Author Topic: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends  (Read 2995 times)

Offline vboo

  • Initiate
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« on: June 25, 2013, 07:06:52 PM »
now, i wish to appologuise in advance, this is my first time creating a war band, and i am new to inquisitor, i would love to try it out, i would enjoy your critique. as far as back storys go i have only formalized my inquisitor, but i will add notes on the others

Inquisitor Tywinnie

age-round about 300, he gave up counting
handed-right
witch hunter
   Tywinnie, was only a mere scholar, when by nothing more than chance he
came across a forbidden text. the text detailed accounts of arch heretics, what
they believe, their four gods, and worst of all the ones who harness the power
of the warp.

   not along after, he was taken by an unknown inquisitor, who put him
in to service with a group of others (think dark heresy). after a 16 years of
service, going around, destroying cults, and investigating troubles, his final
mission was where attention truly grew upon him. he and his rag tag group of
criminals and priests came across a large cult, the rumors where that severe
that their inquisitor had sent a unit of 5 battle sisters to shadow Tywinnie
and his group. after a long investigation they came across a group of twenty
cultists worshiping a man praying to his dark gods. as the man started to
levitate Tywinnie drew his trusted revolver and shot true, right between the
eyes of the levitating cultist, killing him in one fell shot. after which the
battle sisters finished the jobs as bolter fire cleared the room.

   Upon his return to the inquisitors personal ship, he gained an unheard
of audience. upon meeting him Tywinnie was in awe. the inquisitor Thoren was 7
foot tall, clad in ceramite plating with long lavish robes covering every thing,
the robes where ornate with symbols of his inquisitorial rank. During their
dialog< inquisitor Thoren promoted Tywinnie to his personal retinue of 20 or so,
this is where Tywinnie met his long friend Dante. Dante was Thoren's personal
astropath, following him every where.

   After 39 years of loyal service, Thoren petitioned for Tywinnie's
elevation to inquisitor, of which of course was accepted. On the day of his
promotion, Thoren offered Dante his own astropath, to join Tywinnie, knowing of
their friendship

Ws- 61 Bs-77 S-48 t-51 I 69 Wp-72 Sg-84 Nv-75 Ld 86

equipment
revolver 1 reload, 6 manstoper rounds, sword, carapase chest and legs, light 1pt robes every where else, hunter servo skull with motion tracker, auspex with bio scanner

talents
leader, quick draw

Dante- astropath

bio notes,
soul binding removed he entire eyes, which we dose no cover up
would take a bullet for Tywinnie if he could see the bullet
his Psychic ability although grate, he never could use it to see properly and can only sense minds connected to the warp
he was by chance born on a black ship taking his mother to train as an astropath

ws- 21 bs-08 s-29 t-37 i-58 wp-83 sg-72 Nv-46 Ld-36

equipment
basic robes 1pt, force staff

talents
nerves of steel-he cant see or fearsome not quite decided
wyrd-psy-tack

powers
telepathy

Sgt. Dacker 'buck' of the  XI catachan regiment 'sand devils'

upon being promoted to Sargent and given and chain sword and las pistol, he threw away the gun and picked up a shield he found
he always inspired his men as he charged head first
trained allot in demo charges
got fed up of hurting himself so much he trained as a medic while serving Tywinnie
called buck by his unit for the use of a shield or in their words a buckler

right handed

WS 78 BS 69 S 62 T 61 I 57 Wp 46 Sg 43 Nv 72 Ld 64

equipment
chainsword, short sword(he always refairs to as a mere knife) 4 demochages and some sort of trigger system to create traps, aramplas shield and flak on legs and arms

talents
medic, furious assult, feint

Charles Van-saar

gang leader on necromunda
stole money from house van saar and left on a fright ship to the nearest space station and then further off
was famous for his use of two las pistols and the speed in which he drew them

right handed

WS 41 bs 79 s 55 t 58 i 73 wp 62 sg 55 nv 77 ld 46

equipment
2 laspistols, 4 reloads, sword, heavy padded clothing(2pt)

talents
fastdraw GunFighter



your criticisms are more than welcome if not asked for

Offline Koval

  • Grand Lord Inquisitor
  • *****
  • Posts: 1437
  • Well, that was unexpected...
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2013, 07:02:25 AM »
WELCOME TO THE CONCLAVE

