Inquisitor Amos Pureforge and Acolytes

[Hum_Con]

It has been a while, but this warband building is an addictive business. As with my previous warbands I will post pictures in the painting and modelling area.

Inquisitor Amos Pureforge

Inquisitor Pureforge began his career as an Imperial Guard Officer with the Praetorian 17th Regiment. During the purging of Erasmus he fought alongside Inquisitor Lord Sto Odin against the purple scar Chaos cult and the Chaos Space Marines of the Emperor's Children. Impressed by the young officer's strong will and discipline Sto Odin recruited him as an acolyte and Pureforge remained with him for a number of years.

After sustaining serious injuries and losing his left leg and spleen, Sto Odin retired from active duty but continued to manage a teams of Acolytes, with Pureforge, now holding the rank of Interrogator, acting as field commander. Pureforge was eventually given his Inquisitorial seal on Sto Odin's recommendation.

Still relatively young for an Inquisitor, Pureforge is nominally a reactionary puritan, like his mentor. But in fact he has hasn't yet seriously considered his philosophical beliefs. Fundamentally, he sees his duty as an Inquisitor no differently than his duty as an Imperial Guard officer. He tracks down and destroys enemies of the Imperium. His methods and tactics may have changed, but his goals and enemies have not.

Stern and professional, Pureforge is confident and commanding in a crisis. He treats his followers with respect and would not give an order he would not be willing to carry out himself. A quick thinker more than a deep one, he is an excellent investigator, dogged and single minded, but other Inquisitors have found him stubborn and inflexible. Whether this will change as he gains experience, remains to be seen.


WS BS S   T   I   Wp Sg Nv Ld
65  71 62 63 72 81  78 80 85

Right Handed

Equipment: Revolver with 12 standard bullets, Stubber with 30 standard bullets, 6 flechette, 6 man-stopper and 6 dumdum bullets. Sword. Auspex. Average bionic left ear.

Armour: Flak (3) on all locations except head.

Talents: Leader, Gunfighter, Hipshooting


As before feedback is welcome, but I am most interested in how balanced he is in game terms.

[MarcoSkoll]

Inquisitor Pureforge began his career as an Imperial Guard Officer with the Praetorian 17th Regiment.

Although obviously his rank may have changed, you could add "finally reaching the rank of X" in there somewhere. It's depth to add. Was he a lieutenant? Maybe he was a Major. Big differences, and implies interesting things about his background.

During the purging of Erasmus he fought alongside Inquisitor Lord Sto Odin

Inquisitor Lords who fight in the field are very very few and far between. It's a "rank" that's strongly dependent on political standing, which field Inquisitors tend not to achieve.

After sustaining serious injuries and losing his left leg and spleen, Sto Odin retired from active duty

Given Imperial medical technology and bionics, the loss of an original limb and internal organ is actually pretty trivial reasons to quit service. As Odin was apparently experienced enough as a field Inquisitor to have earned the additional title of Lord, it's very likely he had already suffered far worse.

but continued to manage a teams of Acolytes, with Pureforge, now holding the rank of Interrogator, acting as field commander. Pureforge was eventually given his Inquisitorial seal on Sto Odin's recommendation.

What distinguished him beyond his peers?
Beyond the typical list of "exemplary record", "good leadership qualities", "highly skilled", etc -  an Inquisitor Lord has many many acolytes, and many of them could be described like that. Why did he stand out as the best of the best?

Stern and professional, Pureforge is confident and commanding in a crisis. He treats his followers with respect and would not give an order he would not be willing to carry out himself. A quick thinker more than a deep one, he is an excellent investigator, dogged and single minded, but other Inquisitors have found him stubborn and inflexible.

I know you said he hadn't really considered his viewpoints, but this does sound pretty generic.

This is similar to the above, but rather than wondering what made him stood out to Odin, I'm wondering what makes him stand out to you as an individual - what made him more interesting a concept than all the other Inquisitors you could have made and played?
What are his quirks, foibles, character flaws and individualities that make him... well, him, rather than any other Inquisitor?

