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Newbies Inq28 beginnings by meltaburn

Started by meltaburn, January 01, 2013, 08:29:10 PM

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meltaburn

.  Here is my first attempt at an inquisitor for inq28. I haven't finished working out his name,motivation and backstory yet, but I've got the bare bones and would love some ideas and feedback.


Inquisitor Larson Kadarski is an ex commissar,  badly wounded in combat by a tau pulse round and 'promoted' to a desk position; who uncovered a cell of chaos worshippers within his own superiors. Embarrassed by the discovery of heretics in their ranks, the commissarat had him 'promoted' again, ie: quietly sidelined to a position as the commissar of the PDF forces on a backwater agri-world.

Two years into his posting, the colony was subjected to a series of vicious raids by a cabel of the dark elder, thousands were killed and tens of thousands abducted by the xenos and commissar kadarski was again grievously wounded leading militia in a brave but ultimately futile defence of the central farming collectives main habitats. Their lust for sport and captives sated, the xenos withdrew as quickly as they had arrived, and Kadarski was left to dwell on the bitter ashes of both the colony and his career from a hospital bed.

It was during this time he met Inquisitor Hadri Bhutos Van Lisarrd, a venerable and longstanding inquisitor of amalathien leanings whos past exploits were matched only by his current mental and physical frailty. his dismissal or liquidation was considered unseemly by all but the most radical of the conclave council, and instead Van Lisarrd, like Kadarski, was sidelined to a series of menial investigations that his enfeebled state couldnt jepordise. the latest of which was to assist with the debrief of the key survivors of the colony raid. he sat for many hours at Kadarski's bedside, and the commissars record and story fascinated him. When the Inquisitoral delegation departed, Kadarski went with them as Van Lisarrds latest acolyte.

As acolyte, and later interrogator, his drive, discipline and military organisation reinvigorated Van Lisarrds operations. Sucessfully disbanding several minor slaaneshi cults on the shrine world of Nathan's luck with Kadarski the driving force behind the resurgent Van Lisarrd.

Tragedy however, was not far behind. Their investigations on Nathan's luck had turned up a name, Leopoldo Armatusea, a powerful but shadowy figure in the ordo Hereticus. Returning to the conclave to report their findings, Van Lisarrds team were attacked by forces unknown in their lodgings in broad daylight on the main avenue of imperial triumph. Only Kadarski survived, albeit with a serious head injury that would plague him for the rest of his life. After spending many months recuperating, brooding over the deaths of his mentor and comrades, he returned to the conclave to be debriefed and grudgingly promoted to the role of full inquisitor. Withholding his knowledge of Armatusea's links to the cult out of mounting paranoia, he retreated to plan his investigation of the mysterious Armatusea......

.. For the character I was thinking about most of his stats being around the 45 to 50 mark except for a high leadership 75? He's a trained veteran, but plagued by a series of serious war wounds. Plus a average bionic brain. The chance of a glitch representing his crippling migraines.

The only skill I would use for him is 'leader'.

Equipment wise, I know a power fist with built in inferno pistol might be considered OP, but is it too much if he has BS 50 and fairly low stats all round? He also wears a rebreather that contains a microbead and an inbuilt inhaler with two doses of de-tox. He carries a guard issue las pistol as a sidearm and carries a set of knuckle dusters, more for interrogations than combat. He wears mesh armour on his torso for protection.

My justification for the meltafist is that it was part of a suit of tech armour gifted to Van Lisarrd by the grand Vizaar of hive Gharuu on Nathan's luck after the cult purges. The grand Vizaars personal bodyguards were surgically augmented killers, each wearing an armoured, weponised, archeotech bodysuit very similar to the infamous Orrus spryer hunters of necromunda. The suit was made as a gift to symbolise Van Lisarrd being a protector of hive Gharuu, much of the suit was damaged beyond repair in Van Lisarrds assassination. But the right gauntlet survived, Kadarski keeping it both as a momento of his mentor, and a potent tool in the battle against the enemy within.

MarcoSkoll

Sorry to start with this, but Holy-solid-chunk-of-text, Batman! That's just too tedious and unpleasant to read without any paragraphs or line breaks.

If you're looking for feedback, you'll get better response if you go back and break it up to make it more readable.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

meltaburn

#2
Sorry, hope thats a bit less dense and more readable now.

Something I missed out... Van Lisarrd was easily able to induct Kadarski by arranging his 'death' during routine surgery at the military infirmary.

Following the backstory, a bit of Kadarski's own character and motivation.  Raised as an orphan by the schola prognium as a devout follower of both god emperor and imperial creed. Kadarski's zeal was tempered by his experiences on the front line, raised to obey without question, his discovery of heresy at the very core of the commissarat and his subsequent banishment shook  his faith in the  imperial machine to the core and left him feeling adrift , alone and embittered.

The colony massacre he took as a personal burdun of guilt, feeling personaly responsible for the colonists deaths.

He saw being recruited to the inquisition as a way to redeem himself following the colony massacre. He was well aware of Van Lisarrds senility,  and took full advantage of it in order to ingratiate himself and later be the driving power behind Van Lisarrd. He felt personaly responsible for his mentors death.  Since the assassination,  Kadarski has become increasingly paranoid, withdrawn and insular, feeling he can trust no one, especially his superiors in the inquisition. He suffers greatly from his many combat injuries, including terrible migraines that only compound his mental state.

Kadarski is driven, diciplined. And his investigations are defined by meticulous organisation, planning and inception, a benifit of his military experience,  but this can also make him inflexible and liable to be thrown by sudden reversals.

