[JoelMcKickass]

Really enjoyed this. I'm going to start prodding too!

[Inquisitor Sargoth]

I do need a lot of it; what happens next is planned, it's just surprisingly difficult to write!

[Inquisitor Sargoth]

Right, sorry to double post, but I've updated. With a major plot development and a rather heavy-handed use of a theme.

My intention was always for this to be a short story, and now we near the end. I apologise to any remaining readers for my slow (glacial, even) update speed, but I'm going to make a rash promise that this will be completed in three weeks.

[Alyster Wick]

Just found your post and thoroughly enjoyed it.  Looking forward to seeing how it ends!

[Swarbie]

So the dark eldar have come to retrieve Melekh?

[Inquisitor Sargoth]

They have indeed, as you can see in the new update

We are very close to the end now - perhaps two (long) updates left. Any predictions as to how this will end?

[Inquisitor Sargoth]

And there we go. I'll likely edit this a bit later, but... it's done! The final showdown is nearly entirely dialogue, even if it ends a little... abruptly. The epilogue is about the same length, and I'm rather proud of some of the descriptions in it.

Comments, criticism, advice for any edits and any questions are welcomed. Or maybe craved. We've all got our vices, after all...

[Wulf]

An excellent read. Thoroughly enjoyed it. So much so that I kept coming always coming back for one more hit.

There isn't much to criticize, I guess. Very well written. My only question is...

Will there be a follow up? A sequel, perhaps?

I'm not suggesting anything, but perhaps the eldar were able to stitch up both Melek and Inquisitor Lemarche, and then... the tables have turned?

[Inquisitor Sargoth]

Thank you for those kind words. Despite the tease at the end, and the fun I had writing Gabriel and Melekh... I'm afraid this is a one-off, because a sequel would just be me saying the same things over again.

But, while a sequel is out of the question, I have one or two other stories you might like littered around, and I'm submitting something to the BL soon. In the likely event of rejection, I'll post it up here.

[Alyster Wick]

Really enjoyed it.  Getting into the psychology behind the DE was interesting and while it didn't necessarily add to the fluff it definitely fleshed out a lot of ideas.  It's a quite a good read and definitely think you should submit it, great one off story. 

Naturally, fleshing the characters out into something full length would be awesome, but as you said, you pretty much got the point across.  It would definitely be fun to follow the characters should they be stitched up (although it sounds as though Melek ate Gabriel's soul as he was dying, thus they both are fodder for she-who-thirsts) if you feel there's a longer story worth telling.

I also love the HR nod with LeMarche's name (unless the relation to LeMarchand is purely coincidental, given the subject matter I'm assuming it's not).

[Inquisitor Sargoth]

It was indeed a nod, nice to see it was spotted. Alas, you can't submit anything that's already been hosted online but I'm working on something different which you'll see (eventually) either way.

Both souls got ate, aye, and they were both pretty mangled at the end. I'm afraid there isn't any way they're coming back, but the fact that people would like them rather pleases me. 

[Baraltax]

Loved it! Really wonderful.

To my mind, it could have done without the epilogue (Which is very well written and enjoyable, mind you). I understand your want to finish with a dramatic cliff hanger, but I found the main story's end more than sufficient and far from "abruptly" as you term it. Might be a matter of taste.

Very well done, anyway and success with the BL submission