WS BS S   T   I   Wp Sg Nv Ld
65  71 62 63 72 81  78 80 85

I'm seeing three 60s, three 70s and three 80s here... it is definitely on the high side, particularly for a relatively new Inquisitor.

I'd suggest bringing down all of those mental stats 10 points. (Which would have him on about the same level as my miniature namesake, also a relatively young and inexperienced Inquisitor.)

Revolver with 12 standard bullets, Stubber with 30 standard bullets, 6 flechette, 6 man-stopper and 6 dumdum bullets.

Guns akimbo does seem a somewhat unlikely combat style for a former Imperial Guard officer - it's more of a "scummer" type of thing in my mind.
Any thoughts about why he has decided to go with this quite impractical combat style (as opposed to taking one bigger gun)?

On the note of guns akimbo, I've realised I see very little of the WH40k version of it that would actually make some sense. Laspistols are high capacity, lightweight, low-recoil and highly reliable - in other words, they would be practical to fire with only one hand, not needing a second hand available to reload (at least as often), clear jams or control the recoil.

Auspex.

Which type of auspex?

[Hum_Con]

I'm going to revise the stats down to:

WS BS S   T   I   Wp Sg Nv Ld
65  71 57 58 72 73  73 75 85

[Hum_Con]

Perhaps part of the reason he comes across as slightly generic is that I scaled back the background from my previous Inquisitors because writing a large amount seemed to lead to it being picked to pieces. It seems, however, I cannot win.

To be honest, I find this kind of thing quite off-putting. Feedback is good, but a lot of this comes across as needless pedantry. Which is peculiar when you consider that this is pedantry about something that is completely fictional. I could understand if this were an historical character and contained incorrect historical detail. What often seems to happen in these warband-background is a line by line dissection based on the belief that it is important to find some kind of criticism for every single statement.

For instance:

Inquisitor Lords who fight in the field are very very few and far between. It's a "rank" that's strongly dependent on political standing, which field Inquisitors tend not to achieve.

Given Imperial medical technology and bionics, the loss of an original limb and internal organ is actually pretty trivial reasons to quit service. As Odin was apparently experienced enough as a field Inquisitor to have earned the additional title of Lord, it's very likely he had already suffered far worse.

What is the source for either of these statements? Because they come across as blind assertion.

Anyway, I got what I really wanted which is some feedback on his stats which I agree were set a little too high. I think if I'm honest I was already leaning in that direction but needed a push in that direction.

[Koval]

These "blind assertions" you accuse Marco of making are observations picked up over several years of reading various bits of background material and applying common sense. Field-Inquisitors, for example, are generally too busy being in the field to play politics. It's not always the case, but when it is, it's simply a fact of being "out there" doing things rather than playing nice with one's Conclave. And similarly, the statement about Imperial medical capabilities doesn't need a source, because we have the entire Adeptus Mechanicus and the entire Adeptus Astartes, not to mention juvenat and all the people that have benefitted from counting their age in centuries.

As for Marco picking your background to pieces, I do it too, so I'll point out that the reason Marco and I take background apart as we do is because we've both seen a shedload of rubbish characters with inconsistent backgrounds, apparent Mary Sue-isms, both, or worse. I'll let Marco speak for himself regarding his methodology and motivations, as he's the one that reviewed your character's background, but when I do it, I try to A) get people to think a bit more and B) point out what should be changed, and how, to avoid something going really bad.

However, you surely have to expect people pointing things like this out when you put up a character for review -- otherwise, there wouldn't be much point in other people reviewing and critiquing your characters.

---

Regarding your character's current stats, his Initiative seems a tad high but the rest looks alright. I'm also not wild about weaponry that's available on civilian markets, though the fancy ammunition does offset that a bit.

[MarcoSkoll]

To be honest, I find this kind of thing quite off-putting. Feedback is good, but a lot of this comes across as needless pedantry. Which is peculiar when you consider that this is pedantry about something that is completely fictional.

Peculiar?

The Conclave is a forum dedicated to an 11 year old roleplay-skirmish that was never hugely popular in the first place and now almost entirely unsupported by its parent company. It also hosts some discussion on the related roleplay games, has a story writing section and also serves as an ally to the remaining fan magazine.
It doesn't strike me as an environment in which you shouldn't expect to find some fairly dedicated (yes, maybe even obsessed) people.