In essence.  Kadarski was defined by his loyalty and naivety.  Both were shattered by his experiences, and morally, he was cast adrift. His previously staunch amalathien  mindset has been thrown into upheaval by some dark home truths about the imperium,  the more he discovers, the less he likes, only now is he beginning to understand everything he was taught and held dear from childhood is a lie.

Although he does not realise it, Since the assassination of Van Lisarrd,  Kadarski has been drifting towards whst is almost a Recongregator philosophy.

MarcoSkoll

That's considerably better.

Right, to do the traditional bits first: Welcome to the Conclave!
(Even if you have been lurking a while.)

Model-wise, you've got something good there. It could do with more gradual contrast on the skin painting, but it's a good use of parts.

Background-wise...

Injury - seeing as you basically start with it, I'm wondering exactly what his injuries may have been. It'll give you an idea of whether he's got bionic organs (either implanted as part of his initial recovery, or later to remove "weaknesses").

Lisarrd - I would imagine a disabled Inquisitor would be more likely to work through agents (a la Dark Heresy) than just work on low profile cases, but I suppose it's plausible he does both - assigning agents to some cases, and occasionally taking low threat assignments to get out in the field.

Recruitment - It's easy to be non-specific and just say an Inquisitor was impressed by a given individual - which is why loads of backgrounds use it, to the point it borders on trite. It's acceptable to use, but also uninspiring.
Remember that an Inquisitor can be very choosy in their recruitment, seeing as they can pick any of the endless billions of humanity - in future, it would be worth wondering about what specific details make a given individual special enough to recruit.

Reinvigoration - "Character becomes the lynchpin after being recruited" sort of requires that the rest of the Inquisitor's staff are lacking in competence. He could certainly show aptitude, but reaching that kind of position would be more believable if it was shown to be a more gradual process than "'Sup Bitches. Watch and learn." - things like piling months or years of learning, team integration and effort on top of his talent.

Armatusea - What made Armatusea feel that Lissard was a large enough threat to risk blowing his cover? After all, just knowing a (probably fake) name isn't that much all in all. Inquisitors have plenty of people trying to sully their names, so it takes more than an insinuation or two to trouble an Inquisitor - particularly, as you say, a powerful Inquisitor.

Lone survivor - Does he have to be? Another survivor from Lissard's retinue could be an interesting member of Larson's retinue... and dial back the cliché a bit.

Promotion - Why, exactly? Seeing as his master is dead (and he's therefore short of his most likely sponsor) and his last action was a catastrophic failure, it seems to be unlikely anyone would support his promotion.

As a somewhat off-the-wall idea, perhaps it was Armatusea (or whoever he suspects Armatusea might really be) that put him forward for the rank. (Over)confidently taunting your enemies might be a page straight out of the "Tempting fate for dummies" book, but it'd even tie into the earlier attack. "I'm so sure that you can't do a damn thing that I'm just going to screw with you" certainly has a lot of intimidation value if you can make it work.

Quote.. For the character I was thinking about most of his stats being around the 45 to 50 mark except for a high leadership 75? He's a trained veteran, but plagued by a series of serious war wounds.
I'd suggest more punch in the other mental stats, but most physical stats being about 50, give or take (maybe a little higher in Initiative) would be reasonable, yes. However, see below.

QuotePlus a average bionic brain. The chance of a glitch representing his crippling migraines.
Has he actually got bionics in his brain, or are you doing a "counts as"? Because there's nothing to stop you writing "X% chance of migraine, take Y penalty" if necessary. (There is a difference, in that bionics are differently affected by some psychic powers and equipment).

QuoteEquipment wise, I know a power fist with built in inferno pistol might be considered OP, but is it too much if he has BS 50 and fairly low stats all round?
Inferno pistols are... pretty nasty. They might be pretty bad at longer range, but if used to the best of their ability, they will tend to take characters out of the game.

I'm also not a big fan of "glass cannons" as a balancing method in Inquisitor. They have this habit of tending to not fall into the middle ground, either doing spectacularly well or badly, which is usually less than thrilling for those they're playing against.

Given the backstory, a more interesting option than hobbling him would be to have had it damaged in the attack - it still sort of works, but it's unreliable (failing to fire - or maybe "jamming" - on a risky action, or some "hazard*" value). This is... well, it is essentially still reducing its hit chance, but it's changing it relative to his other options. His laspistol or power fist (nasty, but less so) become comparatively more viable avenues of attack.

*This is a rule I use in my Revised Armoury project. Hazard(1) means that a hit (or other appropriate) roll ending in 5 goes wrong, Hazard(2) means anything ending in 5 or 6, Hazard (3) is 5, 6 or 7; and so on and so forth - I've used it instead of risky actions, as I can have different degrees of danger. And it works better if there's more than one "dangerous" action in the turn. I'd probably make this Hazard (2) or (3).
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

meltaburn

Thanks very much especially for taking the time to read my ramblings and the advice. Ill try and go through my thoughts in order.

As far as his injurys go, I was thinking he took the tau pulse round square in the chest, the round was slowed but not stopped by the round. It was a serious injury requiring months of recuperation.  And his health and fitness never recovered sufficiently to return to a front line posting.
In the dark eldar attack im thinking multiple lacerations, cut tendons and massive blood loss from being bested in close combat and left for dead in a brutal melee at the steps of a hab block.
At the assassination he suffered a critical head injury from a explosive blast. Most likely a shoulder fired grenade. This put him in a coma for several weeks and left him with the migraines.  Im not thinking he has any bionics, hes just been patched up in a fairly uncaring, imperial manner.