I'll take a look at the background later as I'm off to work in a bit, but I'll look at the stats first:

Tywinnie:
-If he's around 300 or so, you'd imagine he'd have a higher Initiative than 69; Inquisitors tend to qualify for Speed 5 on the basis that they've really got to keep their wits about them and think on their feet all the time.
-Those weapons are really pedestrian. The sword's okay, more so if he's geared more towards shooting people, but go and look at MarcoSkoll's Revised Inquisitor Armoury and have a play around with the different revolver and special ammunition types in there so that you don't have the same bog-standard revolver than Jim the Underhive Scavvie could've picked up. If you're uncomfortable with using the Revised Armoury for whatever reason, then using only special ammo will differentiate it from a normal revolver.
-The armour mix seems a little odd, but that'll depend on the model.
-Give him some more abilities beyond just Quick Draw -- look at the Carthax Wiki for ideas.

Dante:
-I'm sorry, but names like Dante are overused...
-Again, I'm sorry, but those stats are pretty pathetic. Have a look in the Skoll Archives for an article called The Sanctioning Brand, and use that. Dante's stats and abilities need some serious tweaking. The article also has rules for soul-bound psykers and Warp Sight.
-He doesn't warrant having either Nerves of Steel, or Fearsome.

Dacker:
-The stats look fine although I might lower the WS a tiny bit.
-Does he not have armour on his groin or torso? :P
-Four demo charges? Surely that's a bit excessive? How's he carrying four briefcase-sized bombs, anyway? One and some grenades should be enough.

Charles:
-I'd lower the BS a tad, and raise the WS to about 50.
-Again, I'd look at the Revised Armoury and give him some non-rulebook laspistols. Mars-pattern ought to work well, or indeed Necromunda-pattern if that's where he comes from.

Offline MarcoSkoll

  • Arch Data-Archivist
  • Administrator
  • Grand Lord Inquisitor
  • *****
  • Posts: 5086
  • Time for some thrilling heroics.
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2013, 12:15:08 PM »
Indeed, welcome!

I'm going to first disagree with Koval on a couple of points:

- Twywinnie's Initiative doesn't inherently have to be a speed 5 value. I normally would make Inquisitors Speed 5, but it's not a hard and fast rule; If he's about ~300, then it may be a few of those years are catching up to him.
Also, I tend not to have too many Speed 5 characters in the warband and Charles would already be one.

- Dante is a well used name, but it's a first name (Dante Alighieri is one of those historical figures known primarily by his first name), so saying it's overused is not unlike complaining every time you meet someone called John. However, do give him a last name!

And now for a more general response:

Twywinnie:
- I'd lower his BS a bit. Given the fact that shooting is regularly boosted by aim actions, I'm more spartan about high BS values than I would be with other stats. (I can only recall having one character with a 70+ BS, and that's "only" 73). Something 5-10 points lower would still make the "right between the eyes" in the background believably skill rather than luck.
- His equipment is somewhat understated, particularly for an Inquisitor three hundred years old. As Koval says, I have a big project to expand the armoury section for Inquisitor, including a large number of revolvers and modifications that can be made to them. Even if it is his old trusty revolver from way back when, it must be something a bit more than just routine to still be worth using.