In any case, we're not trying to be off-putting. The game for many of us is all about its background.

What is the source for either of these statements? Because they come across as blind assertion.

Over a decade of reading WH40K material makes it a little hard to recall exactly what the source for everything I know about the universe is.

But in either case, both points can be also follow as logical conclusions from basic points.

In the first case:
Inquisitors already have the highest authority, save only two greater than their own - the Emperor himself, or a sufficient martial threat. (To quote one of my characters: "Waving your [rosette] in the face of an iron-skinned mutant isn't going to stop it tearing your head off.")
As the Emperor is currently unavailable, the only authority sufficient enough to grant the Inquisitor Lord a meaningful position of "First among equals" is the support of a great enough number of one's peers that they (and you) go unchallenged.

To attain this level of support from one's peers, in an environment as wildly split as the Inquisition, and to attain it to a level greater than almost any other Inquisitor is clearly not an easily attained feat.
An Inquisitor with the political nous and manoeuvring to earn allies is clearly a more likely prospect to earn that than an Inquisitor who spends their time out in the field, likely falling out with other Inquisitors in the process.

For example, Barack Obama is not President of the United States of America (the position most people would consider the most powerful man on the planet, and yet not even close to the power of an Inquisitor Lord) because of military prowess, he's the president because he's spent his life making political connections and gaining popularity.
The same goes for most men in power - they are usually there through politics. To achieve that highest office on primarily military prowess, you have got to be unbelievably good and you've got to be consistently unbelievably good.

And after achieving it, you've got to be rather arrogant to actually go back into the field for anything less than the greatest of threats - if you're that good, you're too valuable to risk on any affair your "lessers amongst equals" can handle.
Only for a serious threat will an Inquisitor Lord, rather than an Inquisitor be required and worth risking.

In the second case:
As I've hopefully asserted above, achieving a respect higher than almost all other Inquisitors is not something that happens in a short while, particularly in the field.
As such, considering that an Inquisitor Lord's career will be decades, maybe even centuries, into the most dangerous career in the Imperium, it is very likely that they'll have been injured many times over.