In my mind Lisarrd was a very experienced and highly regarded ( if a bit middle of the road, too principled for the radicals and too moderate for the puritans) inquisitor. A scholarly man of great learning who through great age and despite juve-natwork; had succumbed to dementia. Ie still highly intelligent but unreliable, senile and intermittently lucid.  The rest of the cconclave can see hes gone senile, but he doent see it himself and wont be forced into retirement so the council give him 'interesting' makework, Lasarrd was quite happy to conduct the debrief to increase his knowledge of the dark eldar.

Im also thinking at that time Lasarrd didnt really have much of an entourage beyond a nurse / manservant or two  and probably a couple of minders secretly reporting to the council. Most of his most talented operatives have long been poached or slipped away in his dotage.

Im thinking as far as recruitment goes, it was more that kadarski planted the seed in lasarrds mind. Yhey personally developed a kind of friendship during their bedside talks, and kadarski used that to his full advantage,  he was disenchanted with his lot, his career was in ashes and he saw service in the holy ordos as a means of redemption in the eyes if the emperor. 
From lasarrds perspective, he saw a brave, loyal survivor, who had rooted out traitors in his midst and instead of reward had been punished. Basically the Inquisitor was a bit of a sentimental old fool and allowed emotions to come into it. Kadarski encouraged him to get back on the inquisitorial horse as it were to further his own ambitions.
Although he is fond of the old man he had no qualms in using him to get what he wanted

Reinvigoration. Yeah youre probably right there, although in my mind I was thinking the series of linked investigations on Nathan's luck took a couple of years to complete.

Who knows if it was Armatusea who organised the assassination.  was his name the reason for the hit? Kadarski certainly thinks so, but maybe thats the idea?

Sole survivor. I did have the kernel of an idea that prehaps Kadarski thought he was the sole survivor, knowing only what he was told after waking up from a coma in an inquisitoral infirmary. But that would be an idea for a rival warband!

his promotion to inquisitor... the conclave were seriously disturbed by the assassination on their doorstep. The avenue of imperial triumph is the main throughfare of the capital city of the sector capital. Within ten square kilometers lie the governors palace. The hall of arbites, the grand basilica and of course the inquisitoral fortress. The inquisition owned lodging were attacked by a platoon sized forced of assailants with heavy weaponary, who levelled the lodge house in under two minutes and managed to dissapear again in the most heavily monitored district in the sector. Whatever Lasarrd had found or was thought to have found, it must have been important.  The council were enraged (or at least were acting the part) by the blatent killing of one of their members in their own backyard. They dont think much of Kadarski,  but think he might turn something up, or at least when he winds up dead there might be a clue to follow.

Stats and equipment. I think youre probably right about the mentsl stats. They couple do with being a bit higher.  Physically though. He is a bit of a cripple. He coughs, wheezes, walks with a limp and is in constant pain.
He doesnt have a bionic brain, I just thought it was a good, fair way to represent his migraines thst was allready written rules wise.

I did have the idea that if Kadarski suffers a brain glitch / headache he has the option to take medicine.  He has to take a nerve test when taking his medicine. If passed the effects of the glit h are removed and he gains +10 toughness (painkiller effect) if failed,  he has to roll on the hallucenogens table to represent the powerfull side effects of the drugs.

Making firing the meltapistol a risky action is a great idea!
He doesnt have a reload, the rig cant be reloaded in the field and prehaps the fist and melta work from a shared powersource. A crush action with the fist counts as a use of one of his three shot maybe?

MarcoSkoll

Quote from: meltaburn on January 02, 2013, 01:14:27 AMAlthough he is fond of the old man he had no qualms in using him to get what he wanted
Definitely more interesting, deliberately placing himself as a candidate.

QuoteReinvigoration. Yeah youre probably right there, although in my mind I was thinking the series of linked investigations on Nathan's luck took a couple of years to complete.
That would be very quick by Inquisitorial time frames. The general consensus around here is that characters making Inquisitor in less than a couple of decades is pushing it (definitely so if any of those decades overlap with childhood or adolescence - an Inquisitor does not have time to waste dealing with brooding teenagers).

Bear in mind that this is the most powerful rank in the Imperium - jumping to the top after only two years is as unlikely as it would be in the real world. People don't become President, General, Prime Minister or any of these ranks on those timescales, so they don't become Inquisitors that fast either.

Doubly so as ageing is a lot less important to the wealthy and powerful - as rejuvenat can slow senescence (ageing, in layman's terms) to something like a fifth of its normal rate, twenty or thirty years of training and proving recruits isn't actually that great. Roughly it's equivalent in terms of investment of time to higher education in the modern world - obviously a significant part of a lifespan, but not unspeakably great.

QuoteWithin ten square kilometers lie the governors palace. The hall of arbites, the grand basilica and of course the inquisitoral fortress.
Let's be honest... that's just bad city planning in an age where megatonne munitions are common. Although I could certainly see that there might be an Inquisitorial fortress somewhere on the planet, it's unlikely to be the Inquisitorial fortress.

To take the forum's collective Carthax project as an example, the sector capital is Carthax (obviously), but the main Inquisitorial fortress is on Pillarius Prime, and even then, many Conclaves are held elsewhere, primarily Tigguo Cobauc. (Mostly for the joke that it's an archaic name for Nottingham, where we have most of our events.)

The courthouse and basilica make more sense, seeing as those are much more overt organisations, but it is still its own risk.

QuoteThey don't think much of Kadarski,  but think he might turn something up, or at least when he winds up dead there might be a clue to follow.
But that doesn't take making him an Inquisitor. If that's their plan, they only need to assign him some agents (quite possibly to keep an eye on him) and an Inquisitorial mandate that says he's working for the conclave and gives him remit to follow up that investigation. (Particularly if he really had only been working for the Inquisition for a couple of years).

