The Ordos Majoris - Roleplay > Out Of Character

Legacies OOC

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N01H3r3:
There... that's the entire story so far reposted, with a few spelling errors corrected and a couple of sentences polished a little.

Gideon Sterne:
That's the best story featuring an Eldar I've ever read, well done. Really captures the nature of the alien. How long will the finished piece be?

In terms of constructive criticism, I note that you move quite late on - about half way through - to dating each passage, whereas previously the reader is left to work out what time things happen. It's a bit inconsistent and would work better if you picked one method and stuck with it; personally I'd date every entry in Eldar and Imperial calendars.

N01H3r3:

--- Quote from: Gideon Sterne on August 04, 2009, 07:11:53 AM ---That's the best story featuring an Eldar I've ever read, well done. Really captures the nature of the alien. How long will the finished piece be?
--- End quote ---
The main character was my original character for the in-character portions of the Conclave, back when that's all the Conclave was; as of 999M41, he's eight thousand, six hundred and thirty eight years old... needless to say, there's a lot left to cover. I'd say that I'm probably only a third of the way through, half-way at a stretch. Certainly, there are some big events yet to cover, such as the Tyrannic Wars and the conflict on Haran, that I've mentioned Alundirel being involved in during previous in-character posts in years past.


--- Quote ---In terms of constructive criticism, I note that you move quite late on - about half way through - to dating each passage, whereas previously the reader is left to work out what time things happen. It's a bit inconsistent and would work better if you picked one method and stuck with it; personally I'd date every entry in Eldar and Imperial calendars.
--- End quote ---
I started doing that mainly because the story stopped being linear as I started to explore the origins of the Kindred of the Silent Hand, an organisation to which Alundirel will eventually belong. Leaving the time somewhat ambiguous only works so long as you're not jumping millennia forwards and backwards.

I see your point, though, and will look at adding additional dates to the older posts once I get the chance.

Muundus:
Well I have been gone for many years, and it is still good to read stories about your little eldar. How has everything been going?

N01H3r3:

--- Quote from: Muundus on November 30, 2009, 10:57:36 PM ---Well I have been gone for many years, and it is still good to read stories about your little eldar. How has everything been going?

--- End quote ---
Good to see an old alias around these parts, even if our characters had nothing but (justified) loathing for one another.

I've not had much opportunity to add to Legacies in a while, due to other commitments, the current of which is my most exciting news ever - I'm currently freelance writing for Fantasy Flight Games, contributing to the Warhammer 40,000 Roleplaying Game.

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