As far as the trivialities of those injuries? If they can get a bionic leg on an Imperial Guardsman and have him fighting again, of course the most powerful men in the Imperium can get the best medical care to replace a limb. That is what the bionics section of the rulebook is about.
And that's quite aside from organ/limb cloning technology.

~~~~~

If I may be honest for a second, this does seem like a slightly extreme reaction to a couple of questions about what made Pureforge the Inquisitor you wanted to play, plus a couple of background points that shouldn't have come across as entirely out of the blue and which can be easily fixed.

Three suggestions to deal with them, right off the bat:
1) Odin is an Inquisitor Lord, albeit one removed from the field. Pureforge was instead recruited by one of his agents. Odin's reason for leaving the field is irrelevant, he already isn't in it.
2) Odin is an Inquisitor Ordinary. His withdrawal from the field was forced due to horrific injury (a lot more than a leg and a spleen) or extreme age. Pureforge was sponsored in the normal manner.
3) Odin is an Inquisitor Ordinary. His withdrawal from the field was not forced, but was political (maybe he did become an Inquisitor Lord) or to protect his knowledge. Sponsorship depends on the specifics of the previous point.

I'm sure you could make at least one of those work.

EDIT: I will admit there are times at which I say just hang the rules and do what you will... but it's usually at times when the only way to do what you will is by hanging the rules.

In cases like this where nothing much has to be changed to fit in, it doesn't seem worth breaking the rules.

[Dwi]

*Sigh* I hate doing this but I may have to shoot up your char a little bit.

The people of Pratoria are a rather harsh and unforgiveing lot, with high standards and even the most petty crime carrys the most draconian of punishments.
As shuch I can't see Purforge respecting anyone exsept his own people or other shuch hardliners. Shuch as Mordians and law enforcement.

Secondly, I find it hard te beleave that hes still sorting out his philosophical beliefs. Someone like him would be a monodominat or a hard line amalathian.

Also here is the only reall fluff I could find on on Pureforge's homeworld:
Link: http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Praetoria
Link: http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Praetorian_Guard

It's not much to go on but I think I have put the basics up there.

[MarcoSkoll]

The people of Praetoria are a rather harsh and unforgiving lot, with high standards and even the most petty crime carries the most draconian of punishments.
As such I can't see Pureforge respecting anyone except his own people or other such hard-liners. Such as Mordians and law enforcement.

While that is the Praetorian fluff, I tend to prefer not stereotyping entire planets in that way. You could hardly give me a certain description of the personality and beliefs of any one person randomly picked out of a single city, let alone a country, continent or an entire planet.

Hence, the fluff for my planets tends to give what common stereotype of a planet's population may be (at least in the minds of other planets), with the acceptance that trying to give one description for several billion people is impossible.

In any case, he is described as a disciplined and stubborn Puritan, so his personality is hardly out of the way for a Praetorian.

I find it hard to believe that he's still sorting out his philosophical beliefs.

Not having seriously considered beliefs is a different matter to not having sorted them out. Many people utterly believe things they have not actually sat down and challenged with the other alternatives.

[Hum_Con]

These "blind assertions" you accuse Marco of making are observations picked up over several years of reading various bits of background material and applying common sense.

Several years? I have twenty two years and counting. Please?

Field-Inquisitors, for example, are generally too busy being in the field to play politics. It's not always the case, but when it is, it's simply a fact of being "out there" doing things rather than playing nice with one's Conclave.

Inquisitor Lord is a rank given out to Inquisitors with considerable experience and respect. Think about Inquisitors Coteaz or Karamazov. There is no reason why this could not have been accumulated "in the field." But in fact, the entire distinction between "field Inquisitors" and "political Inquisitors" is a false one as most Inquistorial work involves a mixture of investogation, political maneuvering and straight up fighting.

And similarly, the statement about Imperial medical capabilities doesn't need a source, because we have the entire Adeptus Mechanicus and the entire Adeptus Astartes, not to mention juvenat and all the people that have benefitted from counting their age in centuries.

Juvenat treatments arrest the aging process, they don't regrow lost limbs. And bionic technology is enormously variable in different parts of the Imperium. Note the Space Marines live longer because of their gene seeded, technology that dates back to the great crusade and is no longer widely understood and the Adeptus Mechanicus tend to replace faulty parts with more and more machinery of varying quality and reliability.

Some Inquisitors get lucky and get reliable replacement parts, others get stuck with whatever rubbish they can get their hands on. Such is the risk of an Empire in which technology is treated as a collection of holy relics rather than an object of study.