Although that is an interesting idea (we don't see a lot of warbands lead by Interrogators), I'm not however sure it's what you're looking for, so I'd say their reasoning needs a bit more thought. And he needs a good few more years experience.

QuoteI did have the idea that if Kadarski suffers a brain glitch / headache he has the option to take medicine.
Sounds interesting.

Quoteperhaps the fist and melta work from a shared powersource. A crush action with the fist counts as a use of one of his three shot maybe?
That just seems like it would discourage using the crush attack at all - I don't often see it used in favour of the default attack as it is, and it's already competing with firing the inferno pistol in combat in the first place (even if you make firing it a risky action, actions are declared after rolling in melee.)

Also, I'm not sure how the two would work off the same power supply, seeing as they're quite distinctly different in mechanism.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

meltaburn

#6
Ok so thanks very much to marcoSkoll for his critique, and for pointing out some pretty glaring inaccuracies and discrepancies in my budding character.

So here we go he is part one of my re-write of Commissar Kadarskis backstory. will update with part two once the blisters have gone from my fingertips!!!


Interrogator Larson Kadarsi is a former Commissar, raised as as orphan by the Schola Prognium as a zealous and hard line proponent of the imperial creed. In service to the Emperor he showed himself to be a dedicated, principled officer, with a talent for planning operations characterised by a meticulous attention to detail. although prehaps it could be said that he lacked some of the bombast and theatrical flamboyance possessed by the truly great political officers.

As Commissar, he helped guide the Vasilian 482nd to a series of impressive victories in their part in the Carrion worlds campaign against the naescent Tau empire that saw their regimental banner sent for display in the great Bastilica of the Blinded Martyr on Theunis Alpha-six.

All this was to change however when he was seriously wounded in a sep't pathfinder ambush on the jungle backwater of Krebus's Folly. Hit in the chest by a tau pulse round, Kadarski's life was only saved by the urgent administrations of the regiments corpsmen, medicae staff and surgical team. and the bonded carapace breastplate he wore.

Months of painfull therapy and rehabilitation treatments followed, and at the end of it, Kadarski was dismayed to find, no matter how dilligently he trained, his injuries prevented him from reaching the level of fitness required for a front line Commissar.

On release from convelecance, Kadarski found himself transferred to an administrative desk job on the staging post world of Lacrasanii. He took to his role with little enthusiam for his new campaign of files, ledgers and endless statistics, but his customary diligence and hard work remained undiminished. it was this meticulous attention to detail that led him to uncover a cell of Chaos worshippers hidden within his superiors, the cultists were apprehended and a dozen heretics put to the pyre, but not before the only true friend Kadarski had made on his posting, Commissar Wynstan Coronis, died at their hands. Wynstans death weighed heavily on Kadarski's concience, for it was quite possible Coronis might have lived, had Kadarski not been so eager for the pair to confront the traitors themselves.

Worse was yet to come, Embarrassed by the discovery of heretic forces nestling at the very heart of the organisation created to combat traitors and recidivists in the emperors armies. Kadarskis superiors in the Commissarart general had him quietly sidelinded to a post as commissar of the PDF on the backwater colony World of Ursa. although kadarski took solace in the thought that at least he would be back in the field, with a real soldiers duties to attend to, and a part of him relished the challenge of whipping a rabble of feckless farmhands into a fighting force, there was no mistaking that this was a dead end posting with no chances of promotion or advancement for the ambitious and driven political officer.

Kadarskis faith in the Imperial machine had been shocked by his encounter with the traitors within. and his unshakable faith in the justness of authority had been shaken to the core by his realisation that not all those who acted in the emperors name acted in his best interests.

Kadarski threw himself into his new posting with almost fanatical devotion, determined that no matter his growing sense of unease at the true nature of imperial authority, he would carry out his duties at this blighted hardscrabble sinkhole to the best of his abilities. 

The sloppy, inefficient militia units were reorganised and retrained in Kadarskis usual well planned and executed manner. He was often heard to comment to the senior officers that if they were to be half as well equipped as they should be, that they should be at least twice as well trained.

Kadarskis newly reborn planetary defense force would be put to the test, and found wanting, when two years later the colony was subjected to a series of vicious raids by a cabel of the dark eldar. Thousands were killed and tens of thousands taken prisoner and the militia, lacking heavy weapons, artillery or armour, were butchered by the rapacious aliens as  they fought heroically to protect their fellow citizens.
Kadarski was again grieviously wounded leading a brave but futile defence of the central farming collectives main meeting hall and the civilians hiding within. bested in close combat and left for dead during a brutal melee on the steps, Kadarski suffered multiple lacerations, sliced tendons in both his legs and almost bled to death before being dragged to safety by a brave civilian survivor. Their lust for captives and sport sated, the Xenos withdrew as quickly as they had arrived, and Commissar Kadarski was left to dwell on the bitter ashes of both the colony and his career from a hospital bed.

Kadarski took the colony massacre badly, he felt he had been personally responsible for the safety of the colonists, and had failed in his duty to the god emperor.  the largest proportion of the blame however, he apportioned to his superiors in sector command who had repeatedly refused his requests for the support weapons and anti aircraft munitons that might have saved them from their sacking at the hands of the xenos filth.

As he grew increasingly bitter and resentfull of authority, and the corruption  and inefficiency he percived within it,  a small delegation arrived in the ruins of Ursa's only starport in an unmarked lighter. its arrival going almost unnoticed in the melancoly and self pity.