Dante:
- He'll honestly be in trouble if his only way of seeing is psi-track. He must spend a lot of time walking into walls and tripping on stairs. While it might be interesting to have a character who needs some kind of blind man's cane, it'll be difficult to roleplay well and will make the character relatively useless from the perspective of game play.
I would give him the warpsight rule from The Sanctioning Brand article (which is actually back on Dark Magenta now), unless you're absolutely set on roleplaying blindness and all the problems it brings with it.
- His statline could do with some work:
--> WS this low will usually result in a fast and messy death if anyone gets near him. This is why I'd suggest he is "warp-sighted" and perhaps has some training with his staff, giving him a moderate WS. (Perhaps he spars with his old friend from time to time?)
--> I'd never give a character a T below 40, even if they're deliberately meant to be frail - the way the stat scales will make him disappointingly weak. (Seriously, he won't be fun to play or play against, as he'll be such a phenomenal push-over). Similarly, a marginally higher Strength might fit better with the fitness needed of an Inquisitorial agent.
--> Leadership may not often get used in the core rules, but common community practice is to use it as the character's "charisma" if they're trying to persuade another character to do something. So Ld 36 might be a bit disadvantageous.
- Blindness is not a justification for Nerves of Steel. I can't see bullets either - they're FAR too fast. But an inability to see bullets doesn't stop him hearing them embedding around him or actually feeling them hit!
This is a skill I normally only give to characters incapable of feeling fear, not those who are merely capable of overcoming it.
- Definitely NOT fearsome. Although it's tempting to give him some protection against attackers, an astropath with no eyes might be disturbing but wouldn't be scary - not compared to what so many Inquisitor characters have seen before.
It's not impossible he could have a psychic power that could give him a dread aura though, but it's not something he should have as an "always-on" thing.

That said, I do like the inclusion of a less combat oriented character, as many players just start with "Combat, Combat, Combat" - this and your thought about how he interacts with Twywinnie shows a good attitude to the game.

Buck:
- Background-wise, I have to say I'm not keen on warbands which are made up of characters from worlds that read as "most famous worlds in the Imperium". You've got a Catachan and a Necromundan here, which aren't in the same Segmentum - even Inquisitors tend not to travel that far afield, so it's very unlikely that a combination of people from those exact two worlds (out of a million, remember) would ever happen. It's perfectly reasonable to make up your own worlds in the same vein as these planets though!
- Statline:
--> WS 78 is pretty high, particularly if he'll have the benefit of the shield's parry bonuses.
--> For someone who doesn't use or carry a gun, BS 69 is very high.
--> Death world bulk and mass might permit a higher S & T
--> I tend to make Military characters at least Initiative 60
- Koval is right on this one! Demo-charges are pretty big (and horrendously nasty in game), so I'd definitely lose most of those for just regular grenades (and even that will be nasty).
- Similarly, I have to echo his question about torso armour.
- Furious Assault and Feint represent almost opposite fighting styles, so I'd suggest choosing which one you want to keep.

Overall, this guy reminds me a certain amount of Jack Churchill, who may qualify as the maddest person to have fought in WWII - fighting through most of it with a longbow and broadsword!

Charles:
- See note regarding Buck's background.
- As far as the Statline, I would boost his WS a little and take back his BS.
- For a gang leader (particularly one who's supposed to have stolen loads of money), just bog-standard laspistols are a little plain. You can look around for options in my aforementioned armoury revision project.

... I know that seems like a lot, but don't let it put you off! Generally, the ideas here are good, there's just a few specifics that could perhaps do with a tweak.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Offline vboo

  • Initiate
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2013, 06:59:42 PM »
hi, the thoughts are very much appreciated, but alas, what i see alot in this forum is that im a tad short in time so i will keep this brief

the distance between charles and dacker was an issue for me, i just could come up for a gang name for charles, but i am dead set on having dacker a catachan as he is from my own personal army and i have grown to love that character especially.

as for dante (his surname is alegro as a certain nod to the author of the divine comedy) i know he is incredibly under powerd, but sadly i am dead set on dante, as he is my astropath from my rouge trader game's, and he did more or less do nothing except sense people and occasionaly swing his staff and happen to make a guys' head blow up with psychic warp flame. yes, allthough he will be a pain for both me and my opponent and yes i do mean for him to run in to every thing, but i am sadly a stubborn sod since all these character do have an emotional attachment to me despite not play inquisitor before.

i will however take in to account all that you have said and update the warband in the very near future, i just wish to say thanks again

Offline vboo

  • Initiate
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2013, 07:18:36 PM »
also, i am thinking of replacing tywinnie with a rouge trader, what is your advice on a rogue trader ran warband?