But in the case of Inquisitor Lord Sto Odin, the loss of his leg was the impetus needed for him to take a less bombastic approach to his work, which befits an Inquisitor of his age.

[Hum_Con]

I have a few thoughts about Purforge. I wasn't particularly attached to Praetoria as a home world, so I have reworked that to provide a better explanation for his particular fighting style.

The second change hopefully addresses the issue of him being bland and generic. The changes are in italics

Amos Pureforge was born in Hive Straxus in on the Hive world of Iacon. Pureforge became a bounty hunter, tracking down underhive criminal scum and renegades until his life took an unexpected turn when the planetary governor, required to supply Imperial Guard troops forcibly recruited a large part of the lower hive levels including Pureforge.

Pureforge took to life in the guard surprisingly well, flourishing in the disciplined environment and rising up to the rank of Sergeant, before an Ork slugger shell removed the back of his officer's head during the siege of the Ninth. Pureforge took command of his platoon, leading his men in a counter attack against the Orks and was later granted a battlefield comission.

During the purging of Erasmus he fought alongside Inquisitor Lord Sto Odin against the purple scar Chaos cult and the Chaos Space Marines of the Emperor's Children. Impressed by the young officer's strong will and discipline Sto Odin recruited him as an acolyte and Pureforge remained with him for a number of years.

After sustaining serious injuries and losing his left leg and spleen, Sto Odin retired from active duty but continued to manage a teams of Acolytes, with Pureforge, now holding the rank of Interrogator, acting as field commander. Pureforge was eventually given his Inquisitorial seal on Sto Odin's recommendation.

Still relatively young for an Inquisitor, Pureforge was nominally a reactionary puritan, like his mentor. But in fact he hadn't yet seriously considered his philosophical beliefs. Fundamentally, he saw his duty as an Inquisitor no differently than his duty as an Imperial Guard officer or bounty hunter. He tracked down and destroys enemies of the Imperium. His methods and tactics may have changed, but his goals and enemies had not.

Pureforge's convictions were to be shaken when he received an message from Lord Sto Odin, encoded in one of the ciphers he used among his acolytes. The message was somewhat cryptic, but requested that Pureforge meet him with all haste on the orbiting observation post above the gas giant Char. It also contained the warning to "trust no-one."

Pureforge hurried to the meeting point, but was delayed by a warp storm. When he arrived, he discovered a massacre had taken place. The bodies of Sto Odin's acolytes lay scattered and, at the centre, Sto Odin himself, killed by a bullet wound to the head. There was evidence of a struggle, but no trace of Sto Odin's assailants, if any had been killed, which was likely, their bodies had been removed.

Pureforge was convinced that Sto Odin's killer must have come from within the Inquisition itself or at least have had Inquisitorial help. Even the existence of the observation post was an Inquisitorial secret. Pureforge had dedicated himself to tracking down his mentor's killer, partly for revenge, but partly for self preservation. If not for the warp storm, Pureforge would almost certainly have been caught up in the massacre.

Pureforge had always been stern and professional, but he has become increasingly self-contained, secretive and even paranoid. His relationship with his acolytes had always been one of mutual respect between a superior and trusted subordinates, but this relationship has become increasingly strained as Pureforge has become more and more single-minded.

[Koval]

Field-Inquisitors, for example, are generally too busy being in the field to play politics. It's not always the case, but when it is, it's simply a fact of being "out there" doing things rather than playing nice with one's Conclave.

Inquisitor Lord is a rank given out to Inquisitors with considerable experience and respect. Think about Inquisitors Coteaz or Karamazov. There is no reason why this could not have been accumulated "in the field." But in fact, the entire distinction between "field Inquisitors" and "political Inquisitors" is a false one as most Inquistorial work involves a mixture of investogation, political maneuvering and straight up fighting.

I appreciate that the two aren't mutually exclusive, but you do have to admit that many will favour some approaches over others, even if they do have to do a bit of each -- hence the distinction you deride as being false.

As for Inquisitor Lord being a rank, the Thorian Sourcebook is the first thing I could find where we're explicitly told otherwise -- while one does have to be sufficiently experienced to become one, it's described more as formalising recognition of that experience. It's like joining a really exclusive club -- you don't have any extra power on paper, but unofficially you carry more clout because you've been recognised for the respect you command.

And similarly, the statement about Imperial medical capabilities doesn't need a source, because we have the entire Adeptus Mechanicus and the entire Adeptus Astartes, not to mention juvenat and all the people that have benefitted from counting their age in centuries.