It was around this time that Kadarski first encountered  Inquisitor Hadri Bhutros Van Lisarrd, a venerable and scholarly inquisitor of amalathien leanings, who's past exploits were matched only by the parlous state of his current condition.
It had been a long, hard life in pursuit of the heretic, mutant, alien and daemon had taken a toll that would have killed lesser men many times over, and no amount of juve-Nat work, gene-transfusion therapy or sheer bloody mindedness could disguise the fact that after nearly three and a half centuries, Van Lisarrd's most powerful weapon, his mind, had succumbed to senility and dementia.

The matter had lurked unseen for many years, Van Lisarrds interrogator, Lupis, had great admiration for his elderly master and had contrived to hide the true state of affairs for as long as possible to preserve the great and storied reputation of his failing mentor. A capable and experienced Ordos agent, Lupis and his explicitors were able to run his operation competently enough not to alert outside suspicion, and any internal dissent was mercilessly quashed by Van Lisarrd's charismatic right hand man.

Matters came to head however, five years before the Ursa raid, when Lupis was unmasked and executed unexpectedly in the midst of what had seemed like the routine infiltration of a smuggler base in the Zenbir asteroid belt.  Without his leadership and influence over Van Lisarrd, the operation disintegrated in an almost farcical manner and the team were routed with heavy casualties, barely escaping the criminals grasp.
In a fit of uncharacteristic rage at the death of His most favoured acolyte and heir apparent. van Lisarrd ordered the annihilation of the Zenbir stronghold with a thermonuclear torpedo.  Utterly destroying both the base, and any hope of the long term infiltration and associated benefits that the conclave lusted for.

to be continued....


Alyster Wick

Been meaning to comment on this for a little while but it kept getting longer!

Solid model. I'll agree with Marco that the face could use some better blending (I only mention it because the rest of the paint job from base to model looks so good that you definitely have the ability to do a great job with the flesh tones). I also really like how the power fist and inferno pistol work with the overall aesthetic. Good pose, lots of time taken with the base, overall it looks fantastic.

On to the story. What I really like about this is that most of the pivotal turns involve some level of political intrigue (to a fantastic or mundane degree). At a character level it makes sense that after Larson keeps getting screwed by his superiors that he would learn how to work stealthier and smarter under Kadarski while learning how to manipulate him to his advantage (avoiding his earlier mistakes and learning a new skillset). Then the rug gets swept out from under him when Kadarski is killed.

I'm going to side with Marco in terms of how long Larson should be with Kadarski (namely a lot longer than 2 years). That said, it isn't a huge deal for you to extend that time to ten years or even 15 by giving Larson some menial jobs (Kadarski had him screen regiments for purity or some such thing during actions X, Y and Z because its obviously in his skillset; throw in a couple randomly named investigations and you're set).

I'll also suggest that you could expand on the scope of Kadarski's organization. Inquisitors (particularly old and respected ones) should have vast networks (far larger than what appear in a typical game of Inquisitor. Therefore Kadarski should have a pretty deep roster of staff and an even deeper rolodex of allies. It wouldn't be far fetched, however, given his fall into senility that the more talented members of his entourage will have left for greener pastures. Sure there will be a few loyal hangers on mixed in with people so low-level that they may not be privy to the fact that their boss is slowly losing his mind. This would make it a whole lot easier (and more believable) that a man like Larson could come in and reinvigorate Kadarski's operation in a shorter period of time. Now there could be counterpoints here (such as the fact that an enterprising interrogator could have done this already) but if you structure it the right way I don't think this is implausible. 

Now I'm going to make a suggestion here that isn't necessarily against what's already written, it's just expanding on it. Suppose that an appreciable number of Kadarski's "inner circle" are agents of other Inquisitors there to keep an eye on him. Suppose too that it is Larson, not Kadarski, that is the big driver of the Leopoldo Investigation. Because of this a bulk of the details were gathered by Larson and went directly to Kadarski.

Because of this dynamic the "moles" are aware of the investigation but not the details. What this means is that whoever is ultimately hurt by the Leopoldo revelations needs to find out what information Larson has, where he got it and who else knows it more than they need the investigation to stop. What this all ads up to is that Kadarski was killed not to stop the investigation, but to remove from the equation the one man who had the juice to start making accusations at the Conclave level.

Now this all circles back to an idea that Marco presented (and which I think is infinitely more interesting than having a standard Inquisitor), rather than promoting Larson to the level of Inquisitor they empower him to lead this ongoing investigation into who killed Kadarski. Say there are three Inquisitors that are involved in this push; two who want to know the truth and one who is involved with Leopoldo.

So now you have Larson leading a warband made up of survivors from the Kadarski strike (I agree that he shouldn't be the sole survivor) and agents that are on loan from the supporting Inquisitors. This could make for a lot of fun as you could give your GM the power to decide who is really there to help and who is a mole.

That was probably way more commentary than you needed, but I thoroughly enjoyed the background and it got my creative neurons firing.

Covenant

Nice model, looks good.
Have you ever tried drilling down the barrels of weapons with a pin vice? It can improve the look of the ends of guns sometimes.
The way the flamer sticks out looks particularly cool.

Adlan

Quote from: MarcoSkoll on January 02, 2013, 05:58:09 AM
Quote from: meltaburn on January 02, 2013, 01:14:27 AMThey don't think much of Kadarski,  but think he might turn something up, or at least when he winds up dead there might be a clue to follow.
But that doesn't take making him an Inquisitor. If that's their plan, they only need to assign him some agents (quite possibly to keep an eye on him) and an Inquisitorial mandate that says he's working for the conclave and gives him remit to follow up that investigation. (Particularly if he really had only been working for the Inquisition for a couple of years).

Although that is an interesting idea (we don't see a lot of warbands lead by Interrogators), I'm not however sure it's what you're looking for, so I'd say their reasoning needs a bit more thought. And he needs a good few more years experience.

