to have a powerful character, rather than because they're prepared to make them an awesome character who's going to be a centrepiece for the table (both visually and in gameplay).

[GAZKUL]

this is totally unrelated to the actual topic but is on the issue of movies which hold similarities to Inquisitor. while i stand by the fact that Avatar is among the worst movies ever made i think good comparisons are Blade Runner, Alien and Platoon.

[Elva]

Apologies. I was attempting to make a point, however I do agree it would be appropriate to go back on subject.