Juvenat treatments arrest the aging process, they don't regrow lost limbs. And bionic technology is enormously variable in different parts of the Imperium. Note the Space Marines live longer because of their gene seeded, technology that dates back to the great crusade and is no longer widely understood and the Adeptus Mechanicus tend to replace faulty parts with more and more machinery of varying quality and reliability.

Irrespective of what individual procedures entail, the fact remains that the science is there, and that it is available. I'm well aware that juvenat doesn't regrow lost limbs or bring your ancestors back from the grave, but if the Imperium can play around with the aging process, then it can damn well replace a lost limb or organ. Hell, we have bionic arms today (you'll have to excuse the link to the Daily Fail, but it was either that, or a link to the Sun or the Mirror), so even given things like the Age of Strife and the Heresy, medical science has marched on.

Some Inquisitors get lucky and get reliable replacement parts, others get stuck with whatever rubbish they can get their hands on. Such is the risk of an Empire in which technology is treated as a collection of holy relics rather than an object of study.

Nonetheless, they do have access to the very best even if it's not immediately available, though that boils down more to the medical treatment than the quality of the replacement organ.

In any event, I don't imagine many people will complain that much if their cybernetic whatever "only" happens to be equivalent to what they lost (but synthetic, obviously) rather than a straight improvement, and should Inquisitor X have to settle for something suboptimal, I imagine s/he will be pragmatic enough to put up with it for as long as necessary, before having it replaced properly thereafter.

But in the case of Inquisitor Lord Sto Odin, the loss of his leg was the impetus needed for him to take a less bombastic approach to his work, which befits an Inquisitor of his age.

Having it be a wake-up call and an "I'm too old for this, dammit" reaction is more believable than "laid off because he lost his leg", so I'm glad this is a step in the right direction -- I'll take a look at the rest of Pureforge's background in a bit.

[MarcoSkoll]

Other than my previous points, the new background mostly works for me. And on that note...

I have twenty two years and counting.

Most of the fluff on the Inquisition is this side of the releases of Inquisitor and Dark Heresy (which, although it is now FFG, was originally Black Industries - and is still fully licensed). They were a lot more vague the other side of 2001.

Inquisitor Lord is a rank given out to Inquisitors with considerable experience and respect. Think about Inquisitors Coteaz or Karamazov.

These two are examples distinct enough to be made into 40k special characters. They do not, therefore, have to represent the notoriety of a typical field Inquisitor Lord any more than Sebastian Yarrick has to represent the notoriety of a typical Commissar.

The 'Clave tends to further distinguish the Inquisitors of the WH40K table as "Battlefield Inquisitors" - what is in the Codex, any codex, is only a small slice of the Imperium as a whole. These individuals are an entirely different breed of Inquisitor to those represented in Inquisitor or Dark Heresy. The groups don't mix very easily or often - expecting a investigative Inquisitor to be trained by a Battlefield one is a bit like expecting a drill sergeant to train a police sergeant (more likely, he's going to train soldiers like himself).

But in fact, the entire distinction between "field Inquisitors" and "political Inquisitors" is a false one as most Inquistorial work involves a mixture of investigation, political manoeuvring and straight up fighting.

The distinction is very true. We're not talking about just local politics, but grand scale Inquisition and Imperial politics.

Take Operation Neptune Spear (the operation that killed Bin Laden), for example. The investigation, politics and fighting were all handled by completely separate individuals.
Investigation was done by US intelligence (primarily the CIA, I think). The politics (the question of whether the action was taken, fraught with issues like marching into another country) ultimately filtered up to the President. The fighting was done by Seal Team Six.

Just because the different work was a mix of different roles, it did not mean they all had to be done by the same person.
An Inquisitor, therefore, can very comfortably involve himself in just politics (which operations he wants to go ahead, either under his own command or anyone else's), and leave the investigation and fighting to completely separate individuals.

In fact, that's one of the primary points of Dark Heresy. The Inquisitor decides what he wants the schmucks you play as to deal with (politics), and you have to get on with the investigation and fighting - which is often still split across different individuals in a team.

An Inquisitor who takes his time at the halls of the sector conclave, manipulating politics such that his viewpoints gain ground and things are done increasingly "his way"... heck, that's quite possibly the most effective way to see your vision for the Imperium happen.

Juvenat treatments arrest the aging process, they don't regrow lost limbs. And bionic technology is enormously variable in different parts of the Imperium.

Juvenat technology is a very wide range of things. It can be anti-agapic drugs, but it is as equally cloned replacements for failing organs.
(I can quote Abnett's "Missing in Action" Eisenhorn short story as a source for cloned limbs. Although I mostly dislike his writing, his short stories tend to sit better with me.)