There is in Marco's extensive archives an old Fanatic Online Magazine Article penned by my self and a fellow conclaver on the very topic of Acolyte lead warbands. The Judicious Remit of an Inquisitorial Acolyte, spelling mistakes and all might be worth reading, see if any of the ideas strike your fancy.

I like the Character, though I think he needs more time of service, even to be an acolyte important enough to lead a warband.


meltaburn

thanks very much for the friendly welcome and great ideas, I've tried to work some of the suggestions into the story, if anybody can be bothered to read all this guff and reply it'd be much appreciated, I havent really tried any creative writing since school a dozen years ago and I've found I've really enjoyed it.

Second draft ... Interrogator Larson Kadarski backstory.


Interrogator Larson Kadarsi is a former Commissar, raised as as orphan by the Schola Prognium as a zealous and hard line proponent of the imperial creed. In service to the Emperor he showed himself to be a dedicated, principled officer, with a talent for planning operations characterised by a meticulous attention to detail. although prehaps it could be said that he lacked some of the bombast and theatrical flamboyance possessed by the truly great political officers.

As Commissar, he helped guide the Vasilian 482nd to a series of impressive victories in their part in the Carrion worlds campaign against the naescent Tau empire that saw their regimental banner sent for display in the great Bastilica of the Blinded Martyr on Theunis Alpha-six.

All this was to change however when he was seriously wounded in a sep't pathfinder ambush on the jungle backwater of Krebus's Folly. Hit in the chest by a tau pulse round, Kadarski's life was only saved by the urgent administrations of the regiments corpsmen, medicae staff and surgical team. and the bonded carapace breastplate he wore.

Months of painfull therapy and rehabilitation treatments followed, and at the end of it, Kadarski was dismayed to find, no matter how dilligently he trained, his injuries prevented him from reaching the level of fitness required for a front line Commissar.

On release from convelecance, Kadarski found himself transferred to an administrative desk job on the staging post world of Lacrasanii. He took to his role with little enthusiam for his new campaign of files, ledgers and endless statistics, but his customary diligence and hard work remained undiminished. it was this meticulous attention to detail that led him to uncover a cell of Chaos worshippers hidden within his superiors, the cultists were apprehended and a dozen heretics put to the pyre, but not before the only true friend Kadarski had made on his posting, Commissar Wynstan Coronis, died at their hands. Wynstans death weighed heavily on Kadarski's concience, for it was quite possible Coronis might have lived, had Kadarski not been so eager for the pair to confront the traitors themselves.

Worse was yet to come, Embarrassed by the discovery of heretic forces nestling at the very heart of the organisation created to combat traitors and recidivists in the emperors armies. Kadarskis superiors in the Commissarart general had him quietly sidelinded to a post as commissar of the PDF on the backwater colony World of Ursa. although kadarski took solace in the thought that at least he would be back in the field, with a real soldiers duties to attend to, and a part of him relished the challenge of whipping a rabble of feckless farmhands into a fighting force, there was no mistaking that this was a dead end posting with no chances of promotion or advancement for the ambitious and driven political officer.

Kadarskis faith in the Imperial machine had been shocked by his encounter with the traitors within. and his unshakable faith in the justness of authority had been shaken to the core by his realisation that not all those who acted in the emperors name acted in his best interests.

Kadarski threw himself into his new posting with almost fanatical devotion, determined that no matter his growing sense of unease at the true nature of imperial authority, he would carry out his duties at this blighted hardscrabble sinkhole to the best of his abilities. 

The sloppy, inefficient militia units were reorganised and retrained in Kadarskis usual well planned and executed manner. He was often heard to comment to the senior officers that if they were to be half as well equipped as they should be, that they should be at least twice as well trained.

Kadarskis newly reborn planetary defense force would be put to the test, and found wanting, when two years later the colony was subjected to a series of vicious raids by a cabel of the dark eldar. Thousands were killed and tens of thousands taken prisoner and the militia, lacking heavy weapons, artillery or armour, were butchered by the rapacious aliens as  they fought heroically to protect their fellow citizens.
Kadarski was again grieviously wounded leading a brave but futile defence of the central farming collectives main meeting hall and the civilians hiding within. bested in close combat and left for dead during a brutal melee on the steps, Kadarski suffered multiple lacerations, sliced tendons in both his legs and almost bled to death before being dragged to safety by a brave civilian survivor. Their lust for captives and sport sated, the Xenos withdrew as quickly as they had arrived, and Commissar Kadarski was left to dwell on the bitter ashes of both the colony and his career from a hospital bed.

Kadarski took the colony massacre badly, he felt he had been personally responsible for the safety of the colonists, and had failed in his duty to the god emperor.  the largest proportion of the blame however, he apportioned to his superiors in sector command who had repeatedly refused his requests for the support weapons and anti aircraft munitons that might have saved them from their sacking at the hands of the xenos filth.

As he grew increasingly bitter and resentfull of authority, and the corruption  and inefficiency he percived within it,  a small delegation arrived in the ruins of Ursa's only starport in an unmarked lighter. its arrival going almost unnoticed in the melancoly and self pity.

It was around this time that Kadarski first encountered  Inquisitor Hadri Bhutros Van Lisarrd, a venerable and scholarly inquisitor of amalathien leanings, who's past exploits were matched only by the parlous state of his current condition.
It had been a long, hard life in pursuit of the heretic, mutant, alien and daemon had taken a toll that would have killed lesser men many times over, and no amount of juve-Nat work, gene-transfusion therapy or sheer bloody mindedness could disguise the fact that after nearly three and a half centuries, Van Lisarrd's most powerful weapon, his mind, had succumbed to senility and dementia.