Offline Koval

  • Grand Lord Inquisitor
  • *****
  • Posts: 1437
  • Well, that was unexpected...
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2013, 08:28:32 PM »
Okay, so let's take a look at that background!

   Tywinnie, was only a mere scholar, when by nothing more than chance he
came across a forbidden text.
Okay, the "chance" angle's at least believable, and also answers the question of "why is this guy a character?"

Quote
the text detailed accounts of arch heretics, what
they believe, their four gods, and worst of all the ones who harness the power
of the warp.
This is a little bit less believable, just because this book's talking about a lot of things. It doesn't need to talk about all that for what follows to take place.

Quote
not along after, he was taken by an unknown inquisitor, who put him
in to service with a group of others (think dark heresy). after a 16 years of
service, going around, destroying cults, and investigating troubles, his final
mission was where attention truly grew upon him.
Seems like a bit of a gloss...

Quote
he and his rag tag group of
criminals and priests came across a large cult, the rumors where that severe
that their inquisitor had sent a unit of 5 battle sisters to shadow Tywinnie
and his group.
You might want to use "reports" here rather than "rumours". If they know enough about the cult to be able to strike at them, they're going by more than just "rumours" by this stage!

Quote
after a long investigation
Again, this seems like a gloss, but I can't think of a good way around it right now...
Quote
they came across a group of twenty
cultists worshiping a man praying to his dark gods.
Much as some people may want to be worshipped, this seems a little odd here. Perhaps the cult leader was simply leading them in prayer, or orchestrating some evil rite?
Quote
as the man started to
levitate Tywinnie drew his trusted revolver and shot true, right between the
eyes of the levitating cultist, killing him in one fell shot. after which the
battle sisters finished the jobs as bolter fire cleared the room.
Again, this seems like a bit of a gloss -- maybe you could pad it out a bit with something a bit more active than "Tywinnie drew his gun and shot this guy".

Quote
Upon his return to the inquisitors personal ship, he gained an unheard
of audience. upon meeting him Tywinnie was in awe. the inquisitor Thoren was 7
foot tall, clad in ceramite plating with long lavish robes covering every thing,
the robes where ornate with symbols of his inquisitorial rank. During their
dialog< inquisitor Thoren promoted Tywinnie to his personal retinue of 20 or so
Oddly enough, you've spent more time describing the Inquisitor than how Tywinnie managed to get his attention, particularly since Thoren serves the role of a glorified facilitator in Tywinnie's backstory -- maybe you could strip out a few things here and place more emphasis on Tywinnie and what he does.

Quote
this is where Tywinnie met his long friend Dante. Dante was Thoren's personal
astropath, following him every where.
Fair enough, although I imagine Thoren had more than one astropath if Dante was following him around everywhere as you suggest.

You could talk about what Tywinnie did while in Thoren's service here.

Quote
After 39 years of loyal service, Thoren petitioned for Tywinnie's
elevation to inquisitor, of which of course was accepted. On the day of his
promotion, Thoren offered Dante his own astropath, to join Tywinnie, knowing of
their friendship
Fair enough, but you could use this bit to talk more about what Tywinnie's up to at the moment.

Quote
Dante- astropath

bio notes,
soul binding removed he entire eyes, which we dose no cover up
would take a bullet for Tywinnie if he could see the bullet
See Marco's comments on seeing bullets.
Quote
his Psychic ability although grate, he never could use it to see properly and can only sense minds connected to the warp
So he's defective? :P
Quote
he was by chance born on a black ship taking his mother to train as an astropath
Not much wrong here but this does rely on both mother and child being psychic -- not impossible, but do keep in mind that the ability to use psychic powers is a mutation.

Quote
Sgt. Dacker 'buck' of the  XI catachan regiment 'sand devils'
As you've said, you're fairly attached to the idea of a Catachan, but bear in mind that the Catachan 11th are already defined in GW canon (somewhere in the 4th Edition Codex: Tyranids according to internet gossip) -- I know a lot of people around here try to avoid turning Inquisitor into a game of name-dropping. Having said that, this guy could've been part of an earlier iteration of the 11th and is alive largely through rejuve and sheer adamantium nards.