As for bionics - Dark Heresy has finding one (of equal quality to the original limb) by default as the same difficulty as finding a Long-Las or Auto-Shotgun (neither of which would strike me as hard for an Inquisitor Lord to acquire). Obviously, it's variable across the Imperium, but at barest minimum, he can get whatever medical aid he can where he is, then have them replaced with high quality bionics at the next available opportunity.
Bionics are obviously not irreplaceable, as they will wear out and damage... then not repair themselves like soft fleshy bits do. (Most of my characters with bionics are several repairs and replacements along.)

[Koval]

Amos Pureforge was born in Hive Straxus in on the Hive world of Iacon. Pureforge became a bounty hunter, tracking down underhive criminal scum and renegades until his life took an unexpected turn when the planetary governor, required to supply Imperial Guard troops forcibly recruited a large part of the lower hive levels including Pureforge.

Conscripting from among hive scum makes sense -- joining the Guard gives them a way up and out, for a start, and they already know their way around a gun so all that's left is instilling discipline.

Pureforge took to life in the guard surprisingly well, flourishing in the disciplined environment and rising up to the rank of Sergeant, before an Ork slugger shell removed the back of his officer's head during the siege of the Ninth. Pureforge took command of his platoon, leading his men in a counter attack against the Orks and was later granted a battlefield comission.

Again, makes sense, Guardsmen are trained to look to their Sergeants for guidance, and if the Sergeant says fix bayonets and charge...

Presumably the commission made him a Lieutenant. However, perhaps you could expand a bit on "the siege of the Ninth" -- Ninth what, or Ninth of what?

During the purging of Erasmus he fought alongside Inquisitor Lord Sto Odin against the purple scar Chaos cult and the Chaos Space Marines of the Emperor's Children. Impressed by the young officer's strong will and discipline Sto Odin recruited him as an acolyte and Pureforge remained with him for a number of years.

I would imagine an Inquisitor needs more of a reason to recruit someone than "strong will and discipline". Obviously both of these things help, but I think Pureforge probably needs to do something a bit more outstanding to impress an Inquisitor of such standing as Odin. Odin's probably seen loads of promising young officers anyway.

After sustaining serious injuries and losing his left leg and spleen, Sto Odin retired from active duty but continued to manage a teams of Acolytes, with Pureforge, now holding the rank of Interrogator, acting as field commander.

Again, this would probably have needed to change Odin's mindset to "I'm getting too old for this" -- legs are easily replaced.

Pureforge was eventually given his Inquisitorial seal on Sto Odin's recommendation.

This bit still needs expansion. What was it that made Pureforge stand out? Why did he warrant being made an Inquisitor?

Still relatively young for an Inquisitor, Pureforge was nominally a reactionary puritan, like his mentor. But in fact he hadn't yet seriously considered his philosophical beliefs. Fundamentally, he saw his duty as an Inquisitor no differently than his duty as an Imperial Guard officer or bounty hunter. He tracked down and destroys enemies of the Imperium. His methods and tactics may have changed, but his goals and enemies had not.

This is better now that it doesn't refer to his current mindset.

Pureforge's convictions were to be shaken when he received an message from Lord Sto Odin, encoded in one of the ciphers he used among his acolytes. The message was somewhat cryptic, but requested that Pureforge meet him with all haste on the orbiting observation post above the gas giant Char. It also contained the warning to "trust no-one."

This sounds a bit predictable, if I'm honest, like it's the start of a thriller or horror movie. While the aborted arc it leads into is certainly different, it reminds me of something, of which it's probably not meant to remind me.

[quote[Pureforge hurried to the meeting point, but was delayed by a warp storm. When he arrived, he discovered a massacre had taken place. The bodies of Sto Odin's acolytes lay scattered and, at the centre, Sto Odin himself, killed by a bullet wound to the head. There was evidence of a struggle, but no trace of Sto Odin's assailants, if any had been killed, which was likely, their bodies had been removed.[/quote]At least Odin's death didn't result in a Deathbed Promotion, I suppose...?

Pureforge was convinced that Sto Odin's killer must have come from within the Inquisition itself or at least have had Inquisitorial help. Even the existence of the observation post was an Inquisitorial secret. Pureforge had dedicated himself to tracking down his mentor's killer, partly for revenge, but partly for self preservation. If not for the warp storm, Pureforge would almost certainly have been caught up in the massacre.

Pureforge had always been stern and professional, but he has become increasingly self-contained, secretive and even paranoid. His relationship with his acolytes had always been one of mutual respect between a superior and trusted subordinates, but this relationship has become increasingly strained as Pureforge has become more and more single-minded.

This is much better. He actually has a real motive and a real personality now, complete with flaws. The character's now much more believable.