The matter had lurked unseen for many years, Van Lisarrds interrogator, Lupis, had great admiration for his elderly master and had contrived to hide the true state of affairs for as long as possible to preserve the great and storied reputation of his failing mentor. A capable and experienced Ordos agent, Lupis and his explicitors were able to run his operation competently enough not to alert outside suspicion, and any internal dissent was mercilessly quashed by Van Lisarrd's charismatic right hand man.

Matters came to head however, five years before the Ursa raid, when Lupis was unmasked and executed unexpectedly in the midst of what had seemed like the routine infiltration of a smuggler base in the Zenbir asteroid belt.  Without his leadership and influence over Van Lisarrd, the operation disintegrated in an almost farcical manner and the team were routed with heavy casualties, barely escaping the criminals grasp.
In a fit of uncharacteristic rage at the death of His most favoured acolyte and heir apparent. van Lisarrd ordered the annihilation of the Zenbir stronghold with a thermonuclear torpedo.  Utterly destroying both the base, and any hope of the long term infiltration and associated benefits that the conclave lusted for.

Van Lisarrd and his surviving followers were immediately recalled under a cloud of disgrace to face investigation by the conclave, under the burning gaze of the council the reasons behind the disaster at Zenbir quickly became apparent, the remaining acolytes unable or unwilling to maintain the facade of Van Lisarrds competence.

The situation left the council in quandary, liquidation was considered unseemly by all but the most radical amongst the council, and when called before them Van Lisarrd refused to contemplate the idea of retirement or a post at one of the Inquisitorial scholams.
It is said that he gave great account of himself in front of this jury of his peers, appearing to gather his remaining faculties in order to to cling on to his honour and position.  He spoke at length of his long and previously impeccable career and service to the Ordos, imperium and god emperor.
  When accusations of incompetence were brought against him by the fiery monodominant  Gurol, he responded with an eloquent denouncement of Gurol's methods, specifically his brutal pogroms in the Tugan secession and his hypocrisy in the suggestion Van Lisarrd had used excessive force.
To Lord Urqhart who spoke of the folly of hubris and pride , Van Lisarrd replied by reminding the ancient lord of his own longstanding feud with the daemonic entity Zilmaghorithh and the eight imperial guard regiments that had been lost to the most hellish fate in the ill-fated planetary invasion of Zil-Zilmaghorithh secondus.

After much discussion and heated argument a verdict was reached, Van Lisarrd would be formally reprimanded and relegated to trivial affairs that could not endanger any of the wider ambitions the conclave might have.

Although Van Lisarrd was in denial about his condition, the Zenbir disaster, and the menial nature of his future role in the Ordos, he was an exceptionally intelligent man, and it is doubtless a small part of him understood and was secretly relieved the council had not had him quietly murdered for the priceless library of books and collection of artefacts he had acquired during his life in the inquisition.

Most of Van Lisarrds more capable operatives had given their lives to ensure his escape at Zenbir, and the dozen or so staff he employed to maintain his rarely visited private residence on Santana notwithstanding, his entourage was reduced to a mere handful of loyal hangers on, most notably his barbarian manservant cum bodyguard Umbril, the ancient and shrivelled scribe Estius, and the eccentric archeo-ologist and one time here-tek Quandus Eutherateus.

Several years of diverting but ultimately useless tasks followed. Van Lisarrds condition seemed to have stabilised somewhat through treatment, with no marked degeneration, but it seemed he had become resigned to his lot, now simply seeking to find solace in his library and memoirs.

He was assigned to debrief the key survivors of the Ursa massacre, and arrived alongside a small security detachment who's role it was to gather any xenos technology left upon the battlefield before it was traded away to unscrupulous rogue traders or destroyed by the shell shoked peasents in a fit of pious rage.

One of the survivors Van Lisarrd interviewed in detail was Commissar Kadarski, the Inquisitor had full access to kadarskis record, and the incident with the cultists on lacrasanii, and Kadarskis subsequent  banishment appalled The elderly inquisitors enfeebled and sentimental amalathien nature.
To Van Lisarrd, Kadarski was a survivor who refused to give in. brave, loyal servant of the throne who had been mistreated by lesser men and their inadequacies.

the bitter and agonisingly bedbound Kadarski was also appalled, but for different reasons, when he had been informed of his interrogation, Kadarski had qualed at the thought of the infamous inquisition getting its hand on him, but here was this foolish old man, arcane secrets and confidential information slipping out in unguarded anecdotes and rambling tales.

To The crippled Commissar Van Lisarrd was another example of everything that was wrong with the authoritarian system of the imperium, the immense power and responsibility of an inquisitor, and the huge capacity to do good for the emperor and his people had been invested in this senile and doddery old man, who should have been relieved of his duties long ago for the good of those he was meant to protect.

Kadarski saw an opportunity, he had nurtured a friendship of sorts with the strange and lonesome old inquisitor, who seemed to delight in recounting his past exploits to the bedridden young pup.
The idea that was forming in Kadarski's mind, to join the inquisition, appealed greatly, Kadarski saw it as a means to redeem himself for his failures, and dissaffected by the buerocracy and corruption he saw all around, the apparent pure and holy nature of the Ordos work spoke to his heart.

A trained propagandist and political officer schooled to maniplulate the hearts and minds of soldiers, the canny commissar was easily able to plant the seed of recruitment in the ailing inquisitors brain.
Although on a personal level he liked the inquisitor, Kadarski still felt Van Lisarrd was unfit for duty, and with the prospect of him being relieved by his (to kadarskis mind) foolish and incompetent superiors apparently unlikely, the morally correct thing to do was to to manipulate the inquisitor into a power for good, here was Larson Kadarskis chance to grasp his destiny as a just and true servant of the throne, and to escape from the bitter ashes of defeat and betrayal by petty, jealous, lesser men.