Quote
upon being promoted to Sargent and given and chain sword and las pistol, he threw away the gun
I trust that his unit didn't actually have a Commissar, as that's an offence which I believe carries the death penalty, or at the very least thirty lashes.
Quote
and picked up a shield he found
This is a little silly but defines the character, so it gets a pass.
Quote
he always inspired his men as he charged head first
Er, it can certainly inspire a unit known for favouring close quarters action, but I'm pretty sure that this sort of behaviour is also a bit reckless and would set the troops a-grumbling about how mad he is.
Quote
trained allot in demo charges
Fair enough.
Quote
got fed up of hurting himself so much he trained as a medic while serving Tywinnie
Also fair enough, though as he's a deathworlder he probably knows a bit about basic emergency first-aid anyway.
Quote
called buck by his unit for the use of a shield or in their words a buckler
Do be careful, a buckler's a very specific type of shield -- unless you're suggesting his unit were made up of "you call that a knife?" types.

Quote
Charles Van-saar

gang leader on necromunda
As Marco suggested and you picked up on, this can and probably should be changed.

Quote
stole money from house van saar and left on a fright ship to the nearest space station and then further off
Fair enough.
Quote
was famous for his use of two las pistols and the speed in which he drew them
This deserves a little bit of extra thought, as this sort of thing describes a lot of gunslingers on any given world, never mind a larger area. He could just be very good at what he does without having to be "famous" for it.



Quote
i know he is incredibly under powerd, but sadly i am dead set on dante, as he is my astropath from my rouge trader game's, and he did more or less do nothing except sense people and occasionaly swing his staff and happen to make a guys' head blow up with psychic warp flame. yes, allthough he will be a pain for both me and my opponent and yes i do mean for him to run in to every thing, but i am sadly a stubborn sod since all these character do have an emotional attachment to me despite not play inquisitor before.
Marco and I have ways of converting 40KRP characters to Inquisitor ones. Marco's version is basically "add 15 to every stat" and then use the character's skills and talents to give him either extra stat points or new abilities. For example, a whole raft of Lore skills would translate to a Sagacity boost.
Mine, on the other hand, is a bit more convoluted and involves writing a load of custom abilities for the character in question. :P

Quote
also, i am thinking of replacing tywinnie with a rouge trader, what is your advice on a rogue trader ran warband?
Aside from the obvious joke about makeup salesmen, there's nothing inherently wrong with a group led by a Rogue Trader, but that would more or less mean a total rewrite of Tywinnie's background and might limit the scope of certain games. Your call.

Offline MarcoSkoll

  • Arch Data-Archivist
  • Administrator
  • Grand Lord Inquisitor
  • *****
  • Posts: 5086
  • Time for some thrilling heroics.
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2013, 12:58:18 AM »
but i am dead set on having dacker a catachan as he is from my own personal army and i have grown to love that character especially.
We're generally wary about taking characters out of 40K armies; they sometimes have a habit of remaining personality-less grunts with power fists and bolters, but Buck seems to avoid the clichés that normally happen here.

Quote
yes, allthough he will be a pain for both me and my opponent and yes i do mean for him to run in to every thing, but i am sadly a stubborn sod since all these character do have an emotional attachment to me despite not play inquisitor before.
Inquisitor is a more action oriented game than 40K RPG, so you'll find that a role that might have worked reasonably in RT might not be so great here.

It might be pretty easy to put yourself off the character fast if you're deliberately starting with the acceptance that he's going to be a pain.
As such, I'd consider whether you could reasonably develop the character up slightly. If it's supposed to be the same character (and you keep Twywinnie an Inquisitor), then he's presumably moved from the service of a Rogue Trader to an Inquisitor (and several years have passed), so you have a bit of licence to tweak the idea to be more suitable for Inquisitor.

also, i am thinking of replacing tywinnie with a rouge trader, what is your advice on a rogue trader ran warband?
There's no specific reason why not, as Rogue Traders can frequently justify their involvement in many Inquisitor games with reasons like it potentially threatening one of their investments, being a favour that's being called in, one of the conditions of their trade warrant (some require providing military aid under certain circumstances) or simply fancying a good old Indiana Jones style adventure that day.

