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New Fluff (work in progress)

Started by The Emperors Chosen, June 06, 2012, 06:05:04 PM

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The Emperors Chosen

Rogue Trader Lukas Winter & Mechanicum Priest Taldos Winter

   Lukas and Taldos are brothers in the famed Winter trading family, which is based in the Ultima Segmentum. While the family was wealthy enough that both brothers could have been traders, Taldos's future lay in another path. Whilst Lukas got a ship and went exploring, Taldos took the path of the machine, and in time became a tech priest of the mechanicum.
   During this time, Lukas started to explore, he gathered a crew and set off. He never thought he would see Taldos again, until one day a mechanicum vessel hailed him. It was a ship carrying Taldos, evidently his supervisors felt he could do more use amongst the stars, instead of being cooped up on a forgeworld. It would seem that some of Lukas's spirit of adventure existed in Taldos as well.
   Lukas and Taldos now work together as a team, where as Lukas is the captain of the ship, Taldos is in charge of the upkeep of it. Both brothers benefit from the other being there, and few can match them teamwork.
   It should be noted that Taldos is still relatively new to the mechanicum, so that most of his body lacks the bionics common to other techpriests. He compensates for this by wearing a suit of carapace armor that he has customized to help him both run the ship, and to help in combat.
   Also, Lukas, being the older brother, feels immensely protective of Taldos, and will defend him to the death if need be. He still sees Taldos as the little kid who would follow him around bugging him to tell him stories.

Security Captain Engel


   Not much is known of Engel. There are rumors he was a former Stormtrooper, until discipline problems forced him to be discharged. Since then he floated around the galaxy, doing odd jobs to stay alive. It was on Macragge that he met the Winter Brothers, who were in need of a head of security for their vessel. Engel, being a former stormtrooper, seemed a natural fit for them, and they hired him on. Since then he has served them admirably, even leading the ships security forces in beating off pirate raiders at one point.

Classified files in Segmentum Command show that the reason for Engel's discharge:

   During the Grendl Stars campaign against the Barghesi, his unit fired  (and directed a Basilisk to fire) upon a hab unit that was occupied by civilians. The hab unit at the time contained a significant amount of the Barghesi that were slaughtering the civilians, and the combined fire of both his unit and the basilisk donated the hab's nuclear reactor, killing both the civilians there and the xenos attackers. It should be noted that also contained a prominent, though low level, Ecclesiarch, who had vowed to stay with the civilians. He was killed in the bombardment.
   It was only due to the fact that Engel's actions helped turn the tide of battle-and his family connections-that saved him from the hangman's noose, and instead he was dishonorably discharged.


I just wrote his up, and it's still w.i.p, so feel free to comment!

Dolnikan

There are some very good ideas in there, but a few things stick out. A Storm Trooper does not get discharged, they are killed or get mind-wiped. He could however come from a normal guard unit which fulfilled its service time. I would also change the meeting place to another world, Macragge is not something where a discharged soldier ends up.
Circles of the wise My attempt at writing something, please comment on it if you have any advise.

Koval

Three things I'll add to this:

1) In general, it's a good idea to stay away from established worlds such as Macragge -- it's a fairly important part of the setting with a lot of existing background information dictating the sorts of things that go on there. It's safer, and more fun, to come up with your own world. :P

2) "There are no civilians in the battle for survival"
Were it not for the clergyman in the hab, I wouldn't see much of a problem with that hab being blown up. While arguably heinous and reprehensible*, the Imperium's been known to do worse things, and for all they knew those civilians were probably doomed already.
2a) There's only one Ecclesiarch, and he lives on Terra. You probably mean some other kind of clergyman.

3) Nuclear reactors as we'd know them (ie, probably fission-based) are arguably something of a technological throwback in the Imperium. It's worth changing that to "plasma generator", or even simply "generator" (thus removing any reference to what goes on inside it)


*Of all my loyalist Imperial characters, only one (Macauley, though that's saying very little) would even countenance something like that. That probably says more about me than about my characters, mind you. Bottom line, however, is that the Imperium's done worse things than shell inhabited buildings.