Two days before the Inquisitorial delegation concluded their investigation. Official records state that Commissar Larson Kadarski died of cardiac arrest under sedation during a routine operation to reconstruct his lower left leg. He was cremated and his ashes interred in a Ursal oak reliquary in the capitals military shrine.

As acolyte, and later interrogator, Kadarski reinvigorated Van Lisarrd's operations with his drive, determination and attention to detail. A seemingly routine mission to screen the 15th Culwan armoured, recently returned from the carrion worlds campaigns, turned up a seditious web of conspirators and would be turncoats that stretched across an entire army group, thanks to Kadarski's expert knowledge of the tau and their insidious propaganda.

A seemingly trivial debrief of a swindled rogue trader led to A seven year undercover operation in hive Joh on Johus 5, which saw the group deep undercover as traders in contraband weaponry and led to the execution of the entire ruling line of clan Hhal.

Kadarski and Van Lisarrds final adventure together would be the series of linked investigation on the shrine world of Nathan's luck lasting another five standard years, which saw them dismantle a number of disparate slaaneshi cults that somehow had all sprung up separately yet simultainiously.
At the conclusion of the investigation, after the last cultists had been siezed by the arbites. the grand Vizaar of hive Gharuu feted inquisitor Van Lisarrd with a celebratory feast at which he was presented with with a Gharuian lifeguard suit as a symbol of his protection over the hive and they're debt of honour,
The Grand Vizaars lifeguards were genetically augmented killers, each equipped with a armoured body suit of arcane construction very similar in type to the rigs worn by the infamous Orrus spire hunters of necromunda.

For the ambitious interrogator and his mentor, The only sour note amidst the celebration and adulation was the single thread that had linked the different bands of heretics. A name, and not just any name, Leopoldo Armatusea, a powerful and shadowy figure in the Ordo Hereticus. The bald fact was that Armatusea's name was important to each of the cults, but for reasons unknown and best left unspeculated.

Leaving Nathan's luck, Van Lisarrds team travelled to santanii, Van Lisarrd wishing to visit his personal library prior to being debriefed by the conclave for reasons he would not be drawn on.

Van Lisarrds residence was an impressive five story townhouse on the grand avenue of imperial victory in lednester, the planetary and subsector capital, within ten square kilometres lay both the Grand Basilica and the Arbites hall of justice. Besides the governors palace, and the secret inquisition bastion on its third moon, the district was probably the most heavily monitored area in the subsector.

Less than six hours after arriving at the residence, as Van Lisarrd pored over his library and the rest of the team relaxed in unaccustomed luxury, the building came under assault by a platoon sized force of assailants armed with heavy weapons, encrypted cox systems, and military standard body armour who managed to both enter and again leave the area without being detected by any of the districts many security apparatus.

In less than four minutes the unknown attackers had gained access, put most of the household staff to the sword and had executed Van Lisarrd in his library before torching it.

All this Kadarski found out from yet again a infirmary cot, he had suffered a critical head injury from an explosive blast, most likely a shoulder fired grenade used in the initial assault and had been in a coma for several weeks. Increasingly paranoid, insular and suffering from crippling migraines as a result of his latest wound, Kadarski discharged himself from care to present himself before the conclave and passionately request he be advanced to full inquisitor and allowed to avenge his mentor, whilst at the same time withholding any mention of the Armatusea connection from his superiors out of mounting paranoia at the motives and hidden agendas of his superiors.

Thinking little of this arrogant upstart, who they were well aware had taken advantage to van Lisarrd to 
Insinuate himself within the Ordos, but outraged (or acting the part convincingly) at the death of their comrade in broad daylight, and besieged by demand for action and cooperative investigation from the subsector governors office, the council refused Kadarskis advancement, and jnstead issued him with an Inquisitorial mandate of detached duty and a special remit to take control of the tattered remains of Van Lisarrds group and investigate the assassination to its conclusion, with authorisation to use all of Van lisarrds accounts, connections and networks in this task. with the carrot of a promotion to full inquistor should he solve the case dangled before him.

they could also use him as a dumping ground for the constant attentions of the subsector governors office and their ridiculous insistence on being involved in any follow up so that they could look into matters Undisturbed by feckless noble born politiciations.

to be continued.........

MarcoSkoll

Nice. I like the concepts behind Lupis, and his attempts to disguise his master's failings, particularly.

I'll re-read it in a state of greater consciousness to see if there's any issues to pick up on, but it's generally looking strong to me.
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Hadriel Caine

Absolutely love the miniature. Great combination of parts and posing :)
I'll comment on fluff when I get a computer again... iPhone and long posts do not mix.
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meltaburn

Just wanted to say thankyou all very much for all the very kind comments and a very warm welcome to the forum.

I'll post up my third and hopefully final write up of commissar kadarski soon hopefully with a finalised statline and the general crapness of the final third of the backstory ironed out.
But I think id better post it up in the character forum and add to this thread when ive got another mini to show for myself!

Next character, which is half painted, is an as yet unnamed cadian military vox / signals specialist.

Other ideas for the warband include Inq van lisarrds former manservant,  a primitive but loyal chap, and a wheelchair bound tech.

Alyster Wick

I'm really digging the new story, great rewrite. It was always solid but you've really pulled things together here. I like that the new expanded background on Lissard/Lupis helps to develop not only Larson's character but the character of the Conclave in which he's active. It gives a much more complete view.

I'll be looking forward to some new models and will check out the Rules section for stats, etc.