I wouldn't play the money card too much though - I've been trying to develop the motivations of my own Rogue Trader, Lady Riemann, beyond just that; it would make her sound like one hell of a greedy bitch if her reason was always financial.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Offline vboo

  • Initiate
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2013, 01:55:02 PM »
but how much would be using the money card too much be, in context. the fact that alot of RT's have the sheer wealth to buy a planet with only a little thought of, maybe is this a bad idea. at that, how could i equip a rouge trader, im sure taking 4 dueling pistols across his chest like Blackbeard with some over the top fancy twohanded power sword of doom that he can barely use hung at his hip, might be a tad too far. my personal thought on rogue traders after playing RT the past few years is they are ridiculously rich, i dont quite understand how i could underplay the "if i give you x amount can you please shut up, before my friend makes you" card.

on dante, he will be used no matter what the decision and i will increase his stats off the guide lines you both mentioned, the sanctioning brand article 

also sorry if this has went of topic, but to be honest im not entirely sure what i want for my warband any more, maybe im putting far to much thought in to my first warband

Offline MarcoSkoll

  • Arch Data-Archivist
  • Administrator
  • Grand Lord Inquisitor
  • *****
  • Posts: 5086
  • Time for some thrilling heroics.
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2013, 03:15:54 PM »
but how much would be using the money card too much be, in context. the fact that alot of RT's have the sheer wealth to buy a planet with only a little thought of
There might JUST be a couple of Rogue Traders that rich, but almost all are assuredly not rich enough to buy a planet!

A really successful Rogue Trader might be wealthy enough to own a small fleet, but that's many orders of magnitude different to owning an entire planet and all its resources.

Quote
my personal thought on rogue traders after playing RT the past few years is they are ridiculously rich, i dont quite understand how i could underplay the "if i give you x amount can you please shut up, before my friend makes you" card.
See the notes on p222 of "Into the Storm" (I assume you have it if you play RT) for ideas for how throwing lots of money around has its drawbacks.

It's not unique either. The Inquisition themselves basically have a bank balance of "however rich I want to be today", except they have extra "my authority comes straight from the Emperor" behind it - you have to wonder just how bonkers a Rogue Trader would have to be to repeatedly tangle with people who have both the authority and wherewithal to make them disappear into a torture chamber for the rest of their life if it were just about fairly trivial (to them) monetary sums.

As using nothing but money as the motivation for a Rogue Trader gives them a stupidly one-track mind and makes them hard to fit into many circumstances, I would suggest ensuring there are other motivations.

I would give ideas, but it's unfortunately the case I've run out of time and have to head out now.
S.Sgt Silva Birgen: "Good evening, we're here from the Adeptus Defenestratus."
Captain L. Rollin: "Nonsense. Never heard of it."
Birgen: "Pick a window. I'll demonstrate".

GW's =I= articles

Offline DapperAnarchist

  • Grand Lord Inquisitor
  • *****
  • Posts: 1006
  • I'm not a Rosicrusian, are you?
    • The Keltani Subsector
Re: Inquisitor Tywinnie and his friends
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2013, 05:03:10 PM »
My two Trader characters, for some not-money examples, are motivated by 1) a desire to fight, and to prove to his arrogant fat-cat family that he's better than they are and 2) a massive case of anti-Xenos paranoia - I've written into his backstory that he destroyed a large chunk of a feudal world because he was convinced they were aliens in disguise. Other options are re-establishing some kind of family honor, recovering a particular artifact, religious fervour, mystical visions, political plans, revenge, paying off a blood debt...
Questions are a burden to others, answers a burden to oneself.

The Keltani Subsector  My P&M Thread - Most recent